Do you ever wonder if Rick Santorum worries that prettier, younger, even more homophobic sweet thangs are taking his place? Maybe each day he looks in the mirror, worries about the grey at his temples, puts on a new sweater vest, purses his lips, tells himself he’s still got it, and goes out to grapple […]

The Arizona Senate voted Thursday to approve a bill aimed at one of the pet obsessions of preppers and Obama conspiracy theorists. The proposal would require the Department of Emergency and Military Affairs to develop and issue recommendations for how to survive if an electromagnetic pulse hits Arizona or the entire United States, theoretically sending […]

Oh, hai there, militia guys, how goes the Second American Revolution these days? Not so great, huh, what with getting arrested just for trying to buy some pipe bombs and thermite grenades? Bummer. These three super-Patriot militia guys from Georgia — Brian Cannon, Cory Williamson, and the seriously misnamed Terry Eugene Peace — are just […]

Welcome to a Gummint Shutdown Edition of the Derp Roundup, your weekly accumulation of asinine asshattery from the aether that was too stoopid to ignore completely but that we weren’t inclined to waste a full-length post on. To start off, let’s do a little bit of mythbusting! We caught Tucker Carlson’s Home for Lying Liars […]

The United States Senate voted last night to approve $60 billion in relief for communities affected by Hurricane Sandy — money that was evidently counted by hand, because Hurricane Sandy was three stinking months ago. The vote passed with 62 votes, which is nice because the money can finally go out, but we cannot forget […]

His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney, having had a week to formulate an answer to a rather pertinent question that stupid “reporters” just would not stop asking him, has finally decided what his stance on FEMA is. Are you ready to guess? Here are your options: He is for it; he is against it; […]

Yes, yes, we know: this story, like so much hurricane wreckage, is starting to grow mold already. But let’s pause a moment to give incompetent former FEMA director Michael Brown his due: with his insanely stupid suggestion that the Obama administration was responding too quickly to Hurricane Sandy, he pulled off a fairly adroit bit […]

Mitt Romney is the current GOP nominee for president, which means that, for the next six days, he’s the head of the Republican party. We’re pretty sure that’s in the Constitution? Anyway, in the wake of the hurricane that’s crippled New York City (and also exiled Your Wonkette to Tumblr, even though Tumblr is based […]

As Click & Clack will tell you, it’s the stingy man who ends up paying most, and apparently it’s as true of governing as car repairs! And apparently also, Mitt Romney, as governor of Massachusetts, was quite the Scrooge when it came to building levees and other flood control for his state! Here is a […]

Hello to all of you in the Eastern third of this great country, currently hoarding boxes of wine and tarp and more boxes of wine in order to hopefully get through Frankenstorm without killing your loved ones in a fit of cabin fever. How is that going for you, gathering all those supplies and whatnot? […]

The last few years has been pretty much a nonstop ride of positive safety PR for the nuclear power industry, right? I mean, this is an technology that absorbed an enormous earthquake and tsunami and barely even killed anyone/left whole towns uninhabitable/terrified the world. Nuclear power couldn’t even bring harm to erstwhile Wonkette scribe Jack […]

Texas, Texas, burning down, where o where can the federal government be found? Rick “just secede already” Perry is all bent out of shape because, God, these idiots, the feds are too busy with their red tape to help Rick Perry do war on the enormous wildfires trying to swallow the entire state back into […]

Oh goody, what’s that crazy old Ron Paul yammering on about this time? Someone told him there’s a hurricane-a-comin’ and he just rolled his eyes thinking about how FEMA is going to come in and just plain old ruin everybody’s fun. Back in Ron Paul’s day (the turn of the century), there was no dumb […]

Tornadoes and floods and wildfires and droughts and other biblical plagues have been killing Americans and destroying their towns all year long, but constipated mannequin Mitt Romney wants to be seen as a real tough-guy Tea Party asshole these days. So he told a crowd that helping storm victims is “immoral” and that it also […]

Here is a good use legislators have found for taxpayer money: more congressional travel, millions and millions of dollars of it! It’s not like we weren’t just hearing about how maybe some of those disaster victims in Missouri needed it, or anything. Free vacations for members of Congress and their families are the one thing […]