fema
Senate Approves Sandy Relief, Senate Still Littered With Bastards
The United States Senate voted last night to approve $60 billion in relief for communities affected by Hurricane Sandy — money that was evidently counted by hand, because Hurricane Sandy was three stinking months ago. The vote passed with 62 votes, which is nice because the money can finally go out, but we cannot forget [...]
Mitt Romney, With A Week To Think About It: Only A Crazy Person Would Try To Privatize FEMA!
His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney, having had a week to formulate an answer to a rather pertinent question that stupid “reporters” just would not stop asking him, has finally decided what his stance on FEMA is. Are you ready to guess? Here are your options: He is for it; he is against it; [...]
Steve King Off Message About GOP’s Specific Plans To Screw Over Disaster Victims
Mitt Romney is the current GOP nominee for president, which means that, for the next six days, he’s the head of the Republican party. We’re pretty sure that’s in the Constitution? Anyway, in the wake of the hurricane that’s crippled New York City (and also exiled Your Wonkette to Tumblr, even though Tumblr is based [...]
Mitt Romney’s Guide To Flood Management
As Click & Clack will tell you, it’s the stingy man who ends up paying most, and apparently it’s as true of governing as car repairs! And apparently also, Mitt Romney, as governor of Massachusetts, was quite the Scrooge when it came to building levees and other flood control for his state! Here is a [...]
Mitt Romney Iz In Ur Hurricane, Privatizin Ur FEMA
Hello to all of you in the Eastern third of this great country, currently hoarding boxes of wine and tarp and more boxes of wine in order to hopefully get through Frankenstorm without killing your loved ones in a fit of cabin fever. How is that going for you, gathering all those supplies and whatnot? [...]
Feds Cutting Back On Nuclear Power Plant Safety Because Honestly, Why Bother
The last few years has been pretty much a nonstop ride of positive safety PR for the nuclear power industry, right? I mean, this is an technology that absorbed an enormous earthquake and tsunami and barely even killed anyone/left whole towns uninhabitable/terrified the world. Nuclear power couldn’t even bring harm to erstwhile Wonkette scribe Jack [...]
Rick Perry Remembers He Hadn’t Yet Blamed Feds For Texas Wildfires
Texas, Texas, burning down, where o where can the federal government be found? Rick “just secede already” Perry is all bent out of shape because, God, these idiots, the feds are too busy with their red tape to help Rick Perry do war on the enormous wildfires trying to swallow the entire state back into [...]
Nostalgic Ron Paul Remembers His Favorite Early 20th Century Disasters
Oh goody, what’s that crazy old Ron Paul yammering on about this time? Someone told him there’s a hurricane-a-comin’ and he just rolled his eyes thinking about how FEMA is going to come in and just plain old ruin everybody’s fun. Back in Ron Paul’s day (the turn of the century), there was no dumb [...]
Mitt Romney Says Helping America’s Tornado Victims Is ‘Immoral’
Tornadoes and floods and wildfires and droughts and other biblical plagues have been killing Americans and destroying their towns all year long, but constipated mannequin Mitt Romney wants to be seen as a real tough-guy Tea Party asshole these days. So he told a crowd that helping storm victims is “immoral” and that it also [...]
Legislators Spending More On Travel Than Before Recession
Here is a good use legislators have found for taxpayer money: more congressional travel, millions and millions of dollars of it! It’s not like we weren’t just hearing about how maybe some of those disaster victims in Missouri needed it, or anything. Free vacations for members of Congress and their families are the one thing [...]
FEMA: Razed Houses In Alabama Have ‘Insufficient Damage’ To Receive Funds
A family in Alabama whose house was completely leveled, squashed, shredded, and blown apart (in that order) by one of the nation’s endless tornado rampages got a creepy letter from incompetent bureaucrat holding pen FEMA saying that, after inspection, their home was deemed to have “insufficient damage” to qualify for FEMA funds. Could you please [...]
House Republicans Were Just Trying To Cut Tsunami Monitoring, of Course
As tsunami waves from the Japan earthquake begin to hit Hawaii and are on their way to our West Coast, the federal government has been closely monitoring the situation at the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center and is issuing advisories to those affected as necessary. Luckily, they aren’t anticipating major damage. The United States is able [...]
New Orleans Evicts Remaining Toxic FEMA Trailer Dwellers
From the noble Brownstones of Brooklyn to the hilltop villas of Malibu that fall onto incoming traffic whenever there’s a mudslide, America is full of architectural gems. So it’s rather worrisome that New Orleans officials are planning to rid their city of the last remaining FEMA trailers — national treasures which are widely recognized as [...]
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