felons
Long National Nightmare Over: Jailbird Scooter Libby’s Voting Rights Restored!
It was a dark day in America when Cheney henchman Scooter Libby got convicted and imprisoned by Barack Nobama’s tyrannical army (and its Time Machine). A dark day indeed when you criminalize “politics,” wherein “politics” is defined as “blowing the cover of a CIA person just to make some un-understandable point about … well, we [...]
Awesome First Transgendered Elected Lady And City Councilman Wife Did Awesome Crimes Back When She Was A Man
UPDATED BELOW! Hey, remember the election? Tons of cool stuff happened that we didn’t write about because we were busy laughing at WND or whatever, and most of that cool stuff was stuff like LEGAL MARIJUANA and GAY PEOPLE AND BUDDHISTS ALL OVER THE PLACE. There was a hot bi lady, there was a cool [...]
Five Shockingly Living People Who Endorsed Mitt Romney
The Washington Free Beacon lists the five most amazingly Romney-endorsing “celebrities” of the 2012 cycle, and let me tell you, guys, these people are all somehow still alive, probably. 1. Lindsay Lohan The “Mean Girls” star and all-around party girl recently announced that she was voting for Romney. “I just think employment is really important [...]
Meet Terrifying Pennsylvania GOP Crime Family ‘The Orie Sisters’
Hey, The Wire, would you like to come back on the television set, but ran out of every kind of scumbag hero society could possibly hold? Have you met Allegheny County’s the Orie sisters, who are all either on trial now or already convicted felons for misusing their state Senate and state Supreme Court offices, [...]
Tom DeLay Sentenced To Three Years In Prison With Himself
Texas judge Pat Priest sentenced DeLay to three years on a conspiracy charge and also sentenced him to five years in prison for money laundering. Priest, however, allowed DeLay to accept 10 years probation on the money laundering charge, assuming he meets certain conditions set by the court. DeLay could have received up to life [...]
Maybe Franken-Felons Didn’t Destroy Democracy After All (But They Probably Did)
Al Franken is the patron saint-senator of comedians, artists, and Mick Jagger impersonators, but did you also know he’s beloved by America’s felons? A “traditional values”-loving pack of watchdogs called Minnesota Majority says that “hundreds of ineligible felons may have voted [in] the 2008 General Election,” and they all may have/probably/most definitely voted for Franken. [...]
Internatonal Jewish Conspiracy Hires Abramoff To Market Pizza
Jack Abramoff! Remember that guy? Corrupt lobbyist something something Congressman A something something Filipina sex slaves blah blah golf junkets yadda yadda yadda WHATEVER, you can Google this business yourself, what do we look like, your personal political scandal historians? We’re all about the future, not the past, and in the future, Jack Abramoff, who [...]
GOOD-BYE, TED STEVENS! “It’s official, and it’s a national tragedy: Ted Stevens has lost his Senate seat to some Democrat, in Alaska. Today, on his 85th birthday, the convicted felon and old white Republican Ted Stevens has been voted out of the office — voted out of office by Alaskans.” [AOL Political Machine]
Why Is McCain Making the Alaskan Quit?
Alaskan Republicans are all so corrupt and stupid, when we saw the big “McCain Tells Alaskan To Fuck Off” headlines, for a fleeting happy moment we thought he fired Sarah Palin — even though, in our hearts, we knew it was about Palin’s creepy old boyfriend and convicted felon criminal, Ted Stevens, the other Republican [...]
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