• DO NOT MESS WITH BANK OF AMERICA: Hmmm, curious! Just yesterday Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich was cold hangin’ with all the peoples who got fired from the window shoppe and threatening B of A with terrible consequences for cutting off that window shoppe’s line of credit. And TODAY, MYSTERIOUSLY, the Feds show up on the governor’s doorstep and take him into custody on suspicion of being a corrupt bastard. Never before in the history of Illinois has an elected representative of the people been suspected of pay-to-play politics, so you can see how this would concern everyone. (The take-home message is, Bank of America will throw you in jail.) [Chicago Tribune]

RON PAUL MUST HELP BLACK VAMPIRE TAX HERO! The Feds threw the book at American cinema/tax hero Wesley Snipes! Three Years for just evading income taxes and escaping to Africa. FREE WESLEY SNIPES! [New York Times]

Movie hero Wesley Snipes is beloved by Americans for killing vampires and helping Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis colonize space planets for the American Dream, but now the Evil American Government is trying to destroy him for protecting your tax rights! The celebrity star is in Florida today so a federal court can sentence him for tax evasion. The feds want to put him in jail for three years! But Denzel Washington and Woody Harrelson have arrived in Florida and they are going to bust him out of the joint, hooray! UPDATE: Nooooooo! Three Years! [CNN/Ocala.com]