December 10, 2013
Folks, it’s time to face facts. Obama’s plan to destroy the economy has failed. We had high hopes after the first 14 months of Obama’s first term, as we reveled in the negative jobs numbers that kept rolling in month after month like an ever-rising tide of sorrow. “Good,” we said to Satan, who is [...]
Here’s some gubmint news that has NOTHING to do with the SHUTDOWN SLIMDOWN!!1! Breaking the unwritten rule that during a shutdown all news must be related to how the opposition is ruining America, Our Guiding Star of Socialist Dictatorship, His Royal Supreme Lordship Barack H. Obama, has put forth a nominee to be the next [...]
We sure will miss Michele Bachmann, Empress of Crazytown, when she leaves the House of Representatives to more intimately torture the people of Minnesota on a daily basis. But until she leaves, she is determined to utter every nonsensical thing possible, in hopes of making the life of Yr Wonkette all that much better. Today’s [...]
The transcripts for the Federal Reserve’s 2006 meetings were released this week, and with them comes the news that the people in charge thought that the housing crisis was pretty hilarious at the time, and that the biggest problem facing the economy was inflation. That is to say, that the economy was growing too damn [...]
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke with his unenviable job of trying to save the crumbling American economy with interest rate tweaks is sort of like a firefighter standing before a Texas wildfire who gets to shoot at it with a water pistol while everyone yells at him about the size and type of his water pistol. [...]
Deep in the confederate stronghold of Richmond, Virginia, there’s something mighty queer afoot: The Federal Reserve building in Richmond has a homosexual rainbow flag fluttering beneath the American flag. Why? Apparently it’s National Gay and Lesbian and BLT Month, and if President Obama wasn’t already minority enough, he is also promoting this celebration of the [...]
A small-town bank in Oklahoma is under siege by governmental secularizing forces this holiday season, as the Federal Reserve is very jealous of their impressive Jesus-themed bank and wants to ruin it for everyone. According to a local teevee news station website, the Fed comes ’round every four years with a list of regulations to [...]
America’s fancy new hundred dollar bills are apparently so hard to actually print that the Federal Reserve has quarantined more than a billion of the new Benjamins within “special vaults” in Fort Worth and D.C. The screwed-up moneys are the first to feature the signature of Timothy Geithner, so they’re already morally worthless, but that’s [...]
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke flew to Japan this week for a tour of that nation’s various soiled-panties-dispensing vending machines, but he needed to do something “work-related” so he could deduct the tickets on his taxes, so he ended up stopping by a Tokyo conference on “the future of central banking” and gave a few [...]
HOW WILL THE FED SURVIVE? Bernie Sanders’ amendment to the financial regulatory reform bill which would allow for a one-time GAO audit of the Federal Reserve’s lending practices during the financial crisis (GIVE IT ALL AWAY -10,000% INTEREST!) has passed the Senate, 96-0. It is a much weaker audit bill than the Ron Paul-Alan Grayson [...]
This morning’s theatrical populist pretend-fest is already underway in the Senate, where Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke is facing his first reconfirmation hearing before very very angry Republicans and Democrats, who have all sorts of “ideas” for the Fed in the future.
Have you ever had a holiday vacation on Martha’s Vineyard? So boring! Once you get over the “Ah and there’s where Ted Kennedy crashed his car and drowned that lady” historical thing — sorry, Denby! — you realize it’s just a place full of crappy tourist shops and terrible humid boiling weather and a bunch [...]
Hey, a new survey about things people don’t know: Gallup asked some random selection of Americans who haven’t had their phones shut off to rate nine major federal agencies they may or may not have heard about, on the AM radio. The results are … bad news for, let’s see, Ben Bernanke? Sure!
Barack Obama ate a hamburger… Sarah Palin got a gun… torture, they’re still going on about that… Sean Hannity is insane… what else today? Oh right, the thing, the thing where goods and services are bought and sold and jobs and money and stuff! Ben Bernanke said optimistic things about it today, albeit with a [...]