Tag: federal reserve

Donald Trump’s Cabinet of Sadness. Wonkagenda for Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Donald Trump's stuffs his cabinet with spoiled goods, North Carolina is counting its votes AGAIN, and Russia is shoving its missiles wherever it wants. Your daily news brief!

Harriet Tubman To Grace New $20 Bill, Because Suck It Andrew Jackson

Remember that GOP debate yea however many moons ago, when all the millionteen candidates were asked what American lady they thought would be real sexy for the $10 bill? It was pathetic! They all copied each other and said...
Good For Your Business

Whole Foods’ Gamble: Will In-Store Tattoo Parlors Attract Enough Insufferable Millennials?

Another week and another chance to celebrate the accomplishments and examine the needless suffering of our favorite Corporate Persons. Thanks for fighting our stupid wars, millennials. Here's another tattoo parlor Are you interested in a tattoo like some common Rock and...
blood meridian 2015

Walmart Has To Pay $31 Million For Retaliation-Firing An Employee, Hooray!

There needs to be a special term for schadenfreude where Walmart is concerned. Sure, we love to see bad things happen to most big companies, but seeing Walmart taken to task for its heinous treatment of employees is satisfying...
And Glenn Beck isn't even governor!

Texas To Build Very Own Gold Stash Inside Giant 20-Acre Mattress

Texas is pretty busy checking off items on its rightwing-obsession bucket list. It's got open carry for handguns, voter ID to keep the Wrong People from voting, it's aggressively not regulating chemical plants, and since you never know when the...

Unemployment Rate Falls To 7 Percent, Proving We Must Repeal Obamacare

Folks, it's time to face facts. Obama's plan to destroy the economy has failed. We had high hopes after the first 14 months of Obama's first term, as we reveled in the negative jobs numbers that kept rolling in...

Janet Yellen To Be First Woman To Lead Shadowy Cabal Of Central Bankers, Jews At Insidious ‘Federal’ ‘Reserve’

Here's some gubmint news that has NOTHING to do with the SHUTDOWN SLIMDOWN!!1! Breaking the unwritten rule that during a shutdown all news must be related to how the opposition is ruining America, Our Guiding Star of Socialist Dictatorship,...

Michele Bachmann Is Either Crazy Stupid Or Stupid Crazy Or Both

We sure will miss Michele Bachmann, Empress of Crazytown, when she leaves the House of Representatives to more intimately torture the people of Minnesota on a daily basis. But until she leaves, she is determined to utter every nonsensical...

Federal Reserve Thought Housing Crisis Was Funny in 2006

The transcripts for the Federal Reserve's 2006 meetings were released this week, and with them comes the news that the people in charge thought that the housing crisis was pretty hilarious at the time, and that the biggest problem...

Republican Thugs Warn Ben Bernanke Not To Try To Fix Economy

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke with his unenviable job of trying to save the crumbling American economy with interest rate tweaks is sort of like a firefighter standing before a Texas wildfire who gets to shoot at it with a...

Virginia Confederacy Annoyed By Gay Flag At Richmond Federal Reserve

Deep in the confederate stronghold of Richmond, Virginia, there's something mighty queer afoot: The Federal Reserve building in Richmond has a homosexual rainbow flag fluttering beneath the American flag. Why? Apparently it's National Gay and Lesbian and BLT Month,...

Federal Reserve Forces Official Bank of Jesus To Cancel Christmas

A small-town bank in Oklahoma is under siege by governmental secularizing forces this holiday season, as the Federal Reserve is very jealous of their impressive Jesus-themed bank and wants to ruin it for everyone. According to a local teevee...

Fed Prints $110 Billion Worth of Screwy Hundred Dollar Bills

America's fancy new hundred dollar bills are apparently so hard to actually print that the Federal Reserve has quarantined more than a billion of the new Benjamins within "special vaults" in Fort Worth and D.C. The screwed-up moneys are...

Ron Paul Wants To Know How Much Gold the U.S. Has RIGHT NOW

Ron Paul, like a grizzled cartoon prospector, is constantly jumping up and down and shrieking about gold. Now he needs to know how much of it the U.S. has IN ITS POSSESSION right NOW. How worried is he? He...

Bernanke Fears Mean Politicians Will Make Him Do Stuff He Already Did

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke flew to Japan this week for a tour of that nation's various soiled-panties-dispensing vending machines, but he needed to do something "work-related" so he could deduct the tickets on his taxes, so he ended...

HOW WILL THE FED SURVIVE? Bernie Sanders' amendment to the financial regulatory reform bill which would allow for a one-time GAO audit of the Federal Reserve's lending practices during the financial crisis (GIVE IT ALL AWAY -10,000% INTEREST!) has...