federal reserve
Federal Reserve Thought Housing Crisis Was Funny in 2006
The transcripts for the Federal Reserve’s 2006 meetings were released this week, and with them comes the news that the people in charge thought that the housing crisis was pretty hilarious at the time, and that the biggest problem facing the economy was inflation. That is to say, that the economy was growing too damn [...]
Republican Thugs Warn Ben Bernanke Not To Try To Fix Economy
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke with his unenviable job of trying to save the crumbling American economy with interest rate tweaks is sort of like a firefighter standing before a Texas wildfire who gets to shoot at it with a water pistol while everyone yells at him about the size and type of his water pistol. [...]
Virginia Confederacy Annoyed By Gay Flag At Richmond Federal Reserve
Deep in the confederate stronghold of Richmond, Virginia, there’s something mighty queer afoot: The Federal Reserve building in Richmond has a homosexual rainbow flag fluttering beneath the American flag. Why? Apparently it’s National Gay and Lesbian and BLT Month, and if President Obama wasn’t already minority enough, he is also promoting this celebration of the [...]
Federal Reserve Forces Official Bank of Jesus To Cancel Christmas
A small-town bank in Oklahoma is under siege by governmental secularizing forces this holiday season, as the Federal Reserve is very jealous of their impressive Jesus-themed bank and wants to ruin it for everyone. According to a local teevee news station website, the Fed comes ’round every four years with a list of regulations to [...]
Fed Prints $110 Billion Worth of Screwy Hundred Dollar Bills
America’s fancy new hundred dollar bills are apparently so hard to actually print that the Federal Reserve has quarantined more than a billion of the new Benjamins within “special vaults” in Fort Worth and D.C. The screwed-up moneys are the first to feature the signature of Timothy Geithner, so they’re already morally worthless, but that’s [...]
Bernanke Fears Mean Politicians Will Make Him Do Stuff He Already Did
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke flew to Japan this week for a tour of that nation’s various soiled-panties-dispensing vending machines, but he needed to do something “work-related” so he could deduct the tickets on his taxes, so he ended up stopping by a Tokyo conference on “the future of central banking” and gave a few [...]
HOW WILL THE FED SURVIVE? Bernie Sanders’ amendment to the financial regulatory reform bill which would allow for a one-time GAO audit of the Federal Reserve’s lending practices during the financial crisis (GIVE IT ALL AWAY -10,000% INTEREST!) has passed the Senate, 96-0. It is a much weaker audit bill than the Ron Paul-Alan Grayson [...]
Bank-Owned Senators Will Yell At Bank-Owned Bernanke Today
This morning’s theatrical populist pretend-fest is already underway in the Senate, where Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke is facing his first reconfirmation hearing before very very angry Republicans and Democrats, who have all sorts of “ideas” for the Fed in the future.
Americans Who’ve Heard of ‘The Fed’ Don’t Like It, Because of … Communists?
Hey, a new survey about things people don’t know: Gallup asked some random selection of Americans who haven’t had their phones shut off to rate nine major federal agencies they may or may not have heard about, on the AM radio. The results are … bad news for, let’s see, Ben Bernanke? Sure!
Meanwhile, An Update From The Whatsitcalled… Economies!
Barack Obama ate a hamburger… Sarah Palin got a gun… torture, they’re still going on about that… Sean Hannity is insane… what else today? Oh right, the thing, the thing where goods and services are bought and sold and jobs and money and stuff! Ben Bernanke said optimistic things about it today, albeit with a [...]
Liveblogging Obama’s Latest Economy-Bummer Speech
Whoops you must keep an eye on this frisky new Preznet of ours, because every time you turn your back on him he’s sneaking off to deliver another speech on the economy. So we come to this one in medias res, because that makes it more exciting and suspenseful.
Fed Slashes U.S. Interest Rate To Basically Zero
Wasn’t the Fed supposed to cut rates in half today, from 1 percent to 0.5 percent? Well, that wasn’t good enough, for this failed economy and economic system. So now it’s “near zero,” which means “zero.” Just like Japan tried for years and years, to no effect! The Federal Reserve Bank is now out of [...]
Deflation Kicks In As Americans Become Actively Scared Of Economy
The Federal Reserve this afternoon is expected to cut the fed funds rate from 1% to .5%, a modern record. The government is printing more money than you can shake a stick at, all night, every night, to give to financial companies. This should be an incredibly sexy time to make LOANS. Overnight loans, car [...]
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