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Posts Tagged ‘fear-mongering’

Rick Santorum Will Personally Terrorize America

Monday, July 9th, 2007

Republican loser Rick Santorum has a message for America: He has inside knowledge of GOP “terror attacks” that will terrify Americans into voting for whatever abortionist Republican candidate survives the primaries. The two-term senator told some terror-crazed talk-radio show that the 2008 campaign will bring certain surprises for those expecting some Democrat to flush the White House of Cheney’s Crooks. MORE »


Crappy Concert, Stupid Events Mark Nation’s Saddest July 4th

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

Nothing says “America” like “Tony Danza.” The dumb, talentless star of “Joanie Loves Chachi” is the big attraction at tomorrow’s A Capitol Fourth thing. MORE »


All Aboard the USS Dingbat!

Monday, July 2nd, 2007

 We talk about it all night long, We define our moral ground ... - WonketteDid you miss the vacation experience of a lifetime? You know, the National Review luxury cruise featuring leading neoconservative opinion writers who know the real story about why your daughter will be speaking Spanish while having her abortions under that burqa? Worry not, because UK journalist Johann Hari took the terrible trip and documented it for the New Republic.

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Mike Bloomberg Would Like You Idiots To Get Over Yourselves

Tuesday, June 5th, 2007

321 days without a decapitation! - WonketteWe are pretty close to giving super-billionaire Michael Bloomberg one of our coveted Wonkette Presidential Endorsements because he basically just called all the candidates a bunch of fear-mongering wusses. MORE »


Triumph of the Will: Death Star III

Friday, May 11th, 2007

Dah dah dah, duh dah dah, duh dah dah, DAH DAH DAH DUH DA DAH DUH DA DAH - Wonkette
The ominous figure in black is, obviously, Dick Cheney. MORE »


Secret Service Agents Shoot Each Other At White House

Tuesday, April 17th, 2007

All right, shakedown! - WonketteHey everybody, maybe relax and put down the guns for the afternoon? We’re all a little tense but it’s not really helping America Heal ™ when Secret Service guys are shooting each other outside the White House … um, excuse us, we mean “in a security booth at the southwest gate.” MORE »


Horse Stuck In Mud, NEVER FORGET!

Thursday, April 12th, 2007


Our nation’s readiness and resolve was again put to the test, just moments ago, when a horse got stuck in the mud somewhere. Remember to duct tape your doors and windows … and keep an eye out for potential Arabs.


Bill Richardson Threatens ‘Nuclear 9/11′ & Al Gore’s Life

Wednesday, March 28th, 2007

He's going to find Al Gore and kill him, with Jim Webb's gun - WonketteYou’re not a serious candidate until you start crazy fear-mongering so idiots voters know you’re Tough On Terrorism. That’s why a somewhat likable like Bill Richardson had to ramp up his campaign today by threatening Americans with a “nuclear 9/11.” MORE »


Lieberman & Chertoff Will Bravely Destroy Internet

Thursday, March 15th, 2007

Brains! Brains! - WonketteUndead incompetent Michael Chertoff and vile jackoff Joe Lieberman have boldly joined forces to blow up the Internet — you know, because it’s very likely a sneaky Islamo-Nazi-Grinch will climb through the Series of Tubes and force a burqa over your daughter’s fat ass and then fly an avatar through John Edwards’ virtual headquarters in Second Life.

Get cyber-terrified so we can finally shut down this dangerous Internet, after the jump.

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Nobody Right-Wing Senator Endorses Rudy’s War On Fetuses

Monday, March 12th, 2007

Yep, he's a fraud, too! - WonketteRudy Giuliani wants to be president so he can take away the guns of gay fetuses before aborting the little ones, and a “social conservative” senator has decided to endorse Rudy’s bold campaign. Sadly, nobody has ever heard of the “family values” senator, who was recently sworn in as the senator from … we don’t know, actually. Guam?

Let’s hunt for clues, after the jump.

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