Wonkette

Greetings from Austin, Minnesota — the home of Hormel’s famous SPAM food product, which Hawaiians such as Barack Obama eat a dozen times a day, with caviar. We are very close to St. Paul and our fancy suites, and will be there Sunday morning in time for so many cocktail parties. The question is this: Will anybody from the Republican Party show up? MORE »

The March on Washington is almost here, as are our Patriotic Morning Drinking Plans. But did you know it’s kind of scary to come to a place like D.C., especially to the touristy National Mall which crawls with Park Service police night and day, and is only visited by other white people tourists on summer weekends? Join us for a children’s treasury of “I am worried there might be scary snakes” Paultard travel-tip forum posts. MORE »

Here is a picture of the rare 6-way split screen — nothing short of more TERROR FROM THE SKIES IN NYC can bring this one about. Should a genuine terrorist attack occur, expect to see 12, possibly 13 seperate screens on your tv. MORE »

Logo courtesy CBS and the AP, and we’re only crediting them out of the hope that they’ll feel a little embarrassment. MORE »

Our gadget-obsessed sibling brings us this news: MORE »

KidsPost answers kids’ questions on the Bird Flu: MORE »

This just in, from a Capitol Hill operative: MORE »

Just a few minutes ago, a tipster emailed us: MORE »

This just in: MORE »

* The fellow behind the “suspicious package” incident at the White House today is a French guy. Figures. [WP] MORE »