fbi
2009 FBI Training Manual: ‘Muslims Are Weird and Not Like Us’
As recently as 2009, the FBI skkkool trained its new recruits about Islam with a little presentation titled “Things to use/consider for successful interviews/interrogations with individuals from the M.E. (Middle East).” Here’s a little pop quiz with the answers from the presentation. Q: What is “Muslim 101″ information about Muslims? A: Islam “transforms a country’s [...]
Florida Now So Corrupt FBI Taking Out Newspaper Ads Seeking Tips
America’s favorite swamp-gas-filled purgatory, the state of Florida, is now so corrupt that the FBI is taking out ads calling on citizens to report all of their dishonest politicians. Florida is the number one state in corruption, with over 800 politicians arrested between 1997 and 2007. Oh hey, isn’t the year 2000 somewhere between those [...]
Christine O’Donnell’s Lawyer Will ‘Fix’ Campaign Docs To Please FBI Aurors
Christine O’Donnell’s lawyer has told the FEC that she will be going through O’Donnell’s campaign spending records to “fix” things. So the FBI really doesn’t even need to investigate her, because all of the money spent on her daily stock of Lean Cuisines will suddenly be moved under some innocuous-sounding part of the records. Everything [...]
Christine O’Donnell: FBI Is Under Spell of Evil Warlock Joe Biden
Christine O’Donnell has put out a press release about her investigation by the FBI for misuse of her campaign funds, spent on personal expenses and a hovel-condo where she cooked lost children, presumably. Somehow, the press has not taken this statement and immediately reprinted the important facts it has brought to light. “So given that [...]
Republicans Do Not Care For 9/11 Welfare Queens (First Responders)
Senate Republicans crashed their filibuster airplanes into legislation that would “monitor and treat first responders and emergency workers who suffered illnesses related to 9/11,” causing the bill to collapse into its own footprint, never forget. So next time you see a firetruck with a Made in China American flag waving so proudly with 9/11 remembrance, [...]
Happy John Lennon Day! (The FBI Is Probably Still Investigating Him)
This is the anniversary of John Lennon being murdered by some creep, and it follows not so far behind what would’ve been Lennon’s 70th birthday — ha ha, and 70 doesn’t feel that old anymore, to us! (Nor does 40, which was Lennon’s age when he was gunned down outside his apartment, while signing stuff [...]
American Muslims Now Just Assume Any Extremist Is a Harmless FBI Agent
America loves fighting terrorists so much, it likes to create as many as it can so it can keep on fighting. And that is annoying American Muslims, who cannot go about their day worshipping God without being annoyed by at least one FBI agent trying to lure them into joining jihad. One such agent, Craig [...]
Marine Maniac Still Shooting At Anything Near DC Related To Marines
Are you headed to Washington for the big comedy rally we are having in lieu of possessing any grand ambition, moral beliefs or personal dignity? Hooray, hope you like Sheryl Crow a lot! Also: Hope you don’t get shot by the armed & dangerous lunatic firing on anything he thinks is a U.S. Marine or [...]
Almost Dozens of People Protest FBI War Against Anti-War Activists
All the Real Americans were busy watching their reality teevee sitcoms. (Besides, what is “war” or “the FBI spying on anti-war activists”? Bad reality teevee, that’s all.) Anyway: About 35 people rallied outside the federal courthouse in Raleigh, N.C., on Tuesday to protest an FBI probe of anti-war activists. Ha ha, “that’ll show ‘em.” Okay [...]
Americans Are Still Homeless and Poor
Home foreclosures are up 25 percent, which is probably why everyone is just getting so high. More than 2.3 million homes have been repossessed by lenders since the Greatest Recession began three years ago. And what has Obama done to help Real Americans keep their trailer-homes, since obviously he is to blame for everything bad [...]
Recession Drags On & Crime Keeps Falling, Because America Is Too Fat
For the third straight year, even as the Great Recession pummels ever more people into poverty, the national crime rate has dropped. Murder, rape, burglary — almost every kind of criminality has fallen, with the rate of violent crime and property crime dropping by another 5% in 2009. Since 1991, the United States has seen [...]
FBI SOLVES ALL CRIMES, WILL NOW DEDICATE ITSELF TO HASSLING DORKS ON WEBSITES: Have you ever visited Wikipedia’s article about the FBI, seen the FBI logo, and worried that a little man inside your computer is flashing a badge at you, and is about to send you to jail? Well, the Bureau has your back, [...]
Dick Cheney Endorses Marco Rubio, Grunts At Charlie Crist
Proving once again that Dick Cheney only likes gay people if their last name is “Cheney,” the evil heart monster emerged from his Northern Virginia abattoir today to endorse Floridian wingnut Marco Rubio’s Senate primary run against Republican Charlie Crist. The Rubio-Teabagger campaign released a statement from Cheney calling Crist — again, the Republican governor [...]
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FBI Raids Computers of Koch-Monster Scott Walker’s Henchwoman
by Ken Layne
Another of Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s propagandists on the public payroll had her home and computers raided by the FBI and state police, on Wednesday. The “former top aide,” Cynthia A. Archer, is currently on “paid sick leave” but had been the deputy chief of Walker’s comically corrupt administration. What did all the G-men want [...]