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Posts Tagged ‘fbi’

Everything’s Just a Lame Online Diversion These Days, Including the ‘New Deep Throat’

Wednesday, August 1st, 2007

In the Watergate era, “Deep Throat” was supposedly a government insider who met Bob Woodward in a parking garage and moodily smoked cigarettes while wearing a trench coat. The fact that Woodward himself was a government spook recently transferred from Naval Intelligence to the Washington Post newsroom led many to assume “Deep Throat” was a group of CIA bigshots nervous about the Nixon Administration turning the nation into a dictatorship, or something. Anyway, Nixon finally gave up for the sake of the country and everybody won Academy Awards for “All the President’s Men” and Henry Kissinger is still at large. MORE »


Ha Ha, Ted Stevens Is So Screwed

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

Prison is also a series of tubes. - WonketteNobody could find Ted Stevens at the Capitol today because he kept disappearing whenever they caught a glimpse of him, but CNN’s Dana Bash chased him down a stairwell or something and this is the hilarious transcript of the videotaped interview, which we’ll try to find for you later. Or just watch CNN; they’ll repeat it soon. MORE »


Ted Stevens’ Seussian House Raided by FBI, IRS

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

As the longest-serving Republican Senator ever, Ted Stevens has obviously committed enough crime to make Dutch Schultz blush. He’s less ostentatious than your Duke Cunninghams and less perverted than all those under-70 whippersnappers who keep fucking whores and little boys, though, so we never thought we’d see him go down in our lifetime. Which means it’s a pleasant surprise to see the FBI and IRS raiding his huge ski resort home. MORE »


Monday, July 30th, 2007

Hey, the IRS and the FBI are raiding Ted Stevens’ house! [KTVA]


If It’s Tuesday, There’s Verifiable Proof of Gonzo Lying

Tuesday, July 10th, 2007

On April 27, 2005, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales told the Senate intelligence committee that there hadn’t been a single case of the FBI violating civil liberties since the establishment of the Patriot Act. Naturally, this means that there had been at last six reports of “legal or procedural violations” that Gonzales had personally received. MORE »


Fox Mulder Named Interim FBI Director

Thursday, June 14th, 2007

Checking In With Drunken Crook Jim Gibbons

Friday, May 11th, 2007

Feds Nix Dix Six

Tuesday, May 8th, 2007

SPARTAAAAAA - WonketteThe FBI has successfully broken up yet another fiendish terrorist plot on American soil. These brave defenders of freedom have once again ensured that Americans can rest easy, safe from the threat of a couple guys buying some guns and trying to… take over an Army base??? MORE »


The Following Congressmen Will All Be in Jail By the End of the Term

Tuesday, April 24th, 2007

Today’s Politico features a list of congress members currently under investigation for various complicated crimes. In order to help you understand how much trouble these members may be in, we’ve summarized the key facts about each of their cases, after the jump.

MORE »


If You Are a Republican Congressman, the FBI Would Like a Word With You

Friday, April 20th, 2007

This guy -- guilty guilty guilty! - WonketteRick Renzi, who was once Jack Abramoff for a couple minutes (and whose finest moment is still this) joined fellow Congressman John Doolittle in the “my shit got raided” club yesterday. MORE »


Doolittle Raid Causes Journalists to Fall Into Hole in Time-Space Continuum

Wednesday, April 18th, 2007

Like father, like son? Think about it. - WonketteHey, John Doolittle’s house was raided by the FBI last Friday! As usual, the gears of justice have turned quickly and decisively in dealing with the crooked lawmakers who enabled Jack Abramoff. MORE »


Happy MLK Assassination Day!

Wednesday, April 4th, 2007

Well, somebody was sure happy about this. - WonketteAs Bono taught us, wrongly, Martin Luther King was assassinated in the “early morning, April 4″ of 1968 — 39 years ago today. (It was actually 6:01 p.m. There was no Wikipedia back then, so at least he got the date right.) Today is the real Martin Luther King Day. MORE »


Daily Briefing: Delivery Of The Sphere

Monday, April 2nd, 2007

* Democrats going to the mat with White House over “encroachments on privacy and civil liberties.” [WP, WSJ]
* Hillary Clinton is the undisputed world heavy weight champion of getting paid. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Al-Qaida just as good as new. [NYT]
* Hopefully Tommy Thompson is in Iowa for his health. [WP, NYT]
* Recording interviews with suspects is a “non-starter” with the FBI. Illegal use of surveillance and bungling of cases still fine, obv. [NYT]
* Nevada governor Jim Gibbons is “a fast-motion train wreck.” [WP]
* President Bush will not be throwing out the first pitch at the Nationals home opener this afternoon as both the team and the White House worry about being associated with such a loser. [WP]


Daily Briefing: These Colors Run

Wednesday, March 28th, 2007

* Senate sounds “the bugle of retreat” by setting “the date certain for surrender” and “mandating failure.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Tony Snow isn’t as much of a man as Elizabeth Edwards. [WP, WP, NYT, LAT]
* More like Federal Bureau of Incompetence. [WP, NYT]
* Driven mad with power, Barbara Boxer tries to revive a 1923 equal rights amendment. [WP]
* It sucks to be Dennis Hastert right now. [NYT]
* Military not a fan of the internet, wants l33t hax0rs to shut down terrorist sites. [USAT]
* It’s not just the American people, even other tyrannical world leaders are sick of President Bush. [WP]