Tag Archives: faux outrage

  yeah yeah we know

Ghost Breitbart Exposes Clay Aiken’s Record Of Threatening To Punch Ann Coulter In The Face

We learn all sorts of interesting things by reading Dead Breitbart’s Newshole for Scabies-Blighted Ragemonkeys, like for instance that minor congressional candidate and former American Idolater Clay Aiken is liberals’ “favorite congressional candidate in North Carolina,” which we have to admit is a pretty small population to start with. Breitbart horcrux John Nolte advises us that diligent Citizen Journalist “SooperMexican” has posted a reminder that back in 2012, Aiken tweeted a mean thing, and then deleted the tweet to hide his shame. Here is the unspeakable thing that Aiken tweeted: “anyone else watching @piersmorgan want to punch Ann Coulter in the face?” Instead of following that with “Honestly, doesn’t everyone? But one must be civilized,” the Breitbartian goes on to condemn the Democrats’ “war on women” blahblahblah. Because, you see, Democrats are all hypocrites who secretly want to beat women senseless! Read more on Ghost Breitbart Exposes Clay Aiken’s Record Of Threatening To Punch Ann Coulter In The Face…
  drugs are bad mmmkay?

Breaking Bad Legos-Not-Legos Toyset Greatly Outrages Perennially Outraged Daily Mail

What is with the Brits these days? Seems like all they do is get outraged with America now, whether it’s our ????? in Syria, or some toy based on our teevee shows — like this newest example of most amazing unlicensed awesomeness, a fake-lego set awesomely called “Bricking Bad” that is inspiring “outrage” (on twitter!) for concern troll Daily Mail: Children can now build their own drug dens with a shocking new play kit inspired by TV show Breaking Bad. The sell-out £160 kit, branded ‘SuperLab’, lets any child or adult recreate Walter White’s notorious crystal meth lab. Complete with protective masks, drug paraphernalia, figurines and a version of the car from the show, infants can even reenact scenes from the series. The toy looks similar to a classic Lego set, although it is not connected to the Danish company in any way and was made by a separate firm. Erm, no. Infants should not play with any kind of Legos, Daily Mail, not even fake-Lego meth labs, because, choking hazard. And not just any child or adult can do this, as this thing costs £160, which is like, a million American dollars and we are having a hard time feeding our kids lunch. This set is obviously for grown ups who like to play with toys and we have some toys we like very much that we would also not let our children play with, so back up off of us. Read more on Breaking Bad Legos-Not-Legos Toyset Greatly Outrages Perennially Outraged Daily Mail…
  A Wingnut Of Mars

Spite-Generated Harpy Michelle Malkin Has Thoughts On NASA, Science, Forced Abortions Probably

Nerds everywhere are celebrating last night’s successful landing of NASA’s “Curiosity” rover, breathing a sigh of relief, glorying in the awesome technological achievement, and giddily anticipating that some JPL engineers will almost certainly get laid. But hold on just a damn minute, here: rage-based nonsequitur generator Michelle Malkin would just like to remind all you liberals that you are not allowed to be happy about this. For one thing, she’ll have you know that Barack Obama, the wildly free-spending socialist who just can’t stop spending taxpayers’ dollars on everything, actually proposed a $300 million cut to NASA’s budget, probably so he could spend it on abortions for hippies on welfare. It was so horrible that planetary scientists were drivent to holding bake sales to raise money. For another thing, something-something-something HYPOCRISY!!! Read more on Spite-Generated Harpy Michelle Malkin Has Thoughts On NASA, Science, Forced Abortions Probably…
  citizens just cause trouble

Obama Installs Consumer Chief, Officially Makes Citizens ‘Consumers’

Citing a pressing need to legally redefine Americans as “consumers” before they get any other big ideas, President Obama today appointed his choice to lead the new Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. The appointment bypassed the Senate, because the Republican minority there won’t allow anything but tax cuts for the rich and new War Contracts. The Senate has not officially adjourned since last year, because the GOP won’t allow that, either. So the procedural fake outrage today is about the president’s authority to make recess appointments, even though Obama is appointing someone with “bipartisan support” who has been waiting for a year to go to work. What that work will entail, however, is the formal conversion of U.S. citizens to “consumers.” Considering how quickly the rights of human citizens are being signed away by this president, perhaps it is a good thing that the American people are getting a new designation! Read more on Obama Installs Consumer Chief, Officially Makes Citizens ‘Consumers’…
  internecine warfare

Rush Limbaugh Has Balls Of Steele

A ha ha ha, we had to do a Google search to make sure nobody had put that crack in a headline yet. So anyway yes, Michael Steele spoke ill of Rush Limbaugh on late-night television, and then Rush Limbaugh said mean things about Michael Steele on the radio, and then Steele had to apologize because Rush Limbaugh makes a gazillion dollars a year putting cigars in his face and pontificating on the radio whereas Michael Steele is just some loser from Maryland. Read more on Rush Limbaugh Has Balls Of Steele…