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Posts Tagged ‘fatties’

Mike Huckabee Writes Whiny Book About How Awful Everyone Else Is

Monday, November 17th, 2008

Mike Huckabee was just another fat wingnut Southern emperor until, however many years ago, he realized that he was going to die from the Fat Cancer. He freaked and lost an actual 4,500 pounds and wrote a book about how he became un-fat. It was a success because, for some reason, illiterate people will buy books about such mysterious weight-loss techniques as diet and exercise. This gave him an “in” to run for president; he did better than expected but still lost to Walnuts. But… but now he has another book coming out! It’s about how terrible the Republican party is — you know, his frighteningly unpopular political party! He whines about everyone but throws in a few good words for Cher. MORE »


Rudy Wins 3rd Quarter Cash Battle, “Who Can Say 9/11 the Most” Competition

Friday, October 5th, 2007

moneytrain.jpgRudy Giuliani raised more money than all the other Republicans in the third quarter, which means he now has a zillion dollars less than Hillary Clinton and Barry Hussein. Oh, and John McCain raised $6 million. Good for him! The former front-runner and presumptive nominee raised $1 million more dollars than hilarious nutcase Ron Paul! Clearly McCain should spend less time on his bus to nowhere and more time rigging online polls. MORE »


Cruisy Toilets Go Mainstream

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007


This isn’t your usual Larry Craig satirical bathroom goblin cash-for-furry-fucking YouTube gag. This particular video is an actual political advertisement currently showing on Minneapolis television stations. The political cause, obviously, is childhood obesity and lobbying by grease-snack conglomerates. Never forget September the Twenty-Sixth, the day when closeted gay politicians trying to get cock in a public restroom became mainstream fodder for local teevee political ads about children’s health.

A spoof that could be a little wide of the mark [Star-Tribune]


Love Is Like a Cigarette

Thursday, June 21st, 2007

* “Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable to run and have your wing-wang flopping around in the breeze?” [Lemon Gloria]
* Excuse me, you’re in my bubble. [EJ Takes Life]
* Cigarette tax? Why not a weight tax? “We can use that money we raise from your love handles to provide health insurance for orphans.” [Yellow is the Color...]
* “Do these people think it makes them seem more important, more in demand to take a call between the appetizer and the main course while their friends are literally put on hold?” [Looking2Life]
* Thanks, Caps Nut! Now we can all cringe together at the new Capitals jersey. [Bleatings From a Caps Nut]