fat people

Hey there, you might want to put down your Fritos for a second, because this is gross: In 2005, “being obese or overweight caused an estimated 216,000 deaths from heart disease, diabetes and other conditions, researchers estimated, while another 191,000 deaths resulted from being physically inactive.” Do you hear that? If you sit on your […]

By now, we are all aware of Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move!” initiative, the thing where government officials sneak into your children’s bedrooms in the middle of the night and steal the donuts from under their pillows, leaving behind a combination of debt and misery. But what we didn’t know about was our FLOTUS’ top secret […]

Sarah Palin’s “Alaska” is already gearing up to dismantle all the unions, forever. But what could make this embarrassing ice colony even more American? Probably a law that would prevent Muslims from honor-killing all the delicate white women, legally, in Alaska court! And hooray, this is exactly what some wingnut state representative wants, and he’s […]

“Wanta dah moolee-rah, Han Solo,” the Hutt said. Meanwhile, while you are transfixed by the thought of take a magic sex bus journey into those undulating folds, Chris Christie is telling lies so he too can screw the union workers of his state.

Hey, Rush Limbaugh is a person who is still alive, at the moment! He says Michelle Obama is fat. “I’m trying to say that our First Lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, or of a woman Alex Rodriguez might date […]

Scooter crime: Michigan edition. Investigators said Perkins was attempting to leave the Rochester Road Meijer with more than $600 worth of stolen electronic merchandise when her cart got stuck and she was unable to drive out the door. [...] Perkins — approximately 5 foot 2 and 400 pounds — shoved a loss prevention officer and […]

Last week, our fabulous FLOTUS Michelle Obama sent out a friendly e-mail to all of her gal pals announcing that the Democrats will be having their 2012 convention in Charlotte, North Carolina. Michelle apparently loves Charlotte, because of its southern “charm,” which is the polite way to describe a southern state when you don’t want […]

Close your eyes and imagine that you are drowning in a giant ocean of human belly fat. Does this image make you unhappy? Too bad, according to scientists who say that we are all going to die in a terrible man-made lard storm. The entire world is facing a pandemic of cardiovascular disease, mostly because […]

Just eat less?: News alert: Because we are a nation of fat slobs, our government would like us to drink less sugar filled poison and stop eating spoonfuls of nitrates, lard and cat litter, even if it tastes good.  Which in D.C. translates to, maybe only have bacon covered donuts once a month? The superb […]

Here is an interesting article about fat, old, fat old people and the brave new world of Scooter Law. “We’re going to see more and more people riding around in scooters and wheelchairs,” said Mike Moran, the executive editor of a leading home medical equipment trade publication, “because we’re going to see more and more […]

This time it’s a BRAZILIAN activist judge legislating from the bench: A Brazilian court ruled this week that McDonald’s must pay a former franchise manager $17,500 because he gained 65 pounds while working there for a dozen years. The 32-year-old man said he felt forced to sample the food each day to ensure quality standards […]

A policeman punched a teen-aged girl directly in the face — something new for your police brutality YouTube Playlist. [Hit & Run] Nikki Haley overflows with the spirit of Jesus. Then there is evil Gresham Barrett, who is the anti-Christ and moonlights as an abortion clinic. [RedState] Alan Dershowitz warned Jan Schakowsky what would happen […]

DISSES  1:16 pm October 12, 2009

by Juli Weiner

JON CORZINE IS TAKING “NEW JERSEY” SO LITERALLY: “Asked directly if he thought [Chris] Christie was fat, Corzine touched his bare head, smiled and said, ‘Am I bald?’” By default Jon Corzine is now automatically governor of eighth grade and certain parts of the South Shore of Long Island. [Ben Smith]

Oh, how we are looking forward to the midterm elections! They’re the most fun: dozens of close races where we couldn’t care less about who wins, each defined by some hilarious racist remark or decades-old hotel affair or nutty family member. OR — as is the case in this rare 2009 election, for New Jersey […]

With two-thirds of the nation officially fat and $150 billion spent annually on easily preventable health problems caused specifically by obesity, you might think Health Care Reform — any of the hundred versions — would start with “Do not suffocate yourself with fat.” Never mind the expensive cancer screenings that may or may not make […]