Wonkette

The fattest people in the world got even fatter this year, as the obesity rate kept rising in 37 states and didn’t decline in the other 13 states. Mississippi, West Virginia and Alabama won the triple crown of fat-assery, surprising nobody, while Michigan was the only state in the Top Ten of Fat that’s not in the South, which also surprised nobody. Now let’s see how the Democratic Convention and Barack Obama’s vacation birthplace rate! MORE »

Last week we discovered the website “Boycott McDonald’s,” an American Family Association initiative that criticizes McDonald’s for one time giving some gay thing $20,000 to make an ad or whatever BACKING THE FULL GAY AGENDA. We showed a litany of samples from the site’s comment section, and it was very popular, so now we are going to post more funny comments from it. At least 8 of the top 10 funniest things on the Internet are comments from this website. MORE »

It’s summertime and the living is terrible.

Would you enjoy a Top Ten List of all the apocalyptic current events proving this is the End of America and probably The World? We thought you’d like that, you elitist doom-porn scumsacks. MORE »

* Hate crime legislation makes Jesus cry. [Traditional Values Coalition via Pandagon]
* Mike Huckabee’s son busted for carrying a handgun and at least 50 extra pounds through the Little Rock airport. [Radar]
* Iraqi government spokesman Dan Bartlett not happy about the timeline bill. [The Left Coaster]
* And neither is Joe “I Hold Harry Reid’s Life In My Hands” Lieberman. [GOP Bloggers]
* Paul Begala is so fucking pissed at that “gasbag” David Broder. [HuffPo]
* Sam Brownback’s in the closet … on immigration. [Hit & Run] MORE »

* Senators refuse to confirm George Casey as Army chief until he tells them where he gets the good happy drugs. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* The “unpleasant but very detailed” 90-page National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq goes to Congress. The 2 pages you’re allowed to see will be podcasted. [WP]
* If you give money to poor people you have to give it to rich people too, this is America, everything has to be equal. [WP, NYT]
* Yes, the Senate is still talking about their, “Mr. President, don’t send more Americans into the middle of civil war!” resolution, letter, email whatever. [NYT]
* Only the brain-dead pay the death tax. [WSJ]
* New Iraq “casualty” count only reflects soldiers who were shot at, not who shoot themselves. [NYT]
* United Nations to world: Global warming, it’s real. [LAT]
* President Bush to nation: no fatties. [WP]

* Which President has spent the most time talking about Pearl Harbor? Hint: It’s not Franklin Roosevelt. [Lawyers, Guns and Money]
* Buy two regular price blowjobs from DC hookers and they’ll keep your secret for free. [TPM Muckraker]
* President Bush wants a cookie for some shit he was supposed to do anyway. [Hotline on Call]
* DHS program that assigns “secret terrorist ratings to millions of U.S. citizens,” gets highest possible “Five Kafkas” for its scary PoMo essence. [Computerworld, The Heretik]
* Walnuts McCain hires a communications director even Wal-Mart thinks is too evil. [Election Central]
* Some people just have to be first: “Top Ten Funniest Political Moments of 2006.” [Extreme Mortman]
* On Oscar night, pay close attention to the size of Al Gore’s ass — that’s how you’ll know if he’s running in ‘08. [SFGate]

• Reliable Source: Rep. Jim Moran lost 46 pounds and won reelection… The Ritz-Carlton has created a drink for our departing SecDef: The “Rum Rummy Rum,” made from three ounces rum, one ounce Grand Marnier, sour mix, ginger ale, and psychopathy. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: No one got any sleep Tuesday night. Chuck Todd stayed up all night — dude, hook us up… Democrats also now best golfers on the Hill… Pat Buchanan regaled Nathans with the story of being duped by Ali G. [Examiner]

Time for your weekly look at the life of leisure that is a gig on Capitol Hill. This week, your questions were all indicative of creepy anti-social tendencies and our Anonymous Hill Staffer’s answers were all sorta mean. You guys were meant for one another.

After the jump: competitive eating, pornography, intern ass, and the Secret Service. You know, typical fare.

MORE »