Tag Archives: fat jokes

  big issues

Is Monstrously Obese Chris Christie Even Too Fat For Republican Voters?

Republicans are a large bunch, if you get what we mean. When Teabaggers sit around the house, they literally sit around the 3,800-square-foot foreclosed tract house, in Florida. The latest advances in physics are repeatedly tested by the makers of Hoverounds and Rascals, as the wee scooters are expected to carry ever heavier loads. So there hasn’t been a lot of political speculation regarding the Jabba the Hutt-esque physique of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. After all, if two-thirds of Americans are already overweight or obese, then it would seem Christie has a huge built-in constituency. But in an effort to avoid writing about the Wall Street protests now spreading across the nation like a Sam’s Club 12-pack of Velveeta on a Family Size sack of Tostitos in the microwave, the nation’s pundits finally had to “go there” and write about how Chris Christie is too fucking fat to be president, because he’s about to fall over and die, due to fatness. Read more on Is Monstrously Obese Chris Christie Even Too Fat For Republican Voters?…
 

Ted Kennedy’s Ass Cushion

According to today’s Yeas and Nays, Senator Ted Kennedy carries around his own ass-pillow — emblazoned with his name and the great seal of the US — just in case. Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass., brings his own upholstery with him. At least, he did yesterday for his lunchtime address at the National Press Club. A Kennedy aide brought along a needlepoint pillow, emblazoned with Kennedy’s name and the Great Seal of the United States. A source tells us he often brings it with him “in case the chairs are hard.” Read more on Ted Kennedy’s Ass Cushion…
 

Cartoon Violence Watches O’er The Ramparts

Today’s Cartoons aren’t gonna mercilessly mock themselves. No, that’s why every Friday we invite respected cartoon expert the Comics Curmudgeon over for a barbecue — well, to make fun of cartoons and to burn flags. Just because we can. In this very special patriotism-choked edition of Cartoon Violence, we celebrate our nation’s independence by mocking its weight and its iconic historical, mythic, and pop cultural figures. Fun in the sun, after the jump. Read more on Cartoon Violence Watches O’er The Ramparts…