Tag Archives: fast food

  Want some fries with that burn?

McDonald’s Has New Secret Cure For Severe Burns (It Is Mustard)

mustard is my fav burn remedy
Working at McDonald’s has probably never been high on your list of fun things to do, although maybe you’ve done it in order to earn some cash, and that can be a good thing. But fast food restaurants don’t typically fall all over themselves to treat their workers well, and workers sometimes try to form unions, and strike for a higher minimum wage and safer working conditions. And occasionally, workers even expect to be treated at least as well as you would treat your dog when they get injured on the job, because workers are so demanding that way. On Monday, a group of low-wage fast food workers who were definitely not having any job fun filed 28 complaints with the U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA), alleging that “understaffing and time pressures in stores have led to burns, falls and other injuries.” The complaints were filed with the backing of Fight for $15, a union group that fights for a higher minimum wage and unionization in the fast food industry. Read more on McDonald’s Has New Secret Cure For Severe Burns (It Is Mustard)…
  Now Performing On The Carrageenan Stage...

Struggling Mom And Pop Business ‘McDonald’s’ To Pay SXSW Performers In ‘Exposure’

Suddenly that gas price no longer indicates how old this photo is!
You sort of have to admire the corporate overlords at McDonald’s (no you don’t) for their capacity to act like evil geniuses — for their great big sponsored pavilion at the annual SXSW music and film fest in Austin, they’ve invited a whole bunch of bands to play, paying the performers only in “exposure.” Looks like they’ve learned a thing or two from the world of blogging! Read more on Struggling Mom And Pop Business ‘McDonald’s’ To Pay SXSW Performers In ‘Exposure’…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments: We Were Very Mean To Barack Obama And Those Girl Scouts And We Should Feel Bad

Dear Editor: I have had it up to here with playing second fiddle to a bunch of stupid marshmallow horses...
Beyond all the half-priced candy, one thing we like about going to the store after Christmas is the sudden arrival of pallets of storage supplies — it holds out the hope that if you just buy the right plastic bins, you’ll be free of all the clutter that’s built up during the year. And so we bring you our own efforts at cleaning out the muck: A bunch of detritus from the comments queue, which we now won’t have to think about any more. Let’s start with some people we have upset with our unwarranted cruelty. For some reason, our piece on Barack Obama wearing a tiara while taking a photo with some girl scouts rubbed a few people the wrong way, perhaps because we said wearing a tiara betrayed Barack Hussein Obama’s desire for absolute power. “Thea” took us to task for being so mean to a decent, honorable man: Read more on Deleted Comments: We Were Very Mean To Barack Obama And Those Girl Scouts And We Should Feel Bad…
  Sudo Make Me A Sandwich

Jimmy Johns Is Evil. We Mean More Evil.

Oh, there's that, too.
Nobody’s especially surprised to learn that working fast food is, at most places, pretty freaking awful. Low wages, no job security, no benefits, not enough hours, no union, terrible bosses, and all the job satisfaction of working a food assembly line, plus smelling like the fryer when you get home. But at least if you can find a better offer, you can move on, in accord with the best tenets of capitalism. Read more on Jimmy Johns Is Evil. We Mean More Evil….
  run away! run away!

Philosophy Professor On Dealing With Open-Carry Advocates: Don’t Be Here Now

He was all about the killin'
We have a brand new social-media nerdcrush, and it’s for Jack Russell Weinstein, professor of philosophy and director of the Institute for Philosophy in Public Life at the University of North Dakota. He wrote a couple of blog posts about how, from a philosophical standpoint, people may want to respond to the presence of “open carry” advocates who come into a restaurant to show everyone how wonderful guns are. His answer? “It is rational to be afraid of someone with a weapon, especially if you know nothing about them.” And therefore, one appropriate response would be to remove yourself from the restaurant as quickly as possible, even without paying first, if necessary. Needless to say, he is not popular with the open carry crowd. And now he’s got a couple of videos, because philosophy is for everyone, even YouTube commenters. Read more on Philosophy Professor On Dealing With Open-Carry Advocates: Don’t Be Here Now…
  eviscerate the proletariat!

Conservatives Turn Out In Support Of Poor Beleaguered Rapacious Fast Food Corporations

Over at Michelle Malkin’s Twitter Dump for Adderall Deficient Jackanapes, the wingnuts are having a giant happy because fast food workers across the nation are striking for a living wage, which gives the knuckle-dragging cholesterol bombs of the right an excuse (as if they needed one) to patronize every McDonalds and Hardees from sea to shining sea for every meal they eat today. Because the hell with Big Labor thugs or fast food employees not having to sell their bodily organs to pay the bills! Workers are demanding a minimum wage of $15, which doesn’t sound so unreasonable to us, but we’re giant Marxists who think people should not have to work two jobs just to afford the rent on a single room in one of those long-term occupancy hotels where the front-desk clerk sits behind bulletproof glass. Obviously this might impinge on your average Mickey D’s ability to run its Dollar Menu promotion on the regular, so you wingnuts will just have to pay a little more for the privilege of gobbling those artery-clogging Big Macs when you take your spouses out for Date Night. Cry us a fucking river. Read more on Conservatives Turn Out In Support Of Poor Beleaguered Rapacious Fast Food Corporations…
  have you considered trying breatharianism?

McDonalds’ Holiday Advice For Workers: Maybe You Could Sell Your Second Kidney?

America’s purveyors of Anus Burgers aren’t really all that big on the idea of paying a fair wage to their employees, but it’s nice to know that they’re at least willing to help them eat their bootstraps and mooch off the gummint. In yet another inspirational example of a fast food giant “helping” its employees, the “McResource line” from McDonalds has some helpful McAdvice for its McSerfs: if they’re “digging out from holiday debt,” maybe they should give some thought to cutting down on the burdensome material possessions that are just interfering with their spiritual journey to Nirvana anyway: “Selling some of your unwanted possessions on eBay or Craigslist could bring in some quick cash.” Even better, maybe they could stave off those hunger pangs by faking out their stupid brains, at least until they can become leeches: Elsewhere on the site, McDonald’s encourages its employees to break apart food when they eat meals, as “breaking food into pieces often results in eating less and still feeling full.” And if they are struggling to stock their shelves with food in the first place, the company offers assistance for workers applying for food stamps. Or at least, a couple days ago they were advising employees to try selling their unnecessary belongings… after ThinkProgress reported on the “Digging Out From Holiday Debt” tips, McDonalds pulled the webpage; a PR person explained that “Some of the content has been reviewed and changes were made where appropriate … We’ll continue to do that periodically.” You know, like, whenever we get caught. Read more on McDonalds’ Holiday Advice For Workers: Maybe You Could Sell Your Second Kidney?…
  sesame seed buns and roses

Striking Fast Food Workers Hope To Be Treated As Well As Lab Animals Someday

OK, so here’s a video that you really DO want to see — and we PROMISE there’s no Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh or even My Little Ponies hidden in there — just a short clip from a TED talk by researcher Frans de Waal. And it’s not even one of those awful earnest social-media-will-save-the dolphins TED talks. We provide this clip by way of saying that if capuchin monkeys reject wage inequality, there’s also probably a case to be made for our fellow primates as well, don’t you think? Which brings us to the actual news story that we aren’t at all just using as an excuse to show you the video: Employees of McDonald’s Corp, Wendy’s Restaurants LLC, Burger King Worldwide Inc and others have pledged to walk off their jobs in 50 cities from Boston, Mass, to Alameda, Calif., organizers say … The workers want to form unions and bargain higher wages with their employers without facing retaliation from franchisees or their parent companies. They are demanding $15 an hour, up from $7.25, which is the current federal minimum wage. Now, we want to make absolutely clear that we are not comparing fast food workers to lab monkeys. We’ve done fast food and restaurant work, and we know full well that restaurant employees are sapient human beings with inalienable rights in a complex late-capitalist technological society, which means they can be convinced and bullied to put up with all sorts of shit that no self-respecting capuchin monkey would tolerate. (On the upside, fast food workers are far less likely to be dissected at the end of the work week.) Read more on Striking Fast Food Workers Hope To Be Treated As Well As Lab Animals Someday…
  quiet rooms

McDonald’s Employee Excited to Be Earning Minimum Wage After 20 Years On the Job

Time is money, you guys, and money is time (as well as speech) which is why this nice McDonald’s worker would have to work for ONE MILLION HOURS to make as much as the McDonald’s CEO did in 2011 alone. The CEO’s time is just that much more valuable, so the Market has put a fair price on his time, because the Market is infallible. Also, if this nice McDonald’s employee wants to make more than minimum wage (which he still earns after 20 years with the company) he should have found a way to make his labor more profitable, and also too, to not look or smell like he works at McDonald’s, because the stink of the proletariat is too disgusting for management to bear. Read more on McDonald’s Employee Excited to Be Earning Minimum Wage After 20 Years On the Job…
  sad that gore vidal missed this

A Children’s Treasury of America’s Pilgrimage to Chick-Fil-A

It is here, finally: Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, the brainchild of weekend cable television host Mike Huckabee and people who read his Facebook diaries. According to most reports, we’re seeing long fast food drive-thru lines across the nation, as Real Americans everywhere (but mostly in Real America) are rushing out of their homes to stick it to the queers and eat chicken sandwiches. Never before has the Obamacare individual mandate seemed so necessary. Let’s take a tour of some photos on the Twitter, of fast food lines. Read more on A Children’s Treasury of America’s Pilgrimage to Chick-Fil-A…
  chicken blows i suppose

Mike Huckabee Orders You To Stop Criticizing This Anti-Gay Fast Food Chicken Company

The Chick-fil-A company, which produces these salty waffle fries and breaded/fried chickenish sandwiches with two pickles apiece that serve as delicious on-the-go college meals but otherwise just give you hella diabetes, is notoriously owned by a prominent family in the religious social conservative set. Its president last week admitted the company was “guilty as charged” when it comes to supporting marriage as one man, one woman exclusively: “We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives.” Now all of these libtards, from the mayor of Boston to actor Ed Helms to “The Muppets,” have withdrawn their support from Chick-fil-A and intend to participate in boycotts. How glib! This infuriates former/current fat person Mike Huckabee so deeply that he is now calling for the creation of Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, on Facebook. Read more on Mike Huckabee Orders You To Stop Criticizing This Anti-Gay Fast Food Chicken Company…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama Is Weak On Obesity, Nation Keeps Getting Fatter

Hey there, you might want to put down your Fritos for a second, because this is gross: In 2005, “being obese or overweight caused an estimated 216,000 deaths from heart disease, diabetes and other conditions, researchers estimated, while another 191,000 deaths resulted from being physically inactive.” Do you hear that? If you sit on your couch long enough, you will just spontaneously drop dead. Of course, this is the sort of thing our First Lady Michelle Obama has been trying to prevent from happening, through her dance-a-thons and grocery superstores that apparently aren’t getting built. But the obesity epidemic continues, and the kids just keep getting fatter, no matter how many celebrity endorsements the Let’s Move! campaign receives. “But that isn’t enough, say public health leaders frustrated with the slow progress in stemming America’s obesity epidemic. Something more ambitious is needed, they argue — something more like the anti-tobacco movement.” Cue the terrifying obesity PSAs! Read more on Michelle Obama Is Weak On Obesity, Nation Keeps Getting Fatter…
  5'11 all carbon and anusburger

American Hero Eats Sandwich

A special ceremony is planned Tuesday afternoon at McDonald’s in Fond du Lac for Don Gorske. That’s because, since 1972, Gorske has eaten at least two Big Macs a day, which means the 57-year-old will be eating his 25,000th Big Mac on the 39th anniversary of eating his first. Read more on American Hero Eats Sandwich…
  or you could eat that

KFC Covertly Jacking Up National Health Care Costs With Terrifying New Monstrosity

You won’t find a word about it on the KFC website, or in most regional advertisements, but out in the mysterious moon colony of Omaha, the televisions are advertising a new sandwich. This is the only footage known to man. Believe it: KFC is selling a sandwich in Omaha, and god knows where else, that serves as a bellwether for the current state and future hopes of America: Two patties of fried chicken as the “bread,” between which are various forms of cheese, two strips of bacon, and “Colonel’s Sauce” — likely a combination of butter, salt, and cum. Read more on KFC Covertly Jacking Up National Health Care Costs With Terrifying New Monstrosity…
  boycott mcdonald's

McDonald’s Boycott An Opposite-Success!

Man, the Fundies sure have shown those queers at McDonald’s what happens when they start pushing the Gay Agenda: “CHICAGO–McDonald’s Corp said Friday that global sales at restaurants open at least 13 months rose 8 percent in July, as the key U.S. market posted its largest gain in five months.” A recession is not really a great time to affect change in the fast food industry with a boycott. Besides, we know all of these fat selfish mouth-breathers have been going to McDonald’s secretly, every day. [Reuters] Read more on McDonald’s Boycott An Opposite-Success!…