Wonkette

Italian fashion designer Gattinoni’s Spring lineup features skirts with bit ol’ two-tone pictures of “influential women.” They’re perfect for diplomatic functions, intensifying hostilities with Iran, and spreading rumors about your sexual orientation, or lack thereof. MORE »

* Bellflur, The Sad Little Stars and The Hidden Ratio at the Black Cat. $8 at 9PM. [Black Cat]
* Fashion designer Kay Unger discusses her career and design aesthetic as well as “what it takes to be a modern woman” at the Corcoran. $25 at 7PM. [Corcoran]
* Shakespeare reading group at Chapters. University of Connecticut Emeritus Professor Arnold Orza leads a discussion of King Lear. Free at 6PM. [Chapters]

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

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Breaking: Washingtonians dress very conservatively! But a radical new group of kuh-razee lady-congresspeople are revolutionizing all that by dressing very slightly less conservatively! MORE »

* Deputy National Security Advisor Elliot Abrams’ eyebrow grooming lets you know where he stands in the War on Christmas. [Firedoglake]
* No fashion trend is completely over until it’s both available at Suburban Outfitters and held in contempt by right-wing blogs. [Atlas Shrugs]
* George F. Will thinks You are a narcissistic blowhard. [Think Progress]
* Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is no longer championing the dispossessed, “Being a global everyman is for suckers.” [Bizzy Blog]
* With Evan Bayh out of the race, John Edwards targets voters determined to vote pretty. [Potomac Flacks]
* Pope Benedict is a gay. [Boozhy]
* Charlie Crist adds the shitstorm that Florida faces after Castro’s death to the list of things he’s in denial about. [St. Petersburg Times]

She may be a loopy Jesus Freak, but people on the Hill have also noticed that Michele Bachmann is also pretty hot. Today, the Minneapolis Star Tribune reveals her beauty secrets: MORE »

* Gertrude Stein Workshop at the Phillips Collection, “this seminar will examine Stein’s poetry and short stories, considering the eccentric qualities of meaning and sound she introduced in her compositions.” $15 at 6PM. [The Phillips Collection]
* Beaujolais Nouveau party at Bistro Bis with free food. Free from 5:30-8PM [Bistro Bis]
* Carl Hiassan talks about Nature Girl at Politics & Prose. Free at 7PM. [P&P]
* “Labels for Love,” at Intermix on M Street. Bring “one piece of new or gently used warm winter women’s clothing donation to the women of Bethany House” and get discounts, Snow Queen Vodka cocktails, hors d’oeuvres by Cafe Bonaparte and a goodie bag at Intermix. [WP]

• “White man to eat you. I am very hungry right now, I will eat you as long as you want me to.” [Craigslist]

• “This is how the Republicans I like to spend the Weekend.” What a mouthful. [Craigslist]
• Andie MacDowell spotted at a Caribou Coffee. Reliable Source spotted her at Olives yesterday, and reports that she’s in town to see a Chinese singer because last summer she “fell in love with all things Chinese.” [Craigslist]
• A lonely voice against the herd mentality of YouTube. [Alternative Hippopotamus]
• Fridays, we try to help you with your fashions. Today, we investigate forgettable trends such as “leggings under skirts” and ankle boots. Leggings under skirts are met with ambivalence. Ankle boots? Well, since no one is reading this, thumbs up to ankle boots because they hold more cubic liters of sperm than flats. [Circle V]

• Heard on the Hill: Conrad Burns’ anti-Firefighter tirade was caught on video by a “mole” who follows him around. [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is on Vanity Fair’s Best Dressed List. [WP]

We don’t know what’s odder — that she clearly had to cut short her workout to address the start of World War III IV Five Blades of Shaving Power and didn’t feel like changing, or that she works out in hand-me-downs from Jenna Bush.
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