So Laura “Crazy Eyes” Bush was traipsing around the Middle East this past week, adorably pretending to care about dangerous terrorist women’s breasts because… well, because she’s basically taken over both Condoleezza Rice’s and Karen Hughes’ jobs. At one stop, somebody got sick of looking at her head, so they handed her a scarf and, OMG, she put it on! OUTRAGE! Why does the first lady hate America? Think Progress has a superfun roundup of all the moaning and hand-wringing. My favorite: MORE »

Yesterday, we brought you the New York Times roundup of crappy campaign swag, an action which virtually guarantees that within a couple of weeks, college campuses will be rife with ironic hipsters strutting around with Huckabee messenger bags. Today’s shopping trip is to the wonderful, wonderful Blackwater store, a shop bursting with a fabulous array of fashions for him, her and baby, too! MORE »

The New York Times has a delightful round-up of all the godawful campaign merchandise offered by all the leading presidential candidates… and Ron Paul, too! Soon all the kids will be wearing McCain hoodies, Obama baby-doll tees and Giuliani baseball jerseys. Our favorites by far are the extensive wares offered by Mike Huckabee’s shop, a dizzying array of merchandise featuring superb graphics meant to appeal to his followers’ lack of grammar skills (”a.Huck.i.be”) and love of flop existential Hollywood comedies (”I [Heart] Huckabee”). MORE »