Wonkette

Loathsome ratface Rudy Giuliani is still in England, hanging around what’s left of Maggie Thatcher and making bizarre outlandish claims to the British, because he thinks they’re all idiots, too. This is what he told reporters yesterday: “I’m probably one of the four or five best known Americans in the world.” Rudy’s such a delusional pompous asshole that he probably believes this, but of course he couldn’t be more wrong. MORE »

Well sure, you know Rudy just wants to be the Cross-Dressing Dictator of Terror, but for a lot of Americans who are busy struggling to survive or whatever, he’s just that guy who acted vaguely presidential on 9/11 — standing around with a sort of firm expression in the city where he happened to be mayor that day, while the real president was hiding in an airplane like a little girl. So it’s fun to see CNN running stories about whether it’s “appropriate” for Giuliani to even show up at the annual 9/11 terror festival, which is, after all, supposed to be in honor of the people who were killed that day, not to give Rudy a three-point boost in the polls.

RUDY GIULIANI FACES 9/11 QUESTIONS [YouTube/CNN]

Self-proclaimed Terror Queen Rudy Giuliani is, of course, running for President of 9/11. TIME Magazine describes his campaign this way: “He has no foreign policy experience, and he talks about terrorism as if it’s an enemy country on a continent only he knows how to find.” The magazine then spends about a million words describing all the other ways that Giuliani is, in fact, a terrorist. MORE »

A brave group of wingnuts is demanding that George W. Bush nuke all the brown folk and become Dictator of the World. Why? We don’t know, something about how democracy is sort of a pain when all you want to do is nuke the fucking Moslems so Emperor Jesus can return as written in the popular “Left Behind” comic books. Anyway, some local dingbat right-wing “think tank” posted some insane bullshit about how Bush is so hated by everybody that he must become dictator by nuking Iraq as the obvious first part of the bold plan to “empty Iraq of Arabs and repopulate the country with Americans.” MORE »

Well, there won’t be any “news” until after Labor Day, so let’s just spend the next few weeks drinking on the job and watching YouTube clips. It’s better than being outside! Here’s a clip some dude made of Rudy McTerrorism saying “global terrorism” and “September 11″ several million times. We think this makes a real “statement” about “politics,” and we hope you are drinking on the job, too.

Rudy Giuliani’s answer to everything [YouTube]

Here he is, America’s Mayor of Terrorism, dressed up in a fucking weird costume again. Oh, and berating a zoo animal for being on welfare — ha ha, it’s funny because of all the blacks on welfare! No wait, it’s racist because he’s dressed up as … John Travolta in Battleship Scientologia? We don’t know. But it’s definitely stupid and offensive so you can bet there are about a thousand similar clips floating around — in fact, there’s a whole movie collection of this crap called Giuliani Time, and that’s where we got this clip.

Big Cat Rudy Giuliani [YouTube]

“Freedom is not a concept in which people can do anything they want, be anything they can be. Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do.”

If you answered “Rudy Giuliani,” give yourself a jaunty Soviet cap and report to Siberian Work Camp #207. Thanks for playing!

Guiliani: Freedom is about authority [Boing Boing]

* Congressional Democrats look to time machine to stop troop surge. [WP, NYT]
* Changing kaleidoscope of “things President Bush could’ve started instead of a war,” moves to alternative fuel technology. [WP, NYT]
* Bursting hybrid owners’ bubbles feels good. [USAT]
* Sooner or later one of the “softball” questions lobbed up at Rudy Giuliani is going to break a window, then he’ll get all crazy, kicking homeless people and yelling about “America’s Mayor’s foot in their ass.” [NYT]
* Sorry Bill Richardson, but it’s about popularity. Just how these things go. [NYT]
* Bill Clinton’s tongue has made him rich. [WP]
* Rep. Sam Johnson is the House’s Walnuts, Syria nuking jokes and all. [LAT]
* Iraqi embassy rebuilt with less “blood, sweat and tears” than, well, you know. [WP]

Remember that confusing thing we posted yesterday about some Senate ethics bill that maybe would’ve turned regular political bloggers into some sort of “register or go to prison” lobbyists? Well, we are free at last, thank god thank god. MORE »

It would take a dozen lawyers to figure out what this really means, but new “ethics legislation” in the House and Senate has some people scared that the Reid & Pelosi Reich is going to force political bloggers to register with the government. MORE »