If the town of Woodward, Oklahoma wore pants, it would be shitting them right now. The president is coming to visit, you see! No, not that president — the real one, with the sticker. He will make this 4th of July the most exciting holiday since Opal Cornhole’s goat got into the vodka-filled watermelon and spent the evening humping a lamppost. MORE »

American “rock star” and sometime Presidential candidate Barack Obama has made a big splash in the United States with his smooth baritone voice, winning smile, and sexy dance moves. Now he’s charming his way into the hearts of Europeans who, after bitter Hasselhoff-related disappointments, are looking for a new American hero. MORE »