Tag Archives: fannie mae

  socialism wins

Failed Socialist Debacle Fannie Mae To Contribute $59.4 Billion Cash Dividend To US Treasury

Back in 2008, when it was the End of History (but really this time), the American mortgage giant Fannie Mae took $116.1 billion from the government (“you”) in exchange for a nice promise that they’d fuck us twice as hard if they didn’t get it. Some people didn’t like it! But this was a time when the economy was bleeding jobs out of every orifice, the entire government was panic-spending hundreds of billions on any damn thing they could think of (except “you”), and the shade of Karl Marx just straight gave up and stopped trying to hide his uncomely tumescence (boner). So most people greeted the news something like this: “Oh good more calamity who fucking cares.” Today their apathy is validated because everything is fine again, Fannie’s cutting a check for a few dozen bil to the Treasury, the bailout will soon be fully repaid, everybody involved is making money hand over fist, and you are still poor (if you’re poor). Read more on Failed Socialist Debacle Fannie Mae To Contribute $59.4 Billion Cash Dividend To US Treasury…
  ron paul revolution or something

Mitt Romney Isn’t Telling Us Exactly How He Will Ruin The Housing Sector

Good news, everyone! Romney/Ryan have no specific plans to ruin the housing sector at this point, which is probably a good thing, given that Mitt Romney has been pretty clear about his interest in ruining education and Paul Ryan has a very specific plan to ruin Medicare and Medicaid. So let’s just all respectfully disagree with Business Insider, which thinks it’s a Bad Thing that the campaign’s white paper on housing policy is basically just a collection of vague platitudes about “too big to fail” and “common sense reform” and blah blah etc, with one little part about how much EASIER it will be for banks to foreclose on you. Read more on Mitt Romney Isn’t Telling Us Exactly How He Will Ruin The Housing Sector…
  thank you sir may we have another

Freddie Mac Regulator Cordially Invites Homeowners To Bite Him

Oh HI, 31.4% of homeowners that are underwater on their mortgages! Would you like to change your name to Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae, or perhaps even just “bank”? Because if not it is too bad and so sad for you, since the Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac regulator just said no WAY hozay to a plan that might actually help you, because of “freedom” and “personal responsibility.” And yes, Freddie Mac and Fannie maybe got hundreds of millions of dollars from the government in a no-strings-attached bailout, but that was DIFFERENT. Helping rich people and large institutions makes them better whereas helping homeowners and Poors just encourages irresponsibility, DUH. Read more on Freddie Mac Regulator Cordially Invites Homeowners To Bite Him…
  two-stepping with newt

Gingrich’s Latest Target: Elitist Apartment-Dwelling Subway Riders

In a speech at a rally for the National Association of Home Builders last Thursday, posing in front of an unbuilt home that no one will ever buy because no one can get a mortgage, alleged fiscal conservative Newt Gingrich argued on behalf of home ownership and government support of it, and in the process ridiculed people who ride the subway, of which there are apparently some in this country. Gingrich determined that people who ride the subway also don’t own homes, and lazily take public transportation that, well, their tax dollars help pay for from their “high-rise apartments” to their jobs at “fancy newspapers in the middle of town.” These elitist assholes don’t see the value of owning their own home (or owning their own job?), Gingrich surmised. Maybe they should just…like…move to Paris! Where there is more subway than there is Subway, and where being a snob doesn’t get you verbally excommunicated by a windbag with too much time on his hands. Read more on Gingrich’s Latest Target: Elitist Apartment-Dwelling Subway Riders…
  only vaguely ironic

Evil ‘Homeless Costume Party’ Eviction Firm Closing, For Being Evil

Whoops! It is apparently Not Okay as of “since Occupy Wall Street started” for the sadistic owner of a foreclosure mill to openly mock the struggling families it makes truckloads of money throwing out of their homes by forcing its employees to costume themselves as homeless people for Halloween, so Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac decided to “evict” the law firm of Steven J. Baum from its referral list, for not having the decency of every other government-supported jillion-dollar corrupt business to just have their laffs at the poor in private. Without all these referrals, the firm is being forced to close down. Read more on Evil ‘Homeless Costume Party’ Eviction Firm Closing, For Being Evil…
  that's one solid excuse slip

Unlike All You Rich People, Michele Bachmann Deserves Her Federal Loan

One of the richly ironic centerpieces of sparkly welfare princess Michele Bachmann’s garbled mind is a dogged conviction that recipients of federal monies are generally freeloading layabouts with not enough Protestant Work Ethic, angry white people code for “not enough melanin,” even though Michele is also predictably a constant recipient of dirty, sexy taxpayer funds. Most recently, the Washington Post uncovered a $417,000 federally-subsidized loan from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to help purchase a luxury house. Michele’s simple explanation for this is that “unlike all of you, who I’m sure pay cash for your homes, there are people out there like myself who actually have to go to a bank and get a mortgage.” Michele sounds a little hurt. Sorry, it is not our fault if the rest of us sleep in giant chocolate palaces made of cocoa beans melted together over fires of burning dollar bills! Read more on Unlike All You Rich People, Michele Bachmann Deserves Her Federal Loan…
  but in favor of cheesasaurus rex staying private

House Republicans Already Giving Up On One of Their Few Actual Policies

Earlier this year, leading House Republicans proposed to privatize mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac or place them in receivership starting in two years. Now, as Republicans prepare to assume control of the House next week, they aren’t in as big a rush, cautioning that withdrawing government support in the housing market should be gradual. Read more on House Republicans Already Giving Up On One of Their Few Actual Policies…
  and mcain vows to make it worse

America Still Has Its Housing/Mortgage Disaster!

Those lousy Greeks/Europeans, how can they spend so much money propping up their failed economy and jobless cretins and mountains of bad debt? Don’t they have capitalist scruples or whatever? Oh yeah, and America’s government-run mortgage hander-outer, Fannie Mae, needs another $8.4 billion to get through next week maybe, things have been sort of tough, what with the $11.5 billion loss just in the first quarter of this year. Read more on America Still Has Its Housing/Mortgage Disaster!…
  hooray!

A Festivus Miracle: No Fannie/Freddie Foreclosures! (Until January 9)

So, uh, the economy doesn’t seem to be doing much, uh, better. The S&P 500 is back down to 1997 levels. 1997! Everybody’s losing their jobs, if they still have jobs. Some are suggesting it will not even be a Merry Christmas, and that the real (Muslim) Jesus is sort of getting a kick out of all this. But do not worry, because some of you will evade foreclosure until January 9. Christmas is back! Read more on A Festivus Miracle: No Fannie/Freddie Foreclosures! (Until January 9)…
  town hell

Black Town Hall Questioner Tears Apart McCain In Facebook Message

You may recall the second question from Tuesday night’s town hall debate from a young black fellow named Oliver Clark. Clark asked the candidates what the bailout package does for the Average American. McCain responded by attacking Obama for not regulating Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac — it was his ONE JOB AND HE BLEW IT — and in the process said to Clark, “You probably never heard of Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac before this.” Because how would anyone have known about these two mortgage giants that back 70% of the country’s mortgages? Well, it was condescending anyway, and Clark has posted a hilarious message on his Facebook saying that he has like 500 college degrees and calling Walnuts a horrible racist. Read more on Black Town Hall Questioner Tears Apart McCain In Facebook Message…
  good sweet jesus god man!

THE BLACKS DID IT: Speaking of Neil Cavuto, here he is blaming the entire financial crisis on Fannie & Freddie loaning to “minorities and risky folks.” Why did Michael Steele Barack Obama lock into mortgages he couldn’t afford? [Media Matters] Read more on …
  it's funny because her party caused it

Michele Bachmann Says Comical Thing About Economy

Staunch conservative baby harvester Rep. Michele Bachmann sez: “First we were told that Bear Stearns was too big to fail, then we were told that Freddie/Fannie were too big to fail, then we were told that AIG was too big to fail. What’s next, Starbucks too big to fail?” Ha ha ha, oh heavens, we think that might be a slap at the dreaded Liberals! Bachmann, as always, has hit upon something brilliant here that could carry the Republicans into landslide victories this fall: The government is flooding the economy with cash, ergo the Democrats must be behind this, and they will continue to bail out their “San Francisco values” companies if you elect them. “What’s next, STARBUCKS?” Marvelous. [ABC News] Read more on Michele Bachmann Says Comical Thing About Economy…
  snowbilly meltdown

WHAT’S ALASKAN FOR ‘IGNORANT’? Asked about the housing collapse and emergency government takeover of mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, Sarah Palin said they had “gotten too big and too expensive to the taxpayers.” Both are private corporations — or were until they were bailed out over the weekend by the Bush Administration and, uh, the taxpayers. [Sam Stein/Associated Press] Read more on …
 

Metro Section: Butt City

* “It seems to me that if the city is going to legislate a smoking ban and effectively throw us smokers into the street, that the least they could do is pony up and put ashtrays on every busy block.” [Good at Drinking, Bad at Life] * “Only in DC do you see advertisements for military aircraft on public transit … Boeing’s C-27J spartan cargo and tactical transport aircraft.” [Life Off Balance] * Beautiful picture of Columbia Heights. [Night Writer] * “Giant local employer Fannie Mae expects it will lay off hundreds of workers in the wake of huge federal fines imposed in their accounting scandal. We’re sorry, unsuspecting Fannie Mae employees.” [DCist] * “Vince Gill and Amy Grant!? I hate to spoil it for all you fans, but I bet they play ‘House of Love’ as their encore. I’m not linking to the lyrics to that musical abortion because they are insipid and the song will just end up stuck in your head and I don’t want to do that to you. I’m looking out for my readers. If Tony Snow’s cancer was a song, it would be ‘House of Love.’ It eats away at the very core of who you are.” [why.i.hate.dc] Read more on Metro Section: Butt City…