family values
For anyone out there who continues to be nauseated by Newt Gingrich’s lifelong pattern of deception, adultery, selfishness and cruelty toward his wives, you’re just looking at it wrong! What his affairs actually demonstrate, when you really think about it, are his psychological strength and fitness for office. Huh? Oh come on now, Slate, you [...]
Here’s an important legal advisory for Florida residents the rest of us can laugh at: it is apparently unlawful in the state of Florida to shack up with a sexytime partner outside of wedlock, if you are straight. Homo sex does not count as real sex in Florida, so teh gayz are in the clear [...]
Last week tragic illiteracy victim Michele Bachmann signed a “Marriage Vow” pledge thing to stand up for Guantanamo Bay torture victim “straight-people marriage” with all the usual Jesus tools like hate for gays, Islam and porn. WE ARE GOING TO PRAY that Bachmann did not actually bother to read this thing she signed and then [...]
The Bible is full of important life lessons and anecdotes, such as “sharing is good” and “love your neighbor” and “please stop complaining about bullies, you are being so whiny and gay right now.” (This is exactly what Jesus told the young leper boy, when the other schoolchildren made fun of his painful medical condition.) [...]
Our consumer affairs desk brings you the sad, sad story of Donald Cranfill — a man with a name full of pathos, which is his mama’s fault, and a wallet full of empty, which is his Mama Grizzly’s fault. A truck driver, Cranfill bought a $600 ticket to see the actress Sarah Palin perform her [...]
Things are heating up in the GOP primary race between diaper-lovin’ David Vitter and his opponent Chet Traylor, who sure seems to enjoy sipping on that fruity drive-thru daiquiri called “romance,” hoo wee. Democratic state Rep. Noble Ellington says Traylor, a Louisiana Supreme Court justice, stole his wife right out of his lovin’ arms and [...]
