Tag: family research council

God's financial analyst.

Televangelist Assholes Pretty Sure Manchester And London Asking For It, Like Common Godless Sluts

BREAKING NEWS Pat Robertson and Jim Bakker are disgusting assholes.

Trump Cons Religious Idiots With Meaningless Executive Order, Completely Forgets To Fuck The Gays

Sorry, Christian wingnuts, but you got scammed.

Trump Knows What Women Want! Your Wonkagenda for Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Trump has a spot for the ladies, TrumpCare rides again (again), and Hannity throws another tantrum. Your morning news brief!

Jeff Sessions Is Coming All Over Your Porn! We Mean Coming After!

Sessions said during his confirmation hearing that he's totally open to prosecuting the porns. THANKS TRUMP!
Also a TrekkER, not a TrekkIE

Nice Time! Congress Votes Unanimously To Protect Nonbelievers’ Rights. What Are They Up To????

'The God I don't believe in is a kind and loving God.' -- Catch-22
OK, maybe not a room at the State Department...

Vladimir Putin Picks Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson For Secretary Of State, Trump Agrees

Donald Trump's choice for secretary of State appears to be just another Russian hack.
Your tax dollars at work

Team Of Evils: Education Nominee Betsy DeVos Hates Public Schools, Satan. Did We Get Lucky?

Yeah, this one's about as awful as you'd expect, too.

‘Let’s Roll!’ Gary Bauer Tells Values Voters They Must Crash America To Save It

It's also OK to crash the plane if you really, really don't like the flight crew's politics.

God Must Have Forgot To Tell Tony Perkins To Build An Ark For Latest Great Flood

Leading religious right bigot loses home in Baton Rouge flooding, and you know what? We are very sorry that happened.

Washington Post Says Trump Teaching GOP To Love The Gays, LOL Shut Up, Washington Post

How weird, since Trump is addressing an INSANE anti-gay summit this week!

Utah Republican Wishes Porn Would Stop Forcing Utah Republican To Watch Porn

Know those hilarious statistics that say the most sexxx porn is watched by residents of the most conservative states, like Utah? We're not a social scientist, but we'd guess it has something to do with how if something is intensely condemned by...

Louie Gohmert Would Have Gotten A Stiffie And Here’s Why

Texas Republican Congressman Louie Gohmert doesn't have an erection right now. (Unless he does.) But Louie Gohmert gets boners sometimes, and he knows sometimes there need to be laws, to protect people from his boners. He explained this to...
PFFFFFT JESUS.

Sarah Palin Would Never Judge You For Not Loving Jesus, As Long As You’re Donald Trump

Oh ho ho ho ho, you want to eat a fried moose sandwich with OMG hypocrisy sauce for breakfast this morning, the day of the big Iowa caucuses? Sarah Palin, whose latest grift (except for this one) is writing...
Cocktail hour.

Moron Todd Starnes Says Moron Todd Starnes Is Moron

Suspected pee enthusiast and Fox News shouty mad face Todd Starnes is having a confuse! You see, the other day Donald Trump talked Jesus words to the virginal students of Liberty University, and he Bibled wrong, because he said...
The Yoogest Story Ever Told

Southern Baptist Leader Calls Donald Trump Filthy Slutty Gambling Glutton Whore

Oh bother! The evangelicals are getting itchy in their Underoos again, what with the cognitive dissonance of Donald Trump -- who does all the seven deadly sins before breakfast, including the one about wanting to fuck his daughter -- being the frontrunner for...