Oh man… Wolf Blitzer said that Jesus was born in Jerusalem during Celebrity Jeopardy last night. What a heathen! He ended Double Jeopardy with -$4,600, with super-easy questions too. And check out at how snooty he looks when Alex has to adjust his score for answering “Julia Childs,” earlier. Ha ha, Wolf Blitzer. Andy Richter seems so nice and smart. [Politico, Gawker (full episode)]

For further proof of just how bumblefuck a state Alaska is, look no further than the ease with which a couple of lawyers for the McCain campaign have destroyed the Troopergate investigation — which was a legitimate issue in Alaska for a while! — after half-assedly skimming off a few handy topic sentences from the Alaskan law code. Todd Palin and several other witnesses were subpoenaed to testify this morning, but no one bothered to show up, and the investigators don’t give a shit. And now the Alaskan legislator in charge of the investigation has announced that the probe will end, as originally scheduled, on October 10, without these key witness reports, cuz whatcha gonna do? MORE »

• Maybe we underestimated this Palin gal, as she too has a media-ready batshit Nazi preacher. [Political Punch]
• Oh look, it’s a photo from a sexy clothing catalogue with theme of failure, featuring Sarah Palin modeling some hideous t-shirt celebrating the homestyle Alaskan corruption that she reformed. [Ben Smith]
• The NRA told Sarah Palin to fire her aerobics class friend, Wasilla Police Chief Irl Stambaugh, for opposing a concealed gun law. She tried to, and he sued her for doing this thing. [Crooks and Liars]
• Alberto Gonzales’ only defense for why he took home classified NSA files is that he is illiterate, which… well, fine. [TPMMuckraker]
• McCain’s hanging out with known woman Sarah Palin like six times is not convincing very many ladies to vote for him. [Political Wire]
• Romney and Schwarzenegger were both AWOL at the RNC, but guess which one sent along DVDs of every terrible movie in which he played a benevolent robot in his place? [Top of the Ticket]

Hillary Clinton may have conceded the Democratic presidential nomination last weekend, but that doesn’t mean her old ex-friend Dick Morris doesn’t have some more strategic advice for her! You have heard of this “Mark Penn” character, yes? The pile of human glop that would slither out in front of the teevee cameras and gurgle about Hillary’s balls or whatever, until he got fired for being a Colombian sewer-hound? It seems that Mark Penn is to blame for Hillary’s failure, which everybody knows, and now Dick Morris knows it, too. MORE »

Barack Obama did some serious damage to his credibility with working-class white voters this weekend when he proved that he is a total spastic failure at bowling. He and fellow pantywaist Senator Bob Casey bowled worse than two girls with no arms, leaving no doubt in the minds of many voters that he is out of touch with the concerns of regular hard-working Americans. Read all about how an evening at the Pleasant Valley Recreation Center became his Waterloo, after the jump. MORE »

Mitt Romney is a savvy businessman with executive experience — that’s why he lost nearly every state primary last night to a broken old man and some guy named “Huckabee.” Today, the Mormon heartthrob will be applying his robust analytical skills to deciding whether or not he should blow another $35 million on his doomed campaign. [CNN]

Subject: A message for Alex on his way out
From: [redacted]@aol.com
Date: 10/3/2007 9:08 PM
To: tips@wonkette.com MORE »

One of Cheney’s remaining hacks at the Pentagon, undersecretary of neocon propaganda Eric Edelman, sent Hillary Clinton a mean letter telling her to shut up about the withdrawal of troops from Iraq that everybody knows is going to happen on some level pretty soon, including everybody at the Pentagon and everybody in Iraq. MORE »

The greatest war ever is four years old today, and that means Bush will say something on the teevee for a few minutes, possibly about how much he loves guacamole.

Begun this liveblogging has …. MORE »

Beloved Bush lackey Tony Blair is pulling 1,500 troops from Iraq. MORE »

TIME may have put “you” on the cover as “Person of the Year,” but some 200 million of you have abandoned the blogs that were supposed to save us from the Main Stream Media. MORE »