Tag Archives: failure

  free willard

Romney’s Expensive Computer Get-Out-The-Vote Effort Explodes Miserably, Like Rest Of Romney Campaign

You can find just about anywhere on the Internet right now important stories about how Team Obama used a bunch of high-tech gee-whiz computer business to analyze huge amounts of data on voters and contributors and get them out to the polls, both in 2008 and 2012. Well, the Republican establishment wasn’t about to take that lying down! No, they designed their own high-tech thingie called “Project ORCA,” which did not work, just like all the other aspects of the Romney campaign that didn’t work on election day. Let’s get the secret inside scoop! Read more on Romney’s Expensive Computer Get-Out-The-Vote Effort Explodes Miserably, Like Rest Of Romney Campaign…
  never forget (until tomorrow)

USA Beats USSR In Losing Afghanistan

Congratulations, America! The U.S. war in Afghanistan has now lasted longer than the Soviet war in Afghanistan. That’s nine years and fifty-three days for us, so far, and nine years and fifty days for the USSR. One cool thing about always having wars in the same brown-people countries year after year and decade after decade is that simple people don’t need to keep learning new, weird country names. Just sort of learn to say Afghanistan and Iraq, and you’re set for 20 or 30 years! Read more on USA Beats USSR In Losing Afghanistan…
  clown show

Liveblogging Barack Obama’s Televised Assault of Ex-Gen. McChrystal

UPDATE: MCCHRYSTAL IS FIRED. PETRAEUS REPLACES HIM. If George Washington was still commander in chief, Stanley McChrystal would be swinging from the gallows today. But no, we’ve got Barack Obama, who has to have scheduled meetings with everybody, while John Adams seethes in the hallway. And any moment now, Obama will step out to tell the world the fate of America’s Biggest Asshole, Stanley McChrystal, who already left the White House after a half-hour meeting in which the two men discussed such matters as “WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU BRAIN DAMAGED? DID A SHELL LAND ON YOUR REDNECK SKULL?” Read more on Liveblogging Barack Obama’s Televised Assault of Ex-Gen. McChrystal…
  trooper pooper

‘Troopergate’ Investigation To Wrap Up Before Anyone Involved Testifies

For further proof of just how bumblefuck a state Alaska is, look no further than the ease with which a couple of lawyers for the McCain campaign have destroyed the Troopergate investigation — which was a legitimate issue in Alaska for a while! — after half-assedly skimming off a few handy topic sentences from the Alaskan law code. Todd Palin and several other witnesses were subpoenaed to testify this morning, but no one bothered to show up, and the investigators don’t give a shit. And now the Alaskan legislator in charge of the investigation has announced that the probe will end, as originally scheduled, on October 10, without these key witness reports, cuz whatcha gonna do? Read more on ‘Troopergate’ Investigation To Wrap Up Before Anyone Involved Testifies…
  rumors on the internets

Aerobics Class Treachery: In Which Sarah Palin Fires Someone Who Disagrees With Her

Maybe we underestimated this Palin gal, as she too has a media-ready batshit Nazi preacher. [Political Punch] Oh look, it’s a photo from a sexy clothing catalogue with theme of failure, featuring Sarah Palin modeling some hideous t-shirt celebrating the homestyle Alaskan corruption that she reformed. [Ben Smith] Read more on Aerobics Class Treachery: In Which Sarah Palin Fires Someone Who Disagrees With Her…
 

Clinton Campaign Post Mortem: Everybody Hates Mark Penn, Still

Hillary Clinton may have conceded the Democratic presidential nomination last weekend, but that doesn’t mean her old ex-friend Dick Morris doesn’t have some more strategic advice for her! You have heard of this “Mark Penn” character, yes? The pile of human glop that would slither out in front of the teevee cameras and gurgle about Hillary’s balls or whatever, until he got fired for being a Colombian sewer-hound? It seems that Mark Penn is to blame for Hillary’s failure, which everybody knows, and now Dick Morris knows it, too. Read more on Clinton Campaign Post Mortem: Everybody Hates Mark Penn, Still…
 

Barack Obama Fails At Bowling In Pennsylvania

Barack Obama did some serious damage to his credibility with working-class white voters this weekend when he proved that he is a total spastic failure at bowling. He and fellow pantywaist Senator Bob Casey bowled worse than two girls with no arms, leaving no doubt in the minds of many voters that he is out of touch with the concerns of regular hard-working Americans. Read all about how an evening at the Pleasant Valley Recreation Center became his Waterloo, after the jump. Read more on Barack Obama Fails At Bowling In Pennsylvania…
 

Romney Possibly Rethinking This Whole Thing

Mitt Romney is a savvy businessman with executive experience — that’s why he lost nearly every state primary last night to a broken old man and some guy named “Huckabee.” Today, the Mormon heartthrob will be applying his robust analytical skills to deciding whether or not he should blow another $35 million on his doomed campaign. [CNN] Read more on Romney Possibly Rethinking This Whole Thing…
 

Subject: A message for Alex on his way out From: [redacted]@aol.com Date: 10/3/2007 9:08 PM To: tips@wonkette.com Good luck. You will fail. When you do may all of God’s blessings be upon you and may someone take pity on you in the way you never did. Peace Alex. Read more on …
 

Pentagon Hack Whines About Hillary, Iraq

One of Cheney’s remaining hacks at the Pentagon, undersecretary of neocon propaganda Eric Edelman, sent Hillary Clinton a mean letter telling her to shut up about the withdrawal of troops from Iraq that everybody knows is going to happen on some level pretty soon, including everybody at the Pentagon and everybody in Iraq. Read more on Pentagon Hack Whines About Hillary, Iraq…
 

Tony Blair Hates Our Freedoms, Pulling Troops From Iraq

Beloved Bush lackey Tony Blair is pulling 1,500 troops from Iraq. Blair will announce the withdrawals tomorrow, according to BBC and the papers. At least 1,500 of the 7,000 troops will be coming home in a few weeks, if they aren’t killed first. There’s supposed to be a timetable to bring the rest of them home, too. Read more on Tony Blair Hates Our Freedoms, Pulling Troops From Iraq…
 

No New Year For 200 Million Dead Blogs

TIME may have put “you” on the cover as “Person of the Year,” but some 200 million of you have abandoned the blogs that were supposed to save us from the Main Stream Media. Read more on No New Year For 200 Million Dead Blogs…