fail

Hey, leftists and liberals and Democrats, remember a couple of years ago how super-excited you were about Barack Obama, the Chicago community organizer? Nobody really expected unicorns and a fair tax burden for the richest of the rich, but we were enthusiastic, right? Barack Obama has remained completely invisible during the intense labor battles raging […]

Ha ha, this is our attempt at a “business news” headline. (We were never very useful at the business desk.) But there does seem to be some investor concern, what with everything in free fall around the world and especially in the oil-y parts. Meanwhile, in sad-sack America, big companies from Amazon to something that […]

And how did the White House managers react to Shirley Sherrod being fired from the USDA because Andrew Breitbart fucked around with a video he found somewhere? High Fives all around, according to Politico’s Ben Smith. During Tuesday morning’s staff meeting, White House deputy chief of staff Jim Messina reportedly said, “We could have waited […]

The Pentagon Men are having some kind of teleconference via MSNBC to tell America’s Enemies (TM) that, look, just because we’ve been flailing around in Afghanistan for a decade with no real mission or logic, and just because our U.S. military commander there was an insane insubordinate redneck who ran his own warlord fiefdom based […]

The Republicans were so proud of their shitty new website, “America Speaking Out.” They got the finest 1970s NASA computer technology to power the immediately broken & buggy webform — instead of letting the Free Market work by using Formspring or whatever — and then they were sad when a bunch of Wonkette readers filled […]

Let’s see, we’ve only had five actual Space Shuttles, and two of them have blown up — killing everyone aboard and bumming out the nation for weeks/months — and actually Endeavor was built of old Challenger replacement parts after that shuttle exploded shortly after launch, meaning we started with just four, and half of that […]

Lots of Wonkette readers sent us this embarrassing new GOP “America Speaking Out” website, because obviously we — as Americans who speak — should go flood this dumb thing with TruckNutz and whatever. Okay, that is a funny thing to do, on the Internet, but oh dear Jesus in Space why did you have to […]

Tracy Jackson, you have made very poor choices in life. You are pretty and reasonably young. And yet you *allegedly* let this gross old Jesus Freak Republican Family Values Congressman climb all over you and hump on you. Also, Tracy Jackson, Fox News reports that you are *also* married. UPDATE: Oh you think you can […]

REPUBLICAN LOGIC  12:54 pm May 11, 2010

by Ken Layne

NOMINEES WITHOUT JUDICIAL EXPERIENCE ARE GREAT, EXCEPT WHEN THEY’RE … DEMOCRATS! Senator John Cornyn (Wingnut-TX) thought it would be “very beneficial” to have a bird-brain non-judge like Harriet Miers on the Supreme Court, because she would have a non-judicial “grounding in reality and common sense” lacking in professional judges. But Elena Kagan is a terrible […]

Oh here’s Juan McCain and his new friend (?!) the Mexican-Smashing Skinhead walking along the invisible (?) border fence that keeps Juan McCain from returning home to Teddy Roosevelt’s Panama, and it looks like today ol’ Walnuts *doesn’t* like illegal immigration — which is something, really, coming from Teddy Kennedy’s best friend. John McCain invented […]

Famous college-testing company Kaplan is now racing to get rid of all its loser “print journalism” properties, with forgotten newsweekly Newsweek now officially being handed to some broker who will put it out of its misery. (Kaplan also owns the Washington Post, the struggling youth-blogging consortium and holding pen for insane old neo-cons.) But Newsweek […]

America’s most exciting political movement (according to newspapers that are all going out of business) is the Tea Party! Never before has this nation seen such “energy” (fat white people in lawn chairs) or “passion” (racist, misspelled signs). From snowbilly grifter Sarah Palin to chocolate-sucking giant-baby serial-divorcer has-been Newt Gingrich, it seems all the Republican […]

Let’s check in with the Wonkette Business Desk for our morning economic roundup. U.S. pending home sales are at their highest point this year! U.S. manufacturing orders are at a two-year high! A terrorist plot against New York — the financial capital of the world — totally failed and the suspected/attempted car-bomber was caught by […]

You wealthy tech people with the software and the code and the four-hundred million registered users, could you maybe *beta test* this stuff a little bit before dumping it on the world? Wonkette links cannot be put on people’s Facebook pages now, apparently, because “Warning: This Message Contains Blocked Content. Some content in this message […]

The “gotcha” part of the NYT “takedown” of Politico/Mike Allen is so pathetic, we feel bad for Mike Allen. Turns out his dad, who died a quarter-century ago, was a wingnut who wrote John Birch crap and was suspicious of government! Sort of like EVERY OTHER DAD IN ORANGE COUNTY, CALIFORNIA. Conversely, Mike Allen enjoys […]