Wonkette operative/Capitol Spy “Valkyrie” sends this chilling report: “Just saw Capitol Hill police officers surrounding a guy and checking inside his metal basket cart. As I passed by, I looked inside, and the cart was filled with confiscated tea bags in little evidence bags, and the police officers were taking their pick. Fat cats.” Thanks, teabaggers, for providing our nation’s Capitol Cops with a selection of tasty herbal teas!

THE SADDEST LIL’ TEA PARTY PROTEST: “Joanne Millard, 68, a resident at Riverfront Apartments, slipped on a rock and then fell into the water while dumping tea leaves from a plastic bag into the river to protest the recent trillions of dollars in government spending.” Thanks to tipster “Mike W.” for this story that kind of makes us want to cry. [The Daily Item]

Wonkette operative “Laura” sends this cell-phone shot from the High Desert stucco ghetto of Victorville, California. This is one of the lamest fucking places in America, the fat diabetic heart of the housing collapse, basically everyone is on the dole — military pension, social security, disability, etc. — so of course it’s hard-core wingnut land. This is the kind of place where you see new Ron Paul 2008 posters stapled up on the phone poles to replace the ones that blew away. The signs these teabaggers are waving say “HONK IF YOU LOVE COCK.”

That Tedisco-Murphy special election sure was exciting. Nobody won, officially, yet, although Democrat Scott Murphy has a small but solid non-Lizard People lead. But there are MILITARY absentee ballots still being counted, and regular absentee ballots, 4% still uncounted, in all — so who knows, right? The only real drama was “When will Michael Steele come out and try to desperately spin this in favor, so the Confederacy doesn’t make him vanish? MORE »

Wow, how much did we not want to see this result from New York’s Congressional District 20 special election. Neck and neck! Dead Heat! Photo Finish! Etc. You goddamned people, can’t we just have an easy election, it’s over, Michael Steele is fired — he gets fired either way, hah! — and then we, uhm, move on to 2010/2012? MORE »

How deeply must you despise your former running mate — the person you wanted America to accept as a perfectly good and safe president-in-waiting, just a few months ago — to be unable to fake a quick “Sure I support her” on a Sunday news-chat show? Here’s Old Walnuts McCain utterly unable to answer a simple question about Palin from David Gregory, because good lord, Palin is absolute human garbage. You’ve got to be some real dumb trash when even Republicans won’t support you. [YouTube/USA Today]

Turns out there are some occasional consequences to keeping your failed industry afloat on a sea of free money from the government. General Motors’ CEO Richard Wagoner found out about that, today, when he was fired — excuse us, “resigned.” Barack Obama went on some teevee talky show this morning to complain about Detroit and the auto bailout, and by tonight Wagoner was out, the end. [Washington Post]

Somebody give Jim Cramer his golden dildo back, and let Larry Kramer out of the shit-cage where he sleeps, because the Stock Markets had a great big rally! Everything is good again! The U.S. markets were all up up up about 7% all the way around, which means the Dow is right back to, uhm, mid-February levels. Yes We Can. MORE »

Before his mouth was sewn shut by southern slaveholders, RNC chairman Michael Steele was always talking about the “battle royale” or “royale with cheese” that would define his dynamic, hippity hop leadership: a special election in rural New York State, to replace Democratic congresslady Kirsten Gillibrand, because now she’s got Hillary Clinton’s Senate seat, because blind-ass David Paterson decided the best thing to do was appoint a Democratic congresslady from a rural congressional district where Republicans have a good chance of winning because of all the poor white Hudson Valley trash up there, thus giving the GOP a very early chance to start a “comeback” narrative, which will fuel right-wing listserv The Politico for the next eight years of “seizing the day.” MORE »

The DNC solicited suggestions for insults to hurl at Rush Limbaugh, and boy howdy, did Democrats deliver! This stone cold rebuke to the leprous sea-monkey Rush Limbaugh will surely have him curled in a fetal position, on a pile of money. [The Democratic Party]

How do you get what’s left of the Republican Party to destroy itself? It sure helps to have some self-obsessed drug-addicted sociopath like Rush Limbaugh as “leader” of the doomed wingnuts! At some point in January, the same Obama strategists who outmaneuvered the Clinton Machine and American Racism noticed that an AM radio jackass beloved by angry white guys in service trucks — who else listens to AM radio, during the workday? — was publicly wishing failure upon both the new Obama Administration and the U.S. Economy. Maybe this bloated oil bag could bring down the entire GOP! MORE »