Tag: fail

Caution: May contain unhealthy levels of smugness

Fox’s Jesse Watters Is Neither A Good Man Nor A Smart Man

a href="http://wonkette.com/600359/15-things-bill-oreilly-got-wrong-while-laughing-at-how-stupid-these-hippies-are"Most of the time, Fox News creature Jesse Watters is safely walled off as the interviewer/producer of those HI-LARIOUS "Watters' World" segments on The O'Reilly Factor, where he goes and asks a bunch of dumb questions to uninformed...

Conservative ‘Bad Boy’ Ambush Reporter Sticks It To Bono (Impersonator)

Jason Mattera is the official Bad Boy Reporter of Washington, D.C. -- always wearing his rebellious leather jacket, pickin' up chicks with his Harley, showin' 'tude to the Man,...

Santorumemtum! Weird Rick Wins Missouri, Minnesota & Colorado!

Uhh, wasn't this supposed to be wrapped up by now? No. Not when all your candidates are so terrible. Rick Santorum is back in the race, in other words. He won Missouri! That's ... let's see, 55% for Santorum,...

Occupy Wall Street’s Scripted SOTU Response ‘Embargoed’ By PR Company

The dull evidence of a typical hack political campaign is the "embargoed" speech or statement sent out many hours before the event it is supposed to address. And now we've got this email from a big P.R. firm claiming...

Toilets Fail On Fancy New George H.W. Bush Aircraft Carrier

America's greatest president was George H.W. Bush (the old one), because he bombed a lot of Mexicans somewhere, Panama maybe? Oh and one time he had a war in Iraq, but that was lame because it only lasted a...

Erick Erickson Asks Herman Cain If He Tried Turning It On and Off

Now that the puddle of human goo that used to be Rick Perry has finally been covered over with cedar shavings and left to dry overnight, perhaps we should refocus on polishing the rest of the turds who for...

Happy Entire Decade of Failed U.S. War In Afghanistan

It's Yom Kippur, everybody! Happy solemn Day of Atonement! And in the "anti-day of atonement," it's also the 10th Anniversary of the Endless Fucked-up Failed Loser War In Afghanistan Against Who-the-Fuck-Even-Knows. Hooray for that?! Of course, the utterly random...

Record 81% of Americans Hate America

A shocking new Gallup poll proves that 81% of Americans -- an all-time record -- are against the American Government, while 82% are against Congress specifically. And 49% of Americans believe the U.S. Government is "an immediate threat to...

Obama Preparing ‘Jobs Plan’ To Give $961.04 To Each American

According to somebody who telephoned CNN, Barack Obama's jobs plan will involve somehow spending $300 billion because of tax cuts, and then people will have jobs again. No really this is what the article says. That's $961.04 for every...

Republican Barack Obama Says Filthy Tar Sands Pipeline Is Great

The difference between the environmental policies of Barack Obama and George W. Bush? You expected it to be bad with Bush Jr. Today, the White House is surrounded with people protesting the Keystone XL Tar Sands Pipeline. Here's how...

Americans Describe Debt Battle As ‘Stupid,’ ‘Ridiculous’ and ‘Disgusting’

Guess who wins politically, in this pathetic "debt showdown" thing in Washington? Nobody in Washington, that's for sure! More than three-quarters of Americans polled about the budget battles and threatened government shutdown used "negative words" including disgusting, ridiculous, stupid,...

Already Way Down In 37th Place, American Life Expectancy Is Much Worse In the South, Texas, Etc.

How's the "best health care system in the world" doing, these days? Uhh .... Large swaths of the United States are showing decreasing or stagnating life expectancy even as the nation’s overall longevity trend has continued upwards, according to a...

Pakistan Super PO’d About America Killing Pakistan’s Favorite Guy, Osama

What are America's allies up to, these days? Oh, just jailing the CIA people who targeted Osama bin Laden in his fancy Pakistan suburban castle. China reads the White House gmail, British prime minister David Cameron mocks our wonderful...

Rick Sanchez Hires Publicist To Promote Rick Sanchez Post On HuffPo

One day you're bringing home six figures from CNN, the next day you're unemployed and apologizing to the fucking Jews and trying to figure out how to get paid from Twitter. That is the complete Wikipedia entry for Rick...

Koch Bros. Creating Drone Army of Dumb Young Libertarians

Oh for fuck's sake. But is there still time to apply? And what are the requirements? Required * Solid understanding of free-market principles * Commitment to limited government and the advancement of individual liberty ...

Glenn Beck’s Website Reveals NPR Lunch Video Was Edited To Ruin NPR

Whenever that James O'Keefe guy puts out another heavily edited video against some liberal bogeyman, both the White House and the Washington/New York media quickly fire everyone involved -- because the only rational way to deal with claims made...