Tom Friedman: Something Something, Blah Blah Blah
Oh LOOK, professional centrist Tom Friedman used his position at the “best job in the world,” which we are all “jealous of,” to share with us some deep thoughts on how we should be fixing the economy. See, the whole problem, you guys, is that we haven’t created enough of something called “startups.” If 2,000 [...]
Embedded Journalist Connie Schultz Weasels Out Of Breitbart Wannabe’s Sneaky Gotcha! Question
Syndicated columnist and Elite Media Figure Connie Schultz presents us with an object lesson in how to cleverly avoid answering pointed questions from citizen-journalists who tell you that they have the goods on you. (Above. It is right there above. Did you not see it?) But a couple of Tips to the best journalist of [...]
Here Is How You Do Your Non-Apology Apology For Fried-Chicken-Related Racist Facebook Posts, GOP
Are you having a bummer of a day? Maybe work seems like it will never end, or maybe your lumbago is flaring, or maybe it’s just that a black man is president. In any of those cases, we have a hilarious Facebook post from the Rutland County, Vermont, GOP to make you feel better! Just [...]
One Million Moms Defeats Battalion Of Gay Green Lantern Comix Nerds, Hides
Poor One Million Moms. So many campaigns in which to declare victory before frantically fleeing in disarray, so little time! So whom did OMM defeat this time? Bloodthirsty lesbian Ellen Degeneres is yesterday’s news. Nope, now it is the Gay Green Lantern, and his legion of fanboys. OMM, having obviously crushed this un-superhero’s un-super agenda, [...]
Americans Are Becoming Facebook-Addicted Europeans
This morning, let’s learn about how food is turning robotic, Facebook is turning us into addicts, and the economy is turning us European. I’m pretty sure exactly none of those things would make sense a hundred years ago. There’s a bunch of new ways that food is becoming bigger and better using robots and labs [...]
We Can Now Identify History’s Dumbest Political Campaign Spokesman
Here he is, it is this guy pictured at left. This is Jay Townsend, campaign spokesman for GOP Rep. Nan Hayworth, the communications genius who managed to join a seemingly innocuous Facebook comment thread about falling gas prices on the “NY19 U.S. House of Representatives Civil Discussion Center” page and somehow abuse enough inhalants at [...]
Grover Norquist: Why Are All These Democrat Nazis Holocausting Poor Billionaire Eduardo Saverin?
Poor Eduardo Saverin! All he wanted to do was renounce his American citizenship, coincidentally shortly before a big honkin’ tax bill came due from his Facebook public offering or something (we don’t know, it was all the news there was on Friday, which brought our cherished Internet to a dumb screeching halt). And then mean [...]
Reverse Racism! Young White Person Unjustly Profiled For Wearing Hoodie
How many times will this tragedy repeat itself? A young person with great potential and maybe a few minor misdeeds in his past tries to go somewhere that he as an American has every right to go. But immediately the small-time powers in that land view him with mistrust, all because he chooses to wear [...]
Sarah Palin Right About A Thing
What’s this, what’s this? Former halfterm governor and sexy grandma Sarah Palin opened her permanently lip-linered lips and words came out and they were not lies, for a while! Somebody call an ambulance, Sarah Palin might have been having a stroke! The shockingly true words spilled forth after the Washington Post reported that one of [...]
Library Of Congress Employee Fired After Liking ‘Two Dads’ Facebook Page
A couple of years back, Library of Congress employee Peter TerVeer liked a page on Facebook called ‘Two Dads,’ which, as you might gather, is intended to promote the gay and lesbian community. This had the effect of outing TerVeer to his boss and coworkers. Weeell, that didn’t go so well, as TerVeer’s boss, John [...]
NOPD Suspends Racist Cop for Proving It With Invite to ‘Join Trayvon Martin in Hell’
Hi, racist New Orleans cop? The Fifth Amendment called and wanted to remind you of your right to not incriminate yourself by posting comments, on Facebook, under your name, while on desk duty for your role in another shooting, about Trayvon Martin being “in Hell,” YOU STUPID FUCKING RACIST CRACKER.
George Allen Again Victimized by Functioning Video Camera (VIDEO)
Past and future failed Senate candidate George Allen held a Facebook town-hall with Virginia shut-ins and others who could not click the “X” button in time. Okay, wait. Were we not explicitly promised that the 2006 clip of Allen calling a rival campaign staffer “macaca” was THE END of his political career, which at one [...]
Racist Teabagger Calls For Assassination of Entire Obama Family
They just don’t come more charming than Southern California Tea Party knob and failed local politician Jules Manson, previously known for not being elected as a councilman for the City of Carson and also for posting Obama=Hitler pictures. Jules Manson was not done with his Internet fame, however. Because now he has issued a CALL [...]
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