[HEY KEN why do you HATE ME? -- A Colleague] [Because I wrote my version 12 hours ago and you should have maybe seen it scheduled to post since last night? -- A Supervisor] Guess who jumped on the “Facebook status-update health-care thing” pretty quick? That’s right, Barack Obama is thrilled to see that educated money-having Facebook internet people are putting the do-gooder thing on their Facebooks. [Thanks to "Noam L." for the tip!]

Oh my god, you tool! But how could he have been encouraged by something he clearly never read? The crucial step — “If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day” — goes ignored. IT WAS NEVER HIS STATUS. He clearly supports the mullahs in Iran over the students in Iran or whatever. Unless this thing is his “status”? Or is this just the “wall”? Was this a “Facebook Wall Meme” all along and no one reported it? Your editor signed up for this DAMN THING in early 2004, and it was just like, “click this button to be ‘friends’ with whatever idiot,” and nothing else, and it was only available to a few colleges, and now what?, Obama writes PORN on it about how weird he is. [Facebook]

Wonkette Internet-reading operative “Robert” informs us of the latest “Facebook Status Meme” everyone’s business consulting and 2nd-year corporate litigation law student friends have been dutifully spreading all day. It goes like: “[YOUR NAME] thinks that no one should die because they cannot afford health care, and no one should go broke because they get sick. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.” But what color are we supposed to tint our Twitter thumbnail pictures? Is there anything else we need to click on before heading to class??

Here is a tip regarding your old friend The Facebook: if you are employed, by anyone, do not use it. It will get you fired. This is especially true if you work in politics or serve in any political-type role, such as deputy press secretary to Manhattan borough president Scott Stringer. MORE »

Oh great, now you cretins have ruined the Facebook experience of a Nobel-prize-winning physicist who is saving America from Energy Problems, when he’s not cooking or trying to learn golf. MORE »

We’ve been sort of obsessed with Sarah Palin’s Facebook and Twitter pages, but maybe some other Republicans have recently used the popular “social racism” networks, too. Let’s check the Wonkette tips …. Ah, here’s one right there at the top of the Inbox. As usual. Because this is what Republicans do: “Racist ‘humor,’ the Internet, and political ambitions don’t mix. Audra Shay, vice chairman of the Young Republicans and the leading candidate to be elected its chairman on Saturday, is now the latest in a growing list of GOP officials learning this lesson the hard way ….” MORE »

Oh jesus. Ken is out of the office today, so the task befalls another editor to cover his ever-popular “racist minor-league GOP operative” beat. A buffoon out of South Carolina thought it would be a good idea to post some thing on Facebook comparing Michelle Obama to a gorilla, proving once again why Republicans should not have access to dangerous electronic devices such as computers, which they employ for the sole purpose of embarrassing themselves. MORE »

Oh noes for California attorney general Jerry Brown — yes the same one who was governor of California, in the 1970s, and fought (Bill) Clinton all the way to the convention for the ‘92 nomination. Somebody stole two of the wheels off his government car! Or maybe just the tires. Anyway, tragedy. Or not! He somehow got new tires for his government car. He is running for governor again, too. You can support his candidacy, somehow, by clicking something on his Facebook page. [Facebook]

Oh hot dang, somebody got ahold of an old-fashioned talky device called a “telephone” and called the mayor of the fancifully named Dallas, Georgia to learn what he meant when he posted something on Facebook about Obama giving Gordon Brown “a quart of the Bull.” Was this horrible racism? And does it mean that your editor is hopelessly old and naive that the first thing she thought of when she heard “the Bull” was Red Bull? MORE »

We all know that the Republicans control Twitter, but it looks like they’re working on Facebook now. It would be astonishing, though, if the failed committee responsible for losing more than a dozen Senate seats in the last two elections were to get 2 “supporters” on Facebook. [Twitter via Blue Gal]

• Obama will get to keep his precious BlackBerry after all, except he be using some weird fancy encrypted BlackBerry that Michelle will buy for him from J.Crew. [Marc Ambinder]
• The victims of yesterday’s tragic inconvenience, in which some earnest hippies were stuck underground for a bit and then later turned away from their Inauguration “seats”, have started a totally unexpected Facebook group. These people are the real heroes. [Ben Smith]
• National idiot Chris Wallace isn’t sure that this Barack Obama is technically even President, what his native Muslim tongue being unable to properly pronounce our American words in their decent, Christian order. [Crooks and Liars]
• People pretty much agree that the Benediction was way better than Warren’s Invocation because Warren would not shut up about Jesus [Christ] and Lowery was pleasingly vague. [AMERICAblog]
• The confirmation of Eric Holder was supposed to be a done deal today, but Republicans want to delay a bit so that he will not jail the entire government for all their dedicated years of torturing. [Politico]