Here is your annual bit of foreign news from the foreign country of France! France’s “President”—think: the equivalent of America’s “minority whip”—Nicolas Sarkozy posted a Facebook photo on his French Facebook in which he is shown personally destroying the Berlin Wall with a Nicolas Sarkozy-sized ax. Except according to historical evidence dating back to November 9th, 1989 A.D., Sarkozy was actually in Paris at the time. According to European-style geography, it would have been impossible for Sarkozy to be both in Paris and also knocking down the Berlin Wall, located in Berlin. MORE »

See, there’s TwitPic Proof that he was, at one point, answering one question on a Facebook thread. He has yet to respond to either of your editors. Try your luck! [Facebook]

• SARAH PALIN’S MOST INSPIRATIONAL FACEBOOK PROSE YET: It puts a tear or zero in our eyes on this, this historic election day that no one cares about: “Please take time today to exercise the right that so many people fought to secure for us. In considering these east coast races, it occurred to me that Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and so many of the women who fought to give future generations the right to vote hailed from these states.” In other words, as her hero Susan B. Anthony once said, “Vote with your vag, ladies.” Today, this means voting for an asexual robot male in Virginia, Glenn Beck’s male wingnut bitch in New York, and the fattest male goblin alive in New Jersey. [Sarah Palin's Facebook]

Queen Birther mop-head and famed lawyer-dentist Orly Taitz has some big news on her website: OMG OMG SARAH PALIN ACCEPTED!! So awesome! [Orly Taitz Esq.]

• SARAH PALIN STALKING YOUNG TEEN GIRLS: “As I stand here in a high school gymnasium watching freshmen girls’ basketball games, I’m struck by the sight of America’s future right in front of me - these tenacious young women full of energy and intensity. I want them to realize every opportunity this great, free nation can provide.” [...Babbles for a few paragraphs about Republican gubernatorial candidates...] “The young student athletes I’m watching right now are counting on us to do the right thing - to fight for what is right for America today and into their future.” This is clearly a veiled critique of Barack Obama’s hatred of ladies on the basketball court. [Sarah Palin Facebook Notes!]

Sure, you can’t prevent any old dingbat from loading a “fan foto” to your Facebook fan page. But my oh my, what fans the RNC has! [Raw Story]

Looks like the RNC is still trying to give this “Internet” thing a go: “With an ever-increasing number of Czar appointments by President Obama, it has become clear that no position is too absurd. In an effort to assist in adding another cumbersome bureaucratic layer to government and to help properly ensure the basic human right of friendship to all Americans, a new Friendship Fairness Czar has recently been appointed. Tasked with the daunting responsibility of making sure that every Facebook user is equal, this new Czar will help redistribute the wealth of friendship from those who are too popular to those who are poor in friends.” Ha ha because Facebook friends are like “grocery money,” essentially! [GOP.com]

Here’s a wacky poll from the Facebook over the weekend. The Secret Service were informed and are now looking to kill the shit out of someone, perhaps the person who created this poll. MORE »

For this post we shall refer to that old axiom by the famous scholar, Jesus X. Christ: Before the socialist speech there came the socialist discussion, during which socialism was Made. This was the case today, when Barack Obama held a secret session with the children of Wakeview High School in Arlington, Virginia, to talk about how dumb they all are, before addressing the nation on the same topic. It was there that he gave the students the most important career advice available in this day and age: don’t write racist shit or whatever on your Facebook page. MORE »

[HEY KEN why do you HATE ME? -- A Colleague] [Because I wrote my version 12 hours ago and you should have maybe seen it scheduled to post since last night? -- A Supervisor] Guess who jumped on the “Facebook status-update health-care thing” pretty quick? That’s right, Barack Obama is thrilled to see that educated money-having Facebook internet people are putting the do-gooder thing on their Facebooks. [Thanks to "Noam L." for the tip!]

Oh my god, you tool! But how could he have been encouraged by something he clearly never read? The crucial step — “If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day” — goes ignored. IT WAS NEVER HIS STATUS. He clearly supports the mullahs in Iran over the students in Iran or whatever. Unless this thing is his “status”? Or is this just the “wall”? Was this a “Facebook Wall Meme” all along and no one reported it? Your editor signed up for this DAMN THING in early 2004, and it was just like, “click this button to be ‘friends’ with whatever idiot,” and nothing else, and it was only available to a few colleges, and now what?, Obama writes PORN on it about how weird he is. [Facebook]