Tag Archives: facebook

  malarky

Little Kid Obama Hater Shut Down by Facebook, Totally Nails Conservative Victimhood

He seems nice
DC News FOX 5 DC WTTG Guys! You remember new conservative underage heartthrob CJ Pearson, the 12-year-old Georgia kid who made this viral YouTube thing and who just knows that Rudy Giuliani was right that Obama hates ’Murica, because he hasn’t gone sufficiently last-half-of-Man of Steel on ISIS? (Yeah, I know, the president is bombing the shit out of them, details.) This, of course, got Sean Hannity’s America into a tither, because the kid is a) black, which means Even The Blacks are starting to see Obama for who he really is, and b) they always have a hard-on (figuratively!) for preteens who say and/or write dumb, mean things about Obama. Read more on Little Kid Obama Hater Shut Down by Facebook, Totally Nails Conservative Victimhood…
  He May Not Have Thought This One Through

Murder Of 3 Muslims Was Hate Crime Against Christians, Says Nutbag Christian

Retroactive Christians
Never one to miss the chance to make a tragedy just a little more awful, Colorado wingnut preacher/state legislator Gordon “Disgraced former chaplain ‘Dr. Chaps'” Klingenschmitt has decided that the terrible murder of three Muslim students in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, proves that Christians are in mortal danger in U.S. America. Read more on Murder Of 3 Muslims Was Hate Crime Against Christians, Says Nutbag Christian…
  Demons gonna read Harry Potter to your ultrasound babbies

Pat Robertson: Witches Might Curse Your Ultrasound Babbies If You Post Them On Facebook

We at the Wonkette don’t like to talk about every single stupid thing Pat Robertson says, because that would be a full website in and of itself, but man oh man, once in a while, Pat brings us some wisdom that we MUST, by law, share with you. One of Pat’s viewers, Cynthia, is very excited because she is going to be a grandmommy soon, but she is worried, because all the young kids with the Facebooks and the Obama phones are constantly posting pictures of their ultrasounds, so that everybody can be confused by what they’re looking at together. Cynthia would like to know if this is a sin or not. Read more on Pat Robertson: Witches Might Curse Your Ultrasound Babbies If You Post Them On Facebook…
  All The Noose That's Fit To Photoshop

Deeply Stupid Small Business ‘Seasalt & Co’ Will Sue You For Bitching Bout Its Sweet Lynching Ad (Updated)

What? It's just a picture.
Update: Since this story broke, Seasalt & Co. has removed all posts after February 14 from its Facebook page. See end of post for more. So here’s a nice little case study for your How Not To Do Corporate Communications, Ever textbook, and if Yr. Dok Zoom were still teaching business writing, he’d probably get at least one or two class periods out of it. You got this little Florida-based computer graphics concern called “Seasalt & Company,” where you “offer Photographic Editing Tools to help artisans creativity thrive.” Which is to say, you sell Photoshop add-ons that adjust the lighting and color of photos. You have a new package of somegodddamnedtechthing coming out (really, REALLY unclear, Seasalt & Co!), and you announce it on your Facebook page with the big mysterious teaser pictured above. Read more on Deeply Stupid Small Business ‘Seasalt & Co’ Will Sue You For Bitching Bout Its Sweet Lynching Ad (Updated)…
  People Are Horrible: An Ongoing Series

Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims

Retroactive Christians
Congratulations, America, we have a whole new terrible murder to turn into a debating point in the Culture Wars! And just to mix things up a bit, the victims were three Muslim students (all of them apparently smart over-achievers who should have had beautiful lives ahead of them), and the accused killer is described variously as an “atheist,” a “radical atheist,” or a “crazed progressive atheist.” Read more on Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims…
  Ecce Jocko Homo

Vermont Proposes Official Latin Motto, Wingnuts Tell Vermont To Go Back To Mexico

Now write it down a hundred times. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.
Here’s a sweet little story of Democracy in Action. A bright eighth grader writes to her state legislator with an idea for a law: Vermont doesn’t have an official Latin motto, so why not adopt one? And for that matter, make it a reference to history? Neato! Read more on Vermont Proposes Official Latin Motto, Wingnuts Tell Vermont To Go Back To Mexico…
  UNFOLLOW POST

Gays Now Rudely Getting Nekkid On Persecuted Christian News Feeds

Here, wingnuts, you might need this.
Fundamentalist Christians sure have it tough these days, and if you were listening to hate group leader Tony Perkins’s radio programme the other day — which of course you were — you learned that the LGBTs (it’s pronounced “legbots”) have opened a new front in the battle for worldwide gayness, by sneaking right into unsuspecting wingnuts’ Facebook news feeds and just gettin’ NEKKID: Read more on Gays Now Rudely Getting Nekkid On Persecuted Christian News Feeds…
  In Case You Missed it

Wonkette Week In Review: Everything You Need To Be Well-Informed, Mostly

That was a pretty good issue
Here at Wonkette, we love the weekend — it’s a chance to stop slaving in the Content Mines, sit back and look at what we’ve done, and with any luck hide the evidence before the authorities arrive. And so we’re proud to bring you the ten best stories of the past week, which is to say the ten most-shared on the Facebook, for social media buzz is what gladdens our mercenary little hearts. Don’t see one of your favorites here? Make sure you hit that “share” button, so the world knows that you are With It and also a hep cat. You are a hep cat, aren’t you? Read more on Wonkette Week In Review: Everything You Need To Be Well-Informed, Mostly…
  Mah Raghts!

Gun Nuts Just Want Mom’s Address To Say Howdy, Probably

More evidence that open carry is in the Napoleon-in-Russia phase of its campaign for gun rights most people never asked for and don’t want: a now-deleted tweet from prominent Texas open carry nut and alleged airline pilot Eric Reed: How’s that month-old frozen horse meat tasting today, Eric? (Astute readers may recognize one Robert J. “Raging Rob” Kinnison in the reply. He’s the guy who likes to tell people to put dicks in their mouths and shut up.) Read more on Gun Nuts Just Want Mom’s Address To Say Howdy, Probably…
  In Case You Missed it

Wonkette Week In Review: The Best Of Our Site, Wrapped In Bread Bags

Wait, she lets her kid stand WHERE?
Been feeling a little deflated? Pump yourself up with the best of Yr Wonkette’s week, as chosen by You The Readers — the very lifeblood of our little ol’ mommyblog, recipe hub, and pony emporium. Here we have the top ten most-shared stories of the week…eleven actually, thanks to a tie! Don’t see a favorite story here? Make sure to share your faves to the Facebook, and thereby the world will know that you are a person who has both great discernment and a computer mouse. Read more on Wonkette Week In Review: The Best Of Our Site, Wrapped In Bread Bags…
  In Case You Missed it

Wonkette Week In Review: Don’t Miss This Essential Reading

Try 'Watership Down,' they said. It's about rabbits, they said. Phooey.
Image from Photobucket If there’s anything nicer than catching up with some good reading on a Saturday, we don’t know what it is. Here, take a gander at the top stories of the week, as chosen by You The Readers, or at least by You The People What Shared Stories On Facebook. Don’t see a favorite story here? You need to make sure to share those suckers and get ‘em all viral and stuff! And so, we proudly bring you our Top Ten stories of the week past: Read more on Wonkette Week In Review: Don’t Miss This Essential Reading…
  Semi-Automatic Assumptions

‘Muslim-Free’ Gun Range Lady Bans South Asian Dudes, Is Definitely Not Racist

She seems as nice as ever.
Surely nobody could have seen this coming! You remember Jan Morgan, that nice lady who declared her Hot Springs, Arkansas, gun range a Muslim-Free Zone, because of all the violence and beheadings that the Muslims are always up to — not to mention the unnerving Muslim ringtones on their phones? It turns out that she’s still quite happily running a Muslim-free establishment, and everything’s just great! Oh, and she has a great method for deciding who’s a Muslim and who isn’t: good old racial profiling. Read more on ‘Muslim-Free’ Gun Range Lady Bans South Asian Dudes, Is Definitely Not Racist…
  In Case You Missed it

Wonkette Week In Review: All Our Best, According To The Usual Gang Of Idiots — You!

We'd credit this if we could. Sucker's everywhere on the interwebs
Feeling uninformed? Who could blame you with all the infotainment options of today’s modern world? Here, catch up on the week with the very best of Yr Wonkette, or at least our most-shared stories on the Facebooks, which is how the world works, isn’t it? Don’t see a favorite story? Click “share” harder next time, and spread the word of Wonkette, so that we might dominate social media! Also, it’s a Science Fact that sharing Wonkette stories to Facebook is gluten-free. Read more on Wonkette Week In Review: All Our Best, According To The Usual Gang Of Idiots — You!…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments: Alas, We Have Offended A Sensitive Soul (Or Men’s Rights Activist, Same Difference)

How can we ever win back the trust of an offended MRA? Perhaps with ponies?
Your Wonkette isn’t perfect, lord only knows, and when we err, we seek to make amends. Which brings us to this very important message from our comments queue, from “jrayhawk” (please, no Ray Jay Johnson jokes), who felt that we treated the subject of a recent story quite shabbily. Friday, we ran a story about several important developments in gender relations, including the sad tale of Scott Aaronson, a professor at MIT who has pretty much had it with how feminists have criminalized every last aspect of male sexuality. Jrayhawk felt that we failed to give Aaronson an even break because we sided with the mean women instead of with their victim: Read more on Deleted Comments: Alas, We Have Offended A Sensitive Soul (Or Men’s Rights Activist, Same Difference)…
  In Case You Missed it

Wonkette Week in Review: Holiday Content That’s Still Under Warranty

After unpacking, you'll be finding foam peanuts for months
You know what’s irritating? People who keep pointing out that, because of the completely routine passage of time, every something or other is the first whatever of the new year. And so, happy First Weekend of 2015, everybody! Here is your first Wonkette Top Ten of the New Year! Yes, most of these pieces ran way back in 2014, shut up. We had a shorter publishing week than usual, what with the merry-making of New Year’s Eve and Day, but we definitely published at least ten stories, so here are the top of them, among those shared on the Facebook. Don’t see one of your favorites here? Maybe you should resolve to click “share” more in the new year. Read more on Wonkette Week in Review: Holiday Content That’s Still Under Warranty…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

This White Lady In Body Armor Shot All Her Neighbors And Lived To Tell! Your Gun Fun Holiday Roundup!

awwwwwww
Time for another of our periodic check-ins with the good guys what carry guns and keep us safe from tyranny with their steadfast devotion to Responsible Gun Ownership. First off, we have an inspiring tale from Texas, where Friend of Liberty Martin Gaytan regularly posted about his love of guns on Facebook, including a June repost of this inspiring and irrefutable case for why every American needs a gun: Read more on This White Lady In Body Armor Shot All Her Neighbors And Lived To Tell! Your Gun Fun Holiday Roundup!…
  In Case You Missed it

Wonkette Week In Review: Look At This Stuff In Your Stockings

Then the foolish children played with their new toys and ruined their collector value.
It’s the Saturday portion of your 4-day weekend, America! Time to look back and see what you may have missed during all that last-minute shopping and/or Warmaking On Christmas. And so, here are the ten most-shared stories of our somewhat abbreviated week, from the Facebook. Don’t see a favorite here? Well ain’t you a picky one who didn’t click “share” enough! A little late for regrets now, isn’t it? Also, what were you thinking when you got that tattoo? But yes, do “share” the stories you like, that they mayst be seen by all and bringeth us pageviews, amen. Read more on Wonkette Week In Review: Look At This Stuff In Your Stockings…
  In Case You Missed it

Wonkette Week In Review: Yule Want To See The Week’s Best Stories

A young gentile Al Franken reads a book to kids
Happy Festivus weekend, Wonkers! Hope you’re ready for the Airing of Grievances! Our greatest grievance is, of course, that we can only bring Wonkette to you a mere 7 days a week, and worse, on some of those days, you may still miss some of our Wonkings because of things like a “job,” a “family,” or a “life.” Happily, the weekend is a great time to catch up on some of our best stuff, and so we bring you this feature, in which we count down the ten best stories of the week — or at least most-shared on the Facebooks, which is pretty much the same thing. Don’t see your favorite story here? Maybe your tastes are not in line with those of your peers. Have you considered conformity? Oh, or you could make a point of clicking “share” a bunch more! That may be an even better way to express your individuality, you exceptional American, you. Read more on Wonkette Week In Review: Yule Want To See The Week’s Best Stories…
  Somewhere Out There Katherine Harris Is Salivating

Jeb Bush May Bless Us With Presidential Run

He's just so dreamy
In a Christmas present for America, former Florida Gov. Jeb “The Smart One. No Really” Bush announced Tuesday that he will “actively explore the possibility” of a presidential run, because his country needs him a whole lot. Taking to the traditional platform for such announcements, Twitter and Facebook — late-night talk shows are so over — the passionate nonentity said that the topic just sort of naturally came up at the Thanksgiving dinner table, as is the norm in American families: Read more on Jeb Bush May Bless Us With Presidential Run…
  In Case You Missed it

Wonkette Week In Review: How On Earth Did You Miss These Stories?

Oh, there's good stuff in here.
We understand. We know how it is. You’re out there every day, holding together the shaky scaffolding of reality, keeping the world as we know it from disintegrating into chaos, doing your part against entropy. Or at least keeping that jackhole from Accounts Receivable from getting the last cruller. In the midst of all that, you may not have time to check Wonkette every moment of the day, and so there may be stories that you missed. Thankfully, that’s what a Saturday is for. To put up your feet, look back over the detritus of the week, and see what dick jokes there were to be had. And so, we present to you these ten stories, chosen by The Masses with the wisdom of crowds, or at least the whims of clicking “share” on Facebook. Don’t see one of your favorites here? We don’t have to answer to people who don’t share, buster. Read more on Wonkette Week In Review: How On Earth Did You Miss These Stories?…
  Only To Find Gideon's Bible

Nice Georgia Elementary School Giving All Its Children The Gift Of Jesus, Hooray!

Wrong Rocky Raccoon. (I take a 7 1/2)
A Georgia elementary school is doing something innovative for its students — no, silly, it’s not trying innovative methods for teaching math or getting kids excited about science. Instead, it’s inviting the Gideons into the school library and having kids line up to get their very own Bibles, which are apparently in such short supply in Georgia that volunteers are needed to hand them out in public schools. But hey, at least they’re promoting literacy by taking the kids to the library, maybe. Read more on Nice Georgia Elementary School Giving All Its Children The Gift Of Jesus, Hooray!…