When the phone rings in Texas or Ohio at 3 a.m., Wonkette’s sponsors will answer in a way that sounds very “can do” and serious, even if it’s just their drunk uncle calling to talk about this waitress he saw at Hooters. This week we thank:

• Kenneth Cole
• Mini
• New York Times Travel
• Unscrew America
• Uwishunu.com

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George W. Bush Presidential Jacket Library [FunnyOrDie]

We are the sponsors we’ve been waiting for. No, actually, these fine businesses are the actual sponsors. Yes They Can! MORE »

This is one of Hillary’s only funny speeches. But dear god, the Cackle at the end is just not cool.

FRED ARMISEN IS BARACK OBAMA: Yeah, Saturday Night Live’s much-anticipated version of Barack Obama was a scowly Fred Armisen who kept waving his left index finger around. Meh. [NYT]

Christmas came ten months early this morning, when the Internet’s Matt Drudge claimed that some Clinton staffers had circulated this fantastic photo over the weekend of Barack Obama in his element on a trip to Kenya in 2006. Obama campaign manager David Plouffe slammed the Clinton campaign for “shameful offensive fear-mongering,” when really it’s just kind of funny. [Drudge Report]

Sure, your Wonkette has had its share of editors over these five long years, but we want to categorically deny the evil liberal Washington Post claims that Hillary Clinton is, in fact, the Wonkette.

There’s the Beef [Washington Post] MORE »

The presumptive frontrunners all thank Wonkette’s wonderful sponsors, who have never shied away from writing a letter to the FCC in our favor: MORE »

Wonkette operative “Kerry” from “Maui” reports: MORE »

Just in time for Mike Huckabee to lose the Wisconsin primary and every other primary or caucus yet to come (except maybe Texas!), here is another “Obama girl” knockoff video featuring some gal twirling around and singing about her crush on a presidential candidate. It’s 80% dull liberal mockery of religious people and 20% awesome dinosaur riding. [YouTube]

Wonkette operative 92BuickLeSabre snapped this photo of Jailbreak Toys‘ Barack Obama prototype at Toy Fair 2008. He writes: MORE »