Tag Archives: extend=true

 

Wonkette Sponsors Aren’t Bitter At All

Thanks to Wonkette’s new advertisers on our just-launched new BlogAds! We will skip the hilarious political joke in this week’s sponsor note to mention that this whole Wonkette site is up and moving to its new hosting home very shortly, at which point every ad space on this here gossip blog will be exclusively sold by our friends at BlogAds, who invented the Blog Ad. (That means they’ll also be at the top of the page, and we will say farewell to Gawker network ads and those Gawker Artists who scare you so much.) Anyway, thanks this week to: Read more on Wonkette Sponsors Aren’t Bitter At All…
 

Michelle Obama: Very Hot, Pretty Funny

Here is your Michelle Obama, on the Colbert Report. And, well, jesus, she is very hot. Sure, she’s also some kind of Law School Professor, and will “help people,” and all that, but this is still an entertaining clip. Read more on Michelle Obama: Very Hot, Pretty Funny…
 

Breaking News On Jenna Bush’s Wedding Dress!

Bitter queens, perk up your ears: Jenna Bush will wear a dress designed by Oscar de la Renta to her wedding on May 10. Oscar de la Renta mostly designs dresses for middle-aged women like Jenna’s mom. Jenna will probably go strapless, like a tart. [Reliable Source] Read more on Breaking News On Jenna Bush’s Wedding Dress!…
 

Barack Obama Calls Chris Matthews (And Cable News) A Joke

Chris Matthews’ beloved Hardball show had been visiting yet another demographic that has no interest in political shows on cable television: College kids! But it was a lot of fun for everyone, especially when Matthews’ wacky light-hearted question ended up being a total setup for Obama to call him a jackass. [Campaign Circus] Read more on Barack Obama Calls Chris Matthews (And Cable News) A Joke…
 

Wonkette Sponsors Dodged Sniper Fire At TGIF

We bow our heads to our advertisers, who would never videotape that kind of stuff with 500 different escorts, maybe. Honda Fit Mini Unscrew America Uwishunu.com VW Ready to smell the glove? Click here to learn the fun details! Read more on Wonkette Sponsors Dodged Sniper Fire At TGIF…
 

Wonkette Sponsors Will Take This Fight All The Way To Denver

If it means destroying the Democratic Party and letting John McCain blow up the entire universe, then that’s what Wonkette’s loyal, steadfast advertisers will do, because they understand destiny: American Apparel Read more on Wonkette Sponsors Will Take This Fight All The Way To Denver…
 

Shocking Bosnia Video Proves Hillary Told The Truth!

This thrilling Hillary-In-Bosnia video is apparently from the same people who make the “Obama Girl” videos, and now we love them because this is awesome. But we don’t see Sinbad anywhere, so it must be a fake. [YouTube] Read more on Shocking Bosnia Video Proves Hillary Told The Truth!…
 

This Probably Isn’t The Eliot Spitzer/Ashley-Kristen Sex Tape

Or is it? NOTICE: You must watch to the very end. The very end. And this is all you get because Ashley’s Girls Gone Wild embarrassment will be forever sealed (until it’s leaked on the Internet this weekend) because it turns out she was only 17, the end. [Thanks Pareene!] Read more on This Probably Isn’t The Eliot Spitzer/Ashley-Kristen Sex Tape…
 

Wonkette Sponsors Are Ashamed Of Their Grandmas In Kansas

Wonkette’s high-class advertisers would never do a trashy photo shoot for US Weekly, because they’re from a new hopeful generation. American Apparel Mini Unscrew America Uwishunu.com Want to meet Wonkette’s elite readership in the fancy hotel cocktail lounge so the security guard keeps quiet? Just click here for all the steamy details. Read more on Wonkette Sponsors Are Ashamed Of Their Grandmas In Kansas…
 

Video Proof Of George W. Bush Dancing, Again

Remember the hilarious dance routine Bush did last week to distract us all from his endorsement of Elderly nut John McCain? There is video proof, thanks to the Associated Press! Enjoy this while we wait for the video of Bush’s gay-cowboy Broadway debut. [Associated Press] Read more on Video Proof Of George W. Bush Dancing, Again…
 

Barack Obama Is Building A Religion

Our tipster “Scott” writes, “What did we ever do before we had the series of tubes?” It is a wonderful era, one in which every stoned thought will indeed be published, or at least thrown together in a video clip and put to the music of a weird band called “Cake.” Obama – Building a Religion [YouTube] Read more on Barack Obama Is Building A Religion…
 

Wonkette Sponsors Have All The Delegates They Need

When the phone rings in Texas or Ohio at 3 a.m., Wonkette’s sponsors will answer in a way that sounds very “can do” and serious, even if it’s just their drunk uncle calling to talk about this waitress he saw at Hooters. This week we thank: Read more on Wonkette Sponsors Have All The Delegates They Need…
 

Wonkette’s Advertisers Wear Briefs Over Boxers

We are the sponsors we’ve been waiting for. No, actually, these fine businesses are the actual sponsors. Yes They Can! * Kenneth Cole * Mini * Uwishunu.com Interested in being a superdelegate of advertising? Click here for information! Read more on Wonkette’s Advertisers Wear Briefs Over Boxers…
 

FRED ARMISEN IS BARACK OBAMA: Yeah, Saturday Night Live‘s much-anticipated version of Barack Obama was a scowly Fred Armisen who kept waving his left index finger around. Meh. [NYT]
 

Clinton Staffers Pull Trigger On Hilarious Racism

Christmas came ten months early this morning, when the Internet’s Matt Drudge claimed that some Clinton staffers had circulated this fantastic photo over the weekend of Barack Obama in his element on a trip to Kenya in 2006. Obama campaign manager David Plouffe slammed the Clinton campaign for “shameful offensive fear-mongering,” when really it’s just kind of funny. [Drudge Report] Read more on Clinton Staffers Pull Trigger On Hilarious Racism…
 

Washington Post Claims Hillary Is Wonkette!

Sure, your Wonkette has had its share of editors over these five long years, but we want to categorically deny the evil liberal Washington Post claims that Hillary Clinton is, in fact, the Wonkette. There’s the Beef [Washington Post] Read more on Washington Post Claims Hillary Is Wonkette!…
 

Wonkette Sponsors Did NOT Have Sex With That Lobbyist

The presumptive frontrunners all thank Wonkette’s wonderful sponsors, who have never shied away from writing a letter to the FCC in our favor: * Independent Spirit Awards * Kenneth Cole * Mini * Uwishunu.com Read more on Wonkette Sponsors Did NOT Have Sex With That Lobbyist…
 

Report From Maui: Record Turnout! Obamaui!

Wonkette operative “Kerry” from “Maui” reports: No real gauge here — I’m on Maui — but the turnout even in little Makawao Town is so huge that they are keeping the polling stations open late into the Hula Moon. We were in traffic for more than 30 minutes — covered 3 miles — and were turned away and asked to come back and vote right about now. And please be sure to keep in mind just what “huge” might mean in a one road town on a 727.2 square mile island in the middle of the Pacific… one that is mostly cane fields, a national park, and a Walmart. Read more on Report From Maui: Record Turnout! Obamaui!…
 

Mike Huckabee Tribute Video, Now Featuring Dinosaurs!

Just in time for Mike Huckabee to lose the Wisconsin primary and every other primary or caucus yet to come (except maybe Texas!), here is another “Obama girl” knockoff video featuring some gal twirling around and singing about her crush on a presidential candidate. It’s 80% dull liberal mockery of religious people and 20% awesome dinosaur riding. [YouTube] Read more on Mike Huckabee Tribute Video, Now Featuring Dinosaurs!…