Michelle Obama is worse than Cindy McCain times Sarah Palin divided by Imelda Marcos times one million. Her election-night earrings cost a reported $11,000 — approximately twice what a healthy human kidney will fetch on the black market! This is a relevant metric because next year we will all be selling our kidneys to make rent, until we burn down our rental dwellings for firewood. Meanwhile, the Obamas will be sitting in the White House feasting on precious gems and fillets of endangered species. [New York Magazine/British Vogue]

Last week Sarah Palin was exposed as a vulgar fraud for parading around various poor white trash rallies in gazillion-dollar suits made by foreign elite gays and financed by a shadowy hedonist cabal called “the RNC”. She didn’t say anything about this terrible scandal for a while, because she trusted American voters would be more concerned about “real issues” like Barack Obama’s terrorist pals, who include Karl Marx. But after a few days of bad press she started saying things like, “These clothes isn’t mines,” and by this weekend she had reverted to wearing tragic street urchins’ rags to show she is a Real Pro-America American. MORE »

This is totally not change we can believe in! Some poor reporter in Indiana followed Barack Obama around all day on a bus and the Obama campaign billed his employer OVER FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS for that wonderful privilege. Some of the bill applied to transportation and supplies but over $100 was for food — which the reporter ate very little of, because who can work up an appetite for anything except man candy when Our Barry is around? MORE »