Tag: ex-gay

Pat Robertson Teaches How To Hate Your Gay Kid Real Good This Thanksgiving

This post originally ran in the Olden Timey Days of just a few weeks ago, but now we think it might be a Thanksgiving tradition! Curl up in your snuggie with your first cocktail of Thanksgiving morning, and learn...
Fights against the gay agenda during divorce filings.

Help, My Husband Is A Homosexual! I Can Have GoFundMe Bigot Bucks Now?

In recent months, aggrieved fundamentalists have turned grifting into an absolute artform. Did a mean homogay come into your flower shop wanting to buy flowers? GoFundMe. Did a terrible nasty lesbian lady ask you, a cake-baker, to bake a...
Thinking face.

Pat Robertson Teaches How To Hate Your Gay Kid Real Good This Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is such a nice time! (Unless you hate it.) You get to see your family, or whatever family you've created for yourself, and they shove eleventy thousand pounds of food in your face and then you take a...
Nope, sorry, doesn't work, all these dudes still like dick.

Nation Braces For Dick-Filled Sex Festival Known As ‘Ex-Gay Awareness Month’

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me. I once was gay, but now I'm into snatch OMG LOL it's my favorite just kidding EW NASTY. (Ancient "ex-gay" hymn) Hey boys, time to dismount from the strange dick you found...
Maybe this is happening because Jesus hates you.

Oh No, Josh Duggar’s Cheatin’ Penis Makes The Family Values Crowd Look Bad!

Oh no, Josh Duggar has strayed from his Christian marriage by getting on the internet to find strange hoo-ha to dip his Duggar Stick into, and the Family Research Council, AKA the Southern Poverty Law Center-designated "family values" hate group where...
My name is Kim and I'm a total dick, how may be of no help to you today?

Dumb Kentucky Clerk Sues For Religious Freedom To Suck At Her Job

Over the last month or so, most holdout county clerks have at least begun to acquiesce to the idea that yes, there gays in America and yes, those gays can get married now (to each other!), and if you...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Activist Court Says De-Gaying Hot Naked Dudes Is ‘Fraud’ Somehow

Greetings to all you salacious sodomite sinners! Once again we are proud to present your weekly compilation of the latest and greatest in news of the supernatural, the supernormal, and the superdumb. It's the Snake Oil Bulletin! No doubt you deviants...
Marco Rubio may very well believe this is happening right now, in the sky.

Surprise! Marco Rubio’s Church Is Full Of Demon-Wrasslers, Gay-Haters And Creationist Derp

Marco Rubio has two churches in Miami. One, as you might imagine, is the Catholic kind, because the Cuban-American Rubio is Catholic. The other one is a ginormous Baptist affair, featuring demon-wrasslin', homo-hatin,' and a sincerely held religious belief...
He had met the circled hatemongers before, you know.

Is Indiana Gov. Mike Pence The Michael Jordan Of Hating Gays?

Hypothesis: Mike Pence Is The Michael Jordan Of Hating Gays Indiana Gov. Mike Pence did himself a right nice presser Tuesday morning, wherein he explained that he is Not Sorry for signing the Fuck The Gays bill, which he does...

The Pat Robertson-Approved 12 Steps To Not Being Gay

Celebrity demon hunter and professional old nag Pat Robertson has some ideas about what to do about the gay. Surprise: it's ex-gay rehab! On a recent edition of his teevee show "Christian Persecution Daily," Pat answered a letter from a distraught...
"Is that a Book of Mormon in your pants, and if not may I touch it?"

If Your Husband’s Not Gay, He Was The Other Night (TLC Teevee Review!)

Over the past few weeks, there has been a bit of a hubbub over a teevee program on the educational network TLC by the name of "My Husband's Not Gay." Due to its depiction of Mormon men who freely...

Marcus Bachmann Rears Head To Remind Us He Exists, Still Wants To Shame Gays

We know, we know. You're chock full of Michele Bachmann derp. Couldn't eat another bite, really. But have you noshed on any nonsense from Marcus Bachmann lately? Yes, the gentler more feminine half of the Bachmann marriage gets overshadowed...

Wives! Can’t Live With ‘Em, Can Kill ‘Em, According to Charismatic ‘Ex’-Gay Christian-Orgy Cult Leader

Tyler Deaton is a handsome young man. He met his wife, Bethany, in prayer group at college. He was so charismatic that by his senior year, he'd convinced a bunch of hot dudes to leave the school-sanctioned Christian fellowship...

‘Ex-Gay’ Group Cancels Party Because Nobody Wants To Come

There is a party in the pants of "Exodus International," and nobody wants to come! And that is why the group has canceled its upcoming "Love Won Out" convention, in which ex-gay ladies show off their human male husbands,...

Jewish ‘Ex-Gay’ Group JONAH Pioneers ‘Take Off Your Pants, Touch Yourself’ Method of De-Gayification

Do you find yourself to be "gay and Jewish," but wish you could shake the "gay" part? Well, then just remove your pants, stand in front of this mirror and stroke yourself for me, and you'll be the...