Tag: evolution

it's a baby not a robot doll

Ex-Con Jim Bakker Says Planned Parenthood Sacrifices Babies For Satan, So That’s New

We have no idea how Jim Bakker returned to cable -- maybe he never went away -- but it is certainly a blessing from the Comedy Gods, because nobody does insane bullshit preacherman crazy like Bakker when his voice...
A lot, actually

Ben Carson Pretty Darn Angry At Satan For Inventing Evolution

You may have noticed by now that, for a neurosurgeon, Ben Carson is a surprisingly unscientific guy. He was first-rate at cutting into brains and making repairs, but once you get him outside the operating theater, he comes off...
Borned stupid.

Pretty Sure Bobby Jindal Just Said Ted Cruz Gives Donald Trump Snail Blowjobs

Sea snail blowjobs to exact. LIMPET blowjobs. Yes, Bobby Jindal, a presidential candidate in only the loosest sense of the word, seems to be trying to get somebody, ANYBODY, to give him attention in advance of tonight's presidential debate,...
Marriage is fun!

Snake Oil Bulletin: God Frees Tax-Criming Creationist From Slammer Right On Time, Praise Jesus!

Greetings and consternation, friends! It's time once again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly round-up of quacks, flim-flammers, and hornswogglers outrunning Johnny Law as best they can. We've got some young earth creationists on the Bulletin today, so...
that's the devil in your pants

Here Is The Gay Evolution Kirk Cameron Sexxytime Novelette You Didn’t Know You Needed

So, a few million years ago -- or maybe eight -- fundagelical washed-up sitcom star Kirk Cameron made a famously dumb appearance on Nightline in which he explained that he'd be convinced of the reality of evolution if random...

Antonin Scalia Tells Grads: Always Be Yourself, Unless You Are Hitler

Oh, Justice Scalia, what would the Supreme Court do without you? It's such a comfort to know that a brilliant, HILARIOUS legal mind like yours is adjudicating America's Most Important Questions. Scalia spoke at his grandbaby's high school graduation...
she's as enthusiastic as ever!

Idiot Homeschool Mom Reviews Creation Museum, Likes How It Bibles Up Science

We're sad to report that her very modest YouTube success may have spoiled Megan Fox -- not the pouty, please-rescue-me gal from the Transformers movies, but the loopy Christianist homeschool mom whose bizarre "audit" of Chicago's Field Museum became...
He has ALL the confuse

Gov. Scott Walker: Ultrasounds Are So Hella Cool They Should Be MANDATORY

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker does not understand why you libtards do not like the nice anti-abortion bill he signed in 2013. Recently, a federal judge smacked part of it down, saying that requiring abortion doctors to have admitting privileges at a...
Very few of these going on in Jeb's head.

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Deepak Chopra Has Derp Thoughts About Evolution

Greetings, grifters! It's time again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly installment of the latest and greatest in quantum woo woo and pseudoscience. This week we have a return guest! Our favorite Oprah-approved king of quackery. No, not...
"learning" is fun!

Dumb Duggar Girl And Dumb Husband Explain Atheists Don’t Exist (Kind Of Like God)

There is something in Texas called the Institute for Creation Research, and one of the reality-TV-for-Christ girl Duggars took a field trip to it, with her husband. This is the same Duggar who field tripped to the Holocaust Memorial...

Louisiana Senator Is Not Cool With Scientists Murdering All The Creationists Dead

It's spring, so it's time for the Louisiana state legislature's annual competition for who can come up with the stupidest rationale to keep the awful "Louisiana Science Education Act" (LSEA), an anti-evolution law that's been in place since 2008....
'Maybe God made a monkey that doesn't like to think it's a monkey, and lies a lot.' -- Joe Rogan

Alabama Rep. Saves Schoolkids From Learning They Are Disgusting Monkeys

This is exciting! Alabama state Rep. Mack "Not a Porn Name" Butler has introduced a bill that will encourage students to "think critically" about science by allowing teachers greater latitude to add stuff to science classes that isn't so...
Physician, heal thy own brain!

Ben Carson Prematurely Ejaculates Presidential Announcement

Dr. Ben Carson, who is very good at being a neurosurgeon but doesn't seem to have other strengths, officially announces his candidacy to lose to Hillary Clinton in Detroit today, but whoops, guess he couldn't keep the "secret" any...
Free kitten with every five mass shootings

The Snake Oil Bulletin: No, Your Cat Is Not Vegan. You Are An Idiot Who Is Killing Your Cat.

Welcome back, you unwashed masses! It's time for your weekly dose of pseudoscience and phooey we like to call the Snake Oil Bulletin. Our main story today involves the delightful murderous fluff muffin you see above, let's meet that kitty...
Marco Rubio may very well believe this is happening right now, in the sky.

Surprise! Marco Rubio’s Church Is Full Of Demon-Wrasslers, Gay-Haters And Creationist Derp

Marco Rubio has two churches in Miami. One, as you might imagine, is the Catholic kind, because the Cuban-American Rubio is Catholic. The other one is a ginormous Baptist affair, featuring demon-wrasslin', homo-hatin,' and a sincerely held religious belief...
Barely Legal?

How Old Is The Earth? Golly Gee, Republicans Running For President *Just Don’t Know*!

How old is the Earth? The Earth is approximately 4.5 billion years old. How do we know that the Earth is 4.5 billion years old? Magic Science. tl;dr: A bunch of people who know a lot of stuff did all these studies,...