Tag: evolution

Gotta catch 'em all, two by two

Glenn Beck Yelling At Bill Nye About Noah’s Ark, Because Science

Glenn Beck briefly surfaced from complete obscurity to try to bair Bill Nye the Science Guy into an argument about Noah's Ark. It was sad.
In an undated file photo, Neil deGrasse Tyson gives the Wookiee salute popularized by Dr. Spock

Neil deGrasse Tyson Turns Twitter Feed Into Live Show, Sciences The Sh*t Out Of Movies

Neil deGrasse Tyson is America's preeminent nerd. He'd like to take you to the movies. And then remind you space is a vacuum, and the Death Star wouldn't go 'KABOOM!'
HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.

Rush Limbaugh Explains How That Big Gorilla’s Death Disproves Evolution, OBVIOUSLY

Who is stupider? Rush Limbaugh or the people who listen to him?
Exactly how evolution works

Ohio School ‘Science’ Video Made By Weirdo Islamic Sex-Fiend Creationist. Wonkette Torn.

Schools in Youngstown, Ohio, are teaching 'Intelligent design,' using videos from a nutty Islamic creationist. Maybe Islamophobia and anti-science stupidity will cancel each other out.
Your tax dollars at work

North Carolina Vouchers Throw Taxpayer Money At Jesus Schools, Like Founders Wanted

a href="http://wonkette.com/497377/heres-a-surprise-school-vouchers-help-spread-creationism"Time for another update on the wonderful world of "School Choice" -- taking taxpayer dollars from public schools and giving them to private schools, to help improve education all around. Or at least help people running religious...
He hasn't even achieved his ultimate form

Who Knew Spiders Were Into Bondage? Your Saturday Nerdout

If it's weekend, it's time for nerding, so let's get caught up on our geekery. Or at least partly caught up. There is always more nerdy stuff out there! Of Arachnid Bondage A few weeks back, we brought you the thrilling...
HISTORY FACT.

Idaho Lawmaker Will Make Sure Kids Learn Science Directly From King James Bible

You know how stupid liberal science textbooks are. They're all, "Once upon a time there was nothing, but then the universe banged itself real hard, and then a bunch of atoms shot out and landed on earth and turned into...
He's such a

President Obama Knows Americans Aren’t Dumb Enough To Elect Republican President

President Obama took a moment during a press conference in Paris, where he's saying global warming lies in a French accent with his other presidenting buddies, to give U.S. America a desperately needed vote of confidence: Your president would like you...
The reason for the season.

Here’s Your Turkey Drunk, Black Friday Hungover Weekly Top Ten. Read It NOW!

Good Saturday morning, Wonkers! You are so much fatter than last time we saw you, but that's OK, we are too. We hope your Thanksgiving was full of all the food you like, whether that's buckets of fried turducken...
HISTORY FACT.

Dumb Millennials Don’t Even Believe Jesus Rode Dinosaurs

Millennials, they are THE WORST. They're always like "Mommy, can you write a note to my teacher in medical school to say he's being mean?" and "Hey Taylor Swift, why is this gross old lady Alanis Morissette on stage...

Can We See Ben Carson’s Birth Certificate, Just To Prove He Was Really Born?

"Doctor" "Ben" "Carson" -- if that is even his real name, and we have reason to doubt -- has some real cool inspirational stories about his life. He grew up on a special kind of private sector welfare, which...
Confession: We never thought this song was all that funny. Steve Martin, yes. The song? Meh.

Surprise, Dr. Ben Carson’s Latest Pyramid Scheme Involves Actual Pyramids

The list of Weird Shit Ben Carson Thinks grew by one item this week, as BuzzFeed dug up some old video of Ben Carson sharing his Personal Theory of the Pyramids at a university commencement speech in 1998. This...
it's a baby not a robot doll

Ex-Con Jim Bakker Says Planned Parenthood Sacrifices Babies For Satan, So That’s New

We have no idea how Jim Bakker returned to cable -- maybe he never went away -- but it is certainly a blessing from the Comedy Gods, because nobody does insane bullshit preacherman crazy like Bakker when his voice...
A lot, actually

Ben Carson Pretty Darn Angry At Satan For Inventing Evolution

You may have noticed by now that, for a neurosurgeon, Ben Carson is a surprisingly unscientific guy. He was first-rate at cutting into brains and making repairs, but once you get him outside the operating theater, he comes off...
Borned stupid.

Pretty Sure Bobby Jindal Just Said Ted Cruz Gives Donald Trump Snail Blowjobs

Sea snail blowjobs to exact. LIMPET blowjobs. Yes, Bobby Jindal, a presidential candidate in only the loosest sense of the word, seems to be trying to get somebody, ANYBODY, to give him attention in advance of tonight's presidential debate,...