Wonkette

Yesterday, in a spectacular day of horse-trading, the U.S. offered to open certain select industries to deeper competition from European companies in exchange for them getting the hell off our backs about online gambling. Under the rules of the WTO, since we allow some gambling, we aren’t supposed to lock other countries of the industry (like, say, by making online gambling illegal). Antigua and Barbuda sued us, Canada, Japan and the EU joined in and we lost because we’re pretty clearly not exactly doing it for “moral” reasons as much to limit competition for the U.S. gaming industry, which has some great lobbyists. In order to continue violating our commitments at the WTO to protect the casinos from competition for the cherished market of gamblers too lazy to normally get off their asses , the U.S. has agreed to limit the compliant trade protections it offers other, unrelated industries. See, no worries! Free trade might not be fair, but it’s also not really that free! [Financial Times]

The Florida Supreme Court yesterday decided to give their stamp of approval for the overturning of an earlier $145 billion decision against the tobacco industry. That’s a lot of money, and I think the industry should celebrate by blowing it all on, you know, fun things! Here’s a few suggestions for neat ways they can spend the mad-money they don’t have to give to unfun healthcare and boring education:

• Purchase 446 million Emilio Pucci printed turtlenecks, enough for almost every man, woman, and child in the European Union. Probably enough if you leave out the babies.
• Stage the greatest demolition derby EVER with five million Hummer H3s.
• Make Sherwin-Williams’ slogan a thrilling reality by covering the earth with over two billion cans of candy apple red automotive touch-up paint.
• Or upholster the world instead with 5.6 billion yards of sparkly hot-pink Naugahyde (please?).
• Surprise the People’s Republic of China with 87 billion cans of Silly String.

Big Award on Tobacco Is Rejected by Court [NYT]

MORE »

• “Number of days until Markos ‘Screw Them’ Moulitsas Zuniga unveils his top secret plan to destroy the Democratic Leadership Council: 12.” (Yes, we’re ashamed to find this hilarious.) [LGF]
• College Republicans sing Nazi war songs. Like you’re surprised. [Truth Caucus]
• “EU ban sparks bra fears.” On the part of . . . ? [The Sun]
• “She’s a single, unmarried woman over 50 years old. That means the press will be able to successfully portray her as either a lesbian, a weirdo, or a lesbian weirdo. Americans will not vote for a lesbian President and they’re not too fond of weirdos either.” We’ll let you guess who “she” is. (Hint: NOT Hillary.) [RWN]
• This whole podcast thing has gotten out of hand. [Crawford's List]