Tag: europe

Gaul is supposed to be a big deal, but it's very disappointing. Terrible golf. Sad!

Donald Trump To NATO: Pay Up, Suckers

Donald Trump's brilliance as an international negotiator was on display as he explained he'd insist on payment up front before defending NATO allies.
Empty-headed fool.

Ben Carson Sorta Sorry For Saying Jews Holocausted Themselves, Can He Be President Now?

It appears that someone suggested Dr. Ben Carson ask Jeeves about the Holocaust. You know, the real Holocaust, as opposed to the Republican fan-fic one, where that commie Muslim Adolf Hitler rose to power on a platform of marriage...
Another day of being forced to make gay pizzas. Sigh.

Why Did Anne Frank Hide Like A Coward Instead Of Killing Nazis Dead Like A Real Man?

Last week, Dr. Ben Carson -- alleged educated person, supposedly in possession of a functioning brain -- offered his innovative Hot Tips For How To Survive A Holocaust. First, man up with a military-grade arsenal so that when the Nazis come...
Empty-headed fool.

Ben Carson: If The Jews Had Guns, The Holocaust Might Not Have Turned Out So :(

Ben Carson is apparently no longer content to tour American disaster sites, read the names off of memorials, and call all the victims pussies for failing to stand up to the bad guys, with guns. So now he has...
Not the actual pope.

Does Commie Pope Francis Heart Kim Davis? Bad Commie Pope!

So Pope Francis was flying back to Europe or outer space or wherever he lives, and some reporters decided to ask him about the most important issue facing America, which is Kim Davis, the yokel Kentucky clerk dragging a...
He is an actual, biological tortoise. And NRA stooge.

America All Out Of Workers Because Everyone’s Snorting Food Stamps And Social Security

So, Politico has an exciting (like Jeb!! Bush) new interview with Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, and for the most part it's pretty much what you'd expect: blah blah Barack Obama sucks, Harry Reid sucks, if only we had a...

Tennessee Republicans Solve Pressing Problem Of Muslim No-Go Zones. In Tennessee.

A Tennessee representative has introduced a bill to outlaw those Muslimy "no-go zones," which you may remember are not actually real. Of course that doesn't much matter, because never let reality get in the way of a good dog whistle. The...

Secret Service Agents Pass Out Drunk In Netherland Hotel, Think They’re Bloggers

Are you fond of traveling to exotic locations and having sexytimes with hookers? Do you drink on the job? Have you recently been to Western Europe and drunk until you passed out in a hotel? Then perhaps you should...

Rand Paul Would Solve Ukraine Crisis By Drilling Everywhere For Oil, Because Shut Up Is Why

CPAC Straw Poll winner Rand Paul proved his serious leadership mojo Sunday, telling Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace that if he were president, he knows exactly what he'd do in response to Russia's invasion of Crimea: “I would do...

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Make The World Safe For Theocracy

Welcome to the 20th Century, time tourists! Our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, would like to remind you that while science and technology are developing like crazy in this new century, the...

Mitt Romney Now Losing Friends And Alienating People In Olde Anglo-Saxon-Lande Too

Oh Mitt Romney, please stop making us feel sorry for you. You go to Yurp so you can be a Celebrity Rock Star like Obama was in 2008, and "project leadership," and everywhere you go, you make people hate...

Around The World With Lloyd Dangle: How The European Debt Crisis Is Like Grease Through A Goose

(Paris) Ah, the enchantment –– the boulevards, the catacombs, the long lines of tourists, the little dogs and the charming messes they leave on the pavement. I'm here in The City of Light wearing my red-white-and-blue monster truck cap...

Around The World With Lloyd Dangle At The End Of The World

Things may suck here in the United States, but they're wayyyy screwed in Europe. Chancellors, Presidents, Prime Ministers, Kings and Dukes have been convening summits weekly trying to figure out what to do about the hemorrhaging debt crisis. The...

Americans Are Becoming Facebook-Addicted Europeans

This morning, let's learn about how food is turning robotic, Facebook is turning us into addicts, and the economy is turning us European. I'm pretty sure exactly none of those things would make sense a hundred years ago. There's a...

Queen of Italy Michelle Obama Will Receive Free Olive Oil Forever

So we all know by now that our First Lady Michelle Obama hates Oprah and taunted her with pie, or whatever, who cares. Our FLOTUS really has no time for ridiculous accusations, because in case you haven't noticed,...

Wall Street Journal Caught Padding European Circulation By Nearly Half

Shrunken cliche Rupert Murdoch's empire of shit continues to stink, with his "rogue corporation" caught in yet another amoral activity -- this time, managers of his Wall Street Journal have been caught inflating the paper's European circulation by 41%....