Oh ho ho, gotcha! Yes, thats’ right, gotcha, Eliot Spitzer, but nice try! See it’s funny, because he is speaking at an ethics center, and he has no ethics whatsoever, hahahahah, it is the funniest joke of all time. MORE »

Stunningly awful Washington lawyer/lobbyist-cum-pundit Lanny Davis, who demands everyone take a pledge to be civil while he literally does whatever X corporation pays him to do, uses his latest column in The Hill to condescendingly lecture Markos “Kos” Moulitsas about how he didn’t properly apologize to a congressman for an error he made in his own column in The Hill, recently. Does The Hill have a veritable donnybrook on its hands? MORE »

Because there is no news this August except for the news about the moral and physical decline of America due to Death Panel rationing, an increasingly bored press corps turns to the Obama family for succor. “Enh, there’s this bit about Michelle and her shorts,” they say to each other, and that’s good for a day or two. But what shall they do next week? MORE »

After an investigation revealed that South Carolinian Ambassador to Argentina Mark Sanford had not misspent taxpayer funds in the course of perpetrating his adulterous affair with some hot lady, people were sad. They were sad because the “abused state funds” charge would have been the real corker on top of the “wandering peen” charge, in terms of ways to get the guy out of office. MORE »

South Carolina’s embarrassing Argentine love-tango scandal may have made its governor look bad, but two parties have emerged from this sad nightmare smelling like little roses: Jenny Sanford, and The State newspaper. Yesterday the paper released a pack of hilariously sycophantic requests from various media outlets to Governor Sanford’s office suggesting that — !!! — sometimes reporters and media types imply that their subjects will get favorable coverage if they’ll just respond to a goddamn interview request. MORE »

We are just not getting a lot of resignation bang for our philandering buck this summer. Argentine romancer Mark Sanford looks like he’ll stay in the South Carolina governorship, basically because his wife said he could. And now it appears that John Ensign — barring, ha ha, some devastating investigation by CREW or the Justice Department and what are the chances of that? — will also keep his Senate seat and who knows, maybe even run again! MORE »

Well, this is highly unsatisfying. We wanted to hear that Sarah Palin was one of the handful of lovelies with whom Mark Sanford “crossed the line” after a steamy meetup at the make-your-own-omelette buffet at some Republican Governors’ conference, but no. While we wait for shoes to drop and “real journalists” to do whatever they’re doing, up there in Juneau and Anchorage, the only reason anybody can come up with why Sarah Palin quit her job was that she was sick of all the ethics complaints being filed against her. MORE »

Notable New York Times stater of the obvious, occasional pie-target, and secret True/Slant commentator Thomas Friedman used to be made of money. His wife’s money, specifically, from malls. But then the malls went into bankruptcy and poor Tom Friedman must sing for his supper in tiny $75,000 increments. MORE »

WONKETTE’S ETHICAL RULES RE: COVERING MALIA & SASHA: “If they go all Jenna on D.C. in a few years,” Layne added, “they are fair game.” [Broadcasting & Cable]

The Internet-savvy young Marxist revolutionaries who constitute Barack Obama’s “base” have figured out how to work these comment-forum dealies, oh yes! Just yesterday Change.gov was a showcasing important questions about “natrual [sic] born citizen requirements” that could disqualify Barack Obama from any government position higher than dogcatcher. And yet today the seething hordes have taken advantage of the question-ranking system to stifle dissent! Seriously! MORE »

The congressman with the best accent since Jackie Gleason has encountered a number of ethics problems lately, related to his reluctance to pay for basic necessities and his willingness to take money from anyone for anything. Anyhow, he has a 1972 Mercedes Benz, and it has been sitting with an expired registration in some indoor House of Representatives lot, and it got towed. Charlie Rangel is awesome in so, so many ways. [CBS]