Tag Archives: ethics

  Think Global Act Loco

Resigning Oregon Gov. Kitzhaber Gonna Go To So Much Jail Maybe (Because He’s A Democrat)

He still looks nice on Facebook, though
Oregon Gov. John Kitzhaber may be resigning effective Wednesday, unless he changes his mind again, but he and his fiancée, Cylvia Hayes, still have a big ol’ pile of legal problems. Both the state and now a federal grand jury are investigating the two for all sorts of possible corruption, ranging from the state’s clean energy policies to a proposal for a new coal terminal at a port. For one thing, maybe they’ll figure out how those things go together. The feds subpoenaed a broad range of state records from the state on Friday, not long after Kitzhaber announced his resignation. Read more on Resigning Oregon Gov. Kitzhaber Gonna Go To So Much Jail Maybe (Because He’s A Democrat)…
  sit! stay! roll over! good girl

Grifty Tea Party Chick Will Put Ethics Complaint In Harry Reid’s Permanent File

For a bunch of gun-toting, Gadsden-flag-waving, Galt-going, war-loving, Arab-bombing, independent, self-made, self-reliant, pull-themselves-up-by-the-bootstraps tough mudders, the Tea Party sure comes off like a bunch of thin-skinned nancy boys much of the time. Case in point: the ethics complaint filed by the Tea Party Patriots against Sen. Harry Reid for the high crime and misdemeanor of grievously wounding the Koch brothers’ fee-fees. The group filed the complaint with the Senate Ethics Committee (Ethics in the Senate! Stop, you’re killing us!) on Monday. As of Tuesday, there is no word on whether Reid is still laughing uproariously, or if his guffaws have tapered off into the occasional snicker accompanied by an amused head-shake. Read more on Grifty Tea Party Chick Will Put Ethics Complaint In Harry Reid’s Permanent File…
  big chief law lady

Did Elizabeth Warren Illegally Practice Law In Massachusetts, By Which We Mean New Jersey?

After War Whoop Tuesday, it has been literally hours since someone made an offensively stupid allegation about Elizabeth Warren in the Massachusetts Senate race. Never fear, though – there’s an endless supply! Cornell law professor William Jacobson alleges that Warren practiced law illegally in Massachusetts because, while she was a professor at Harvard, she provided legal advice to a New Jersey client in a bankruptcy case in the bankruptcy court for the District of New Jersey. Warren was licensed in New Jersey; she was not in Massachusetts. Cornell law professor William Jacobson is a clown. Read more on Did Elizabeth Warren Illegally Practice Law In Massachusetts, By Which We Mean New Jersey?…
  everyone expects the spanish inquisition

Catholic Church Patiently Explains ‘Religious Freedom’ To More Uppity Nuns

WOMEN! All the Church wants them to do is take vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, and in return they can … live in poverty, chastity, and obedience! (Did you know that when a woman takes her nunly vows, it is not the holy rite of ordination like a priest would get?) But also in return, nuns get to minister to the sick and the poor and do all the other works of “Mother” Church and they can rest easy at night knowing the burden of making decisions for themselves will not be weighing on their shoulders. Unfortunately, sometimes one or all of them does get a bee in her bonnet about some flighty thing. (Probably shoes? We hear they like Prada.) But luckily for them, the Pope is so good at clearing his schedule when they get out of line with their “social justice” and “compassion” nonsense, and flies to rescue them from themselves. And that is what he did for poor misguided Mercy Sister Margaret Farley, a professor emeritus of Christian ethics at Yale. Which prompts the question: Why is Yale conferring such special status on some dumb, defective broad who obviously don’t know her Bible? Oh, well, let us let the Inquisition sort it out. Read more on Catholic Church Patiently Explains ‘Religious Freedom’ To More Uppity Nuns…
  time management skillz

Rick Scott Busy Sexing Floridians With Robocalls And Ethics Violations

Oh, don’t we just love to pick on hairless dingus Rick Scott, because he is officially America’s most disliked governor, his constituents are constantly suing him for passing laws no one likes, he’s kind of “eh” about keeping track of his filings to the Ethics Commission, and he’s using state money to sexually harass Florida ears with creepy unsolicited robocalls talking about his accomplishments. That is sort of an “accomplishment” we guess, inventing the most annoying way on Earth of trying to reach constituents: calling them at home during dinner to deliver a taped lecture about all the laws he is passing to make their lives worse. Read more on Rick Scott Busy Sexing Floridians With Robocalls And Ethics Violations…
  yeah that thing was getting too respectable

PULITZER WATCH: Daily Caller Hires Clarence Thomas’ Wife, For Journalism

Ginni Thomas, the Teabagging lobbyist wife of Clarence Thomas, has taken the next step in her natural progression of odd influence-peddling conservative jobs, accepting a “special correspondent” position at The Daily Caller. “We could not imagine a better person to take on this role,” said some Daily Caller guy. Yes, who on Earth could take this important journalism job? Certainly not all the out-of-work journalists. The position could only be filled by somebody who is not a journalist and earns her living making judicial ethics violations on her husband’s behalf. Read more on PULITZER WATCH: Daily Caller Hires Clarence Thomas’ Wife, For Journalism…
  letters to the editor

Louisiana: Wikipedia Pages Prank; Lobbyist: Wonkette Has No Ethics

Tuesday, while your Wonkette was working to bring the world “important” hilarious news about the pathetic Sarah Palin “Lou Sarah” account, we also threw up an account of somebody visiting the Louisiana Capitol building and finding a statue of the state’s first governor accompanied by a framed print-out of the governor’s Wikipedia entry. Apparently this became an issue in that state that is best known for hurricanes hating it and for its current governor hating volcano safety, because we had a lot of Louisianans visiting this site to leave us angry comments. Now, after an investigation, the state House of Representatives says somebody broke into the thing next to the statue, pulled out the original biography, and stuck in the two Wikipedia pages. And some random Louisiana lobbyist is giving us a lecture about ethics because we didn’t fly to Louisiana with our pal Encyclopedia Brown and investigate the matter ourselves. Read more on Louisiana: Wikipedia Pages Prank; Lobbyist: Wonkette Has No Ethics…
  dept. of i should know

Lying Warmonger Judith Miller Blasts Assange For Not Verifying Info

Disgraced Newsmax “reporter” (government neo-con lie re-spewer) Judith Miller is also on Fox News, it turns out, because they hire commentators based on how many war crimes they’re responsible for. (Even though nobody on Fox & Friends can understand what Genghis Khan is saying.) According to Miller, who yes, blindly spread the lies given her by warmongers in the government in order to explode the Middle East, Julian Assange is a bad journalist “because he didn’t care at all about attempting to verify the information that he was putting out or determine whether or not it would hurt anyone.” Thank God we have this paragon of journalistic ethics to help us judge Julian Assange. Read more on Lying Warmonger Judith Miller Blasts Assange For Not Verifying Info…
  the rangel works in mysterious ways

Charlie Rangel Even Violated Ethics In How He Fought Ethics Violations

The Federal Election Commission is investigating a complaint that Rep. Charles Rangel improperly used his National Leadership PAC to fund his legal defense on ethics charges for which he was censured Thursday, The Post has learned. Read more on Charlie Rangel Even Violated Ethics In How He Fought Ethics Violations…
  but charlie is america

CHARLIE RANGEL INNOCENT ON ALL CHARGES; Just Kidding, VERY GUILTY

A House ethics panel found senior Democratic lawmaker Charles Rangel violated House ethics rules, on 11 of the 13 counts lodged against him. The New York congressman wasn’t in the hearing room when the announcement was made. Read more on CHARLIE RANGEL INNOCENT ON ALL CHARGES; Just Kidding, VERY GUILTY…
  non-ed schultz news

Keith Olbermann Suspended Without Pay For Paying Democrats

Earlier this morning, Washington Post tribute site Politico reported that teevee’s Keith Olbermann, who works for news channel MSNBC, donated money to three Democratic candidates just four days before the elections on Tuesday. This is something many Americans do, but it is not something MSNBC Americans can do, because it appeared to be a violation of NBC’s news ethics policies. And it seems it is a violation, because the network has suspended Olbermann without pay today. Olbermann will now curse out MSNBC for being evil, mug exasperatedly for a non-existent camera, leave his office, and call up Joe Buck for some therapeutic World Series broadcast criticism. Meanwhile, Fox News and its personalities probably didn’t donate enough to Republicans. Read more on Keith Olbermann Suspended Without Pay For Paying Democrats…
  titanic

People Actually Showed Up To Charlie Rangel’s Sad Birthday Party Fundraiser

Charlie Rangel’s birthday party was very inconvenient for state Democratic politicians. On the one hand, he is an utter disgrace slowly being brought down, at long last, by ethics charges. On the other hand, there were free “heaping plates of roast beef, goat cheese and onion rings.” But Charlie Rangel resorted to pitifully desperate measures to shame people into showing up, and most of them did! You never turn your back on somebody who provides you lots of money. So these lawmakers ended up coming, mostly, and the result was a lot of awkwardness and then a New York Times account of this awkwardness. And also photos to be used against them in the future in attack ads. Read more on People Actually Showed Up To Charlie Rangel’s Sad Birthday Party Fundraiser…
  yep still here

Charlie Rangel Informs House He Is Going To Hang Around, In Long Speech About Himself

Charlie Rangel delivered a rambling speech for more than 30 minutes on the House floor today, and it turns out he doesn’t like ethics violations, or being forced out because of them. “Somebody has to do more than wish I go away,” he said. Mostly, he just wants somebody to do something, because constantly denying things and having to defend himself is wearing on the old man. “I’m 80 years old. I don’t want to die before the hearing,” he said. Charlie Rangel will not leave voluntarily, so please either kick him out or let him stay. But you will not, so he had to eat his entire bow-tie collection last night. Read more on Charlie Rangel Informs House He Is Going To Hang Around, In Long Speech About Himself…
  it's morning in america

Alan Greenspan Not So Gnomic, Now That We Are All Doomed

Remember when Alan Greenspan was in charge of our economies, and everyone parsed his inscrutable utterances to determine whether interest rates were going up or down, or to try to figure out if some key but obscure economic indicator was headed in the right direction? Well, now that he doesn’t have a government job to protect, he’s just up and saying all sorts of crazy things, like “The financial system is broke and I see we just stay where we are … There’s nothing out there that I can see which will alter the level of unemployment.” Read more on Alan Greenspan Not So Gnomic, Now That We Are All Doomed… Read more on Alan Greenspan Not So Gnomic, Now That We Are All Doomed…
  it's morning in america

Rejected Pun Headlines: ‘Sorry Charlie,’ ‘Rangel Wrangles Ethics Charges,’ Etc.

Charlie Rangel is going on trial! Did you even know that Congress could put people on trial, for ethics violations? Well, they can, but they don’t usually, because most Congressfolk generally just say “Yeah, you caught me” and slink away in shame when the Ethics Committee points out their many moral failings. Not Charlie Rangel, though! He’s positive giddy at the prospect: “At long last, sunshine has pierced through this cloud that has been over my head for more than two years.” The last guy who had a trial like this in the house was Jim Traficant, and you remember how awesome that was. Read more on Rejected Pun Headlines: ‘Sorry Charlie,’ ‘Rangel Wrangles Ethics Charges,’ Etc…. Read more on Rejected Pun Headlines: ‘Sorry Charlie,’ ‘Rangel Wrangles Ethics Charges,’ Etc….
  tax is whack

Nonstop Scandal Is Making Charlie Rangel Very Popular According To Charlie Rangel

Congressman Charles Rangel is facing ethics probing and a challenger in the Democratic primary for his long-held seat in New York, but don’t worry about it, because there’s nothing voters love more than ethics violations. “My community [has supported me] beyond my expectations, not that I don’t have enough ego to get by,” Rangel said on teevee. Charming. Yes, Charlie Rangel is now everyone’s favorite underdog in New York, a city famous for its love of underdogs, such as its pinstriped baseball team. You are definitely going to win, Charlie. [The Hill] Read more on Nonstop Scandal Is Making Charlie Rangel Very Popular According To Charlie Rangel…
  today in ethics

Newly Minted Ex-Congressman Is Crooked Car Inspection Racket Overlord

Hey, it worked for Eric Massa, why didn’t it work for ex-Rep. Nathan Deal? We’re talking about resigning quickly so that the Ethics people don’t release hilarious findings about you! This is what has happened to Nathan “Ghetto Grandmothers” Deal, now. He resigned immediately after last week’s health care vote, a resignation he had already delayed in his heroic, selfless attempt to kill ObamaCare and socialism. He is running for Georgia governor and needed to scoot out of the ol’ House before the Ethics Nannies shat all over him, which they did anyway. Read more on Newly Minted Ex-Congressman Is Crooked Car Inspection Racket Overlord…
  funny pictures

Charlie Rangel Pathetically Adopts New Brand

Silly Charlie Rangel. If you’re going to try changing your name as a way of escaping the taint of Charlie Rangel (ha ha most disgusting mental image ever), you shouldn’t pick the name of another famous tax evader. [Huffington Post] Read more on Charlie Rangel Pathetically Adopts New Brand…
  quitters

CHARLIE RANGEL TAKING A ‘LEAVE OF ABSENCE’ FROM WAYS AND MEANS DURING ETHICS PROBE: Good lord, this is what the man gets for taking some hot Caribbean vacations on the dime of The Corporates? What else is the point of government? Anyway so much for giving Nancy Pelosi his WORD that he would chair his committee through thick & thin, etc. [AP] Read more on …
  human slime

Someone Was Not Civil, Near Lanny Davis!

Stunningly awful Washington lawyer/lobbyist-cum-pundit Lanny Davis, who demands everyone take a pledge to be civil while he literally does whatever X corporation pays him to do, uses his latest column in The Hill to condescendingly lecture Markos “Kos” Moulitsas about how he didn’t properly apologize to a congressman for an error he made in his own column in The Hill, recently. Does The Hill have a veritable donnybrook on its hands? Read more on Someone Was Not Civil, Near Lanny Davis!…
  annals of etiquette

White House To Press: Pls Do Not Stalk Obama Girls

Because there is no news this August except for the news about the moral and physical decline of America due to Death Panel rationing, an increasingly bored press corps turns to the Obama family for succor. “Enh, there’s this bit about Michelle and her shorts,” they say to each other, and that’s good for a day or two. But what shall they do next week? Read more on White House To Press: Pls Do Not Stalk Obama Girls…