The pre-Halloween Democratic Debate was the usual boring candidate circle jerk until UFO nut Tim Russert brought up his love of Space Monsters and Shirley MacLaine to Congressman Dennis Kucinich. Like Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter, Kucinich has seen a UFO. MORE »

Look what you’re missing on the Tucker Carlson Show! Not much, to be sure, but we need to keep up with the Conservative Media Personalities to see what they know about Cheney’s new “moon base” which is being installed by Halliburton to goad the Space Monsters into a war so we can take all the natural resources from the gas giant Bespin. The ex-Canadian assistant space police guy under Pierre Trudeau is saying this, so it’s probably pretty much true. Also, Tucker supports bombing innocent E.T. babies with depleted plutonium, and he has patriotically assaulted many older gay aliens in the Mos Eisley cantina.

Bush Plans Defence Stance Against Aliens [YouTube]

Washington is buzzing with another kind of immigration nut as hundreds of UFO nerds congregate at the National Press Club to demand, uselessly, that the Government ‘fess up about the space monsters, while more than 70 actual astronomers gathered here to support the Arecibo Radio Telescope Observatory in Puerto Rico, which sent the Nixon-era message to the Extraterrestrials inviting them to invade our world and steal all the oil. Unless Congress keeps up funding for Arecibo, rogue FBI agents and space aliens could easily penetrate its defenses. Oh, and also, something from Outer Space just crashed in Peru and left a gaping hole in the ground and all the people are sick and vomiting from the Death Rays. MORE »