• Galileo proved ages ago that “crime increases proportionally with the height of housing project buildings,” and after a thorough review by the Pontifical Council for Culture, the Catholic Church even forgave him for it. But guess what? Sonia-Maria Sotomayor grew up in the grandest housing project on the Eastern Seaboard, and she doesn’t even sell dime bags! [John McWhorter]
• Oh NO! The National Arbitration Forum ruled that Sneaky Joseph Culligan will be allowed to keep BillClintonsTentaclePornEmporium.net and a myriad of other domain names Bill Clinton desperately wanted for himself. [HuffPost]
• There are unconfirmed Rumors on the Internets claiming Erick Erickson has reached his 34th year, which is pretty outrageous considering Jesus didn’t even live that long. Whatever: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERICK! [RedState]
• Observe the many ways in which Barack Obama and Ronald Reagan are frighteningly similar: Reagan invented Reaganomics, Obama invented Socialism. Reagan bought guns and gave them to right-wing death squads in Central America, Obama bought toxic bank assets and gave them to the Sandinistas. Can you think of two more examples, for extra-credit? [Washington Whispers]

Former Wonkette warring companion and current nut Erick Erickson of RedState has written a delightful post entitled, “The Peter Principle.” Surely you all went to Sunday School — FYI, if we discover any non-Christians reading Wonkette, we will decapitate & eat them — and know about ol’ Peter, the Rock of Jesus. Erickson writes, “Peter, under pressure and fear, denied Christ not just once, but three times. Peter, though, feared death. The strain on Peter was great. The rest of us, though, typically fear the opinions of others.” And the rest of us, the modern-day Peters, Erickson suggests, are behaving the same way w/r/t three (3) modern-day Jesuses: Mark Levin, Rush Limbaugh, and Dick Cheney. MORE »

Thanks Erick! August 1, hmm… ah, nevermind, that’s when our programs are on. But if any Wonkette readers would like to partake in RedState Rumspringa 2009, you can “show your commitment to attend by locking in” for a small price. [RedState]

Many of the conservatives on the right side of the Internet loved Mitt Romney. Loved his precious greasy hair! Loved his smile. Lurrrrrved his pandering. But now, Mitt Romney is dead. Let’s watch the Internet whine about having to support John McCain now! MORE »