Tag: eric holder

Jeff Sessions Orders Justice Department To Be Nicer To Head-Bashing Police

Gee, if only people had known Sessions was a member of the Leopards Eating Your Face party...

Some Idiot Dabbed At Paul Ryan, And Other Stuff. Wonkagenda For Wed., Jan. 4, 2017

The GOP has a REALLY bad day, NAACP protests Jeff Sessions, and Bill O'Reilly hates Hollywood commies! Your morning news brief!
Sorry, Republicans, he was just visiting, in 2015

Nice Time: Barack Obama Keeps Letting People Out Of Prison Instead Of Locking Them Up!

Barack Obama added on to the record number of pardons and commutations in his presidency Monday. Sadly, his record is likely to stand.
First they came for the presidential candidates...

Donald Trump Just Joshing About Jailing Opponent! Tip Your Waitstaff! Is This Mic On?

Good presidents turn chants like 'Lock her up!' into policy, don't they?
No, Bill, we haven't forgotten.

DNC Night Two: How Many Hours Will Bill Clinton Talk Tonight? Here Is Your Livebloog!

Night Two of the DNC started with the formal nomination of Hillary Clinton as U.S. America's first female major party nominee
Shopped? Probably not, but who knows?

GOP Candidates Promise To Shoot Gun Control Right Between The Eyes

Since nobody actually watched the GOP undercard debate Thursday (at least, not sober), most people probably missed the evening's most insistent reality denial on guns. Fox Business anchor Trish Regan mentioned Barack Obama's recent executive action to slightly expand...
Let's talk about slavery, Heather.

Idiot Wingnut Chick: America’s Not Racist, Except For Obama

Here America is, all fired up for yet another solemn Conversation On Race, when we don't even need to be doing that in the first place, since racism is over. The Charleston shooting was an Isolated Incident, because while individual racists...
We should probably start calling him that. But we sort of like Begley.

America’s Worst Lawyer, Larry Klayman, Explains How Barack Obama Got Those Blacks Shot In Charleston

Idiot bag of lawyer scrapings Larry Klayman took a brief break from his usual agenda of calling for the overthrow of illegal president Barack Hussein Obama last week so he could mourn the nine victims of the massacre in...
History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

NRA: President Hillary Clinton Is Already Murdering Freedom

The corpse that was America's liberty until President Obama killed it is not even cold yet, but the National Rifle Association is already warning us of the extra-death of liberty that lies ahead, since Hillary Clinton "has formally declared her...
Ooh nice squad car, where'd ya get it???

Hurray, Montana Says Cops Can’t Steal All Your Sh*t And Sell It For Cash Anymore!

Civil asset forfeiture laws around the country are fucking terrible. You know, those laws that say the cops can take your car, your money, and anything else you own, just because they THINK it might could have been used...
Look at 'em schemin'!

Idiot Texas Rep Calls For Department Of Clinton Investigatin’, To Investigate The Clintons

Whew! We were concerned there for a moment that Congress wasn't going to bother looking into the the latest SCANDALOUS SCANDAL about Billary Clinton, since the media (except for the New York Times, the Washington Post, Fox, every single...
The cats are cuter than anything you'll read in this post.

How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?

Ever since the alleged police murder of Freddie Gray and the rioting that followed, white wingnuts have been trying SO HARD to do something -- anything! -- to help the poor black communities of Baltimore recover and move on...
Now the evil scheming begins

Loretta Lynch Is Finally Your New Attorney General, IMPEACH!

Well, that wasn't so hard! After waiting for a nearly record-setting 166 days to be confirmed, Loretta Lynch was finally sworn in as U.S. Attorney General by Vice President Joe Biden, who presumably saved his congratulatory groping for after...
Still claims not to be Eric Holder, reportedly has not yet died of old age

Loretta Lynch Confirmed; Eric Holder Can Finally Take This Job And Shove It

Congratulations, Loretta Lynch! You have been confirmed as Attorney General, and it only took 166 days, which, as a student of History, you may be interested to know, is much longer than the entire lifespan of quite a few...
Good job, asshole

GOP Will Confirm Loretta Lynch For A.G. Just As Soon We Outlaw Abortion Some More

Poor Attorney General Eric Holder has been trying to quit his job since September. And you'd think, given the way Republicans hate his intestines and all his other parts too and want to impeach him for seizing all our...