eric cantor
Hooray for History’s Greatest Victim, Eric Cantor! Finally, after police immediately dismissed his bullshit claim that somebody shot up his office (a stray bullet fired at the sky had landed outside his ghetto office in Richmond), authorities have found an actual insane person on YouTube who threatened poor little Eric on YouTube! The same deranged [...]
Eric Cantor, America’s Asshole, went on the teevee yesterday to bravely announce he had just been the subject of a Savage Gunfire Attack, so the Democrats better Shut Up about all the death threats and BBQ-propane lines cut and faxes of anthrax. But it quickly became apparent that a) nothing of the sort actually happened, [...]
Eric Cantor is very upset about Democrats being upset about Teabagger-Republicans attacking the homes and offices of Democratic politicians. So, you Democrats stop complaining about that stuff. Just take it, like …. uhh, like Eric Cantor.
Most politicians who arrive in Washington resembling relatively fit and attractive humans quickly become repulsive monsters, because the restaurants serve nothing but cheesy bread products and the Congressional gym is booby trapped with vicious nine-fingered Jews who will assault you, naked. So House Minority Whip Eric Cantor has really beaten the odds by remaining thin, [...]
It is a MEDICAL FACT straight from the basement laboratory of Dr. Charles Boustany that Congressional MVP Joe Wilson has won the Internet for the Republicans today! Hooray! Do not forget though, in your excitement for Wilson’s accomplishment, to pay proper respect to Lindsey Graham and Eric Cantor, who deserve other, lesser athletic superlatives! Last [...]
This National Council for a New America, what do they do exactly besides hold coffee klatsches in Alexandria and inflame the ire of conservative voters? Who knows, but they’ve sucked Newt Gingrich into their little borg, which means they probably have spare wives and free donuts on hand. [The Fix]
CNN ASKS CANTOR ABOUT SILLY BRITNEY SPEARS NONSENSE: Whoa hey this turned out to be some kinda coveted chunk of 2-hour-news-cycle hobo meat, huh? We were just trying to make some sort of exaggerated gay joke about nothing, but now it’s at the point where CNN.com’s top political ticker story is Eric Cantor’s crucial response [...]
HER LOSS: LANDRIEU DEFINITELY NOT AT BRITNEY CONCERT: The Huffington Post has run with this “gossip blog”‘s reported confirmed life-defining economy-saving news report about Eric Cantor going to see old Britney Spears sing last night, and they have gotten confirmation from Sen. Landrieu’s office that she was not, as it happens, there with Eric Cantor, [...]
And you all thought Washington wasn’t sexy: the office of ambitious young House Republican Whip Eric Cantor has confirmed to your Wonkette that instead of watching President Obama’s boring press conference last night like the rest of us dingbats, Cantor and a bipartisan group of legislators attended the Show Of The Century at downtown’s Verizon [...]
Here’s a hilarious new video from Eric Cantor’s office, bragging about how he used his “minority whip” on Obama. It rocks the fuck out to an Aerosmith song. Hot damn! This party could win a whole 30% of votes in the next election. [The Plank]
Bradley Dayspring, remember this guy? Just a few short days ago Eric Cantor’s spokesman was personally writing, producing, directing, acting in, and distributing a propaganda film about AFSCME that featured Jimmy Hoffa extorting money from children so that he could put more dollars in the swear-word jar. Well, Dayspring has reclaimed the moral high ground, [...]
