Tag: eric cantor

Neil Gorsuch Thinks Your Boss Should Deny You Your Slut Pills. Yay ‘Religious Liberty’!

HOBBY LOBBY! HOBBY LOBBY! HOBBY LOBBY!
I eat poop.

Remember When Eric Cantor Honored America’s Unsung Managerial Class on Labor Day?

From Eric Cantor, a reminder of Labor Days past, when hard-working entrepreneurs exploited workers as God intended.

Wonkagenda: Friday, August 26, 2016

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OK not ALL the little children, according to Republicans.

Teabagger Congressman Furious With Obama For Stealing Jesus From Teabaggers

Remember Dave Brat? He is the teabagger who decided Virginia congressman Eric Cantor was a stinkin' liberal, primaried him from the right, and beat him, thus depriving Cantor of all his future hopes and dreams, and forcing John Boehner to...

Let’s Meet Our New House Speaker In Charge Of Getting Nothing Done In Congress!

So. We have now had a chance to BRB, DYING OF LAUGHTER about the breaking news that Weeper of the House John Boehner is taking his gavel and going home at the end of October. So, who's going...
You should be dancin' dancin' DANCIN'!

That Time House Majority Loser Eric Cantor Honored America’s Unsung Managerial Class On Labor Day

The Republican Party loves Labor Day so much that it's gone and created a whole new special double version of it, on the same day. This one, however, celebrates the historical enemy of organized labor, the Noble Small Businessman....
Just Jeb!

The Seven Best Times Jeb Bush Embarrassed His Mother This Week

Oh, that Jeb Bush! He is literally THE WORST at running for president of America. It's like his entire life, he's been living in the shadow of his dad and his brother, and he's just really tired of how...
American Pony is Superior Pony! And Smarter than David Brat.

How Is Obamacare Turning Us Into Nazi North Korea Today?

Gosh, remember when former House Majority Leader Eric Cantor lost his primary to some Tea Party loon named David Brat, and we laughed and laughed and looked forward to all the crazy stupid stuff Brat would do in Congress?...

New House Speaker Louie Gohmert Will Fix America, Depose Dumb Drunk RINO John Boehner

Texas congressman and casual House-floor snacker Louie Gohmert delivered blessed news to the nation on the first Sunday of the new year: he will finally rise to be the savior America needs by defeating John Boehner to become the new Speaker of...
Scootaloo is too young to understand 'misplaced empathy'

Eric Cantor Is America’s Saddest Republican

It's a sad week for Democrats, and a really happy week for Republicans, at least most of them, except maybe for Scott Brown, who's busy crying bitter tears and checking the real estate listings in Vermont and Maine. But it...
Presidential material (the dog that is)

We Get It, Mitt Romney Still Wants To Be President, Still Will Never Be President

Mitt Romney is subtle as a jackhammer. He's got his friends and family dropping all the hints, winking all the winks, and he's got the "liberal" "media" fluffing him like he's Ron friggin' Jeremy. For example: Romney has huddled with...
Damn you Obama! as usual

Stephen Colbert Outraged At Obama On Behalf Of Hispanish Community

On Monday's Colbert Report, Stephen brought us up to speed on all the complicated ins and out of immigration reform: Tonight, the latest news on immigration reform. There, you’re all caught up. He then gave President Obama the comedic tongue-lashing he...
OMG the socialists are coming! Need Moar GOLD!

Wall Street’s Newest Tool: Eric Cantor

Hey, what’s former Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Hahaha) doing with all his free time now that he is no longer an esteemed member of Congress? If we had to guess, it would be gently sobbing while beating off to...
Attack of the 50-Foot Priebus

Republicans Poll Ladies, Learn Ladies Too Dumb To See Republicans’ Awesomeness

A couple of big mainstream Republican groups commissioned a major report on the party's prospects with women, and the astonishing result is that the ladies just aren't that into Republicans. Inorite? emale voters view the party as “intolerant,” “lacking in...

Eric Cantor To Congress: Screw You Guys, I’m Going Home

Yesterday was a big day for the GOP, what with the completely refusing to do anything at all about the immigrant children at the border that they pretend to be very very concerned about. They probably couldn't quite get...

Brian Schweitzer Is Living Proof That Being A Democrat Is Not A Shield Against Being Dumb

We hadn't really thought much about Brian Schweitzer, the Democratic ex-governor of Montana, since 2012, when he was saying dumb things about Mitt Romney and Mormons. But now Schweitzer is somehow being talked about as a legitimate possibility for...