eric cantor
BREAKING!!1! HOUSE REPEALS OBAMACARE!!!!!!
Siren! Siren! ALL CAPS!! Politico Breaking News Email!! Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Extra! Extra! In a wild and spectacular vote, full of legislative twists and turns, with each side employing devastating knowledge of legislative procedure, the House of Representatives kept reporters, bloggers, and all 4 viewers of CSPAN sore from sitting on the edge of their [...]
Liberal Monster Eric Cantor Going To FEMA Camp All Your Guns If You Offer Your Little Lady Some ‘Guidance’
It is trouble in vicious soulless eee-vil rightwing-hack-land, as radio weenie Mark Levin is calling on that dastardly anti-gun LIEBRUL Eric Cantor to go kill himself or something, because he allowed the Senate’s version of the Violence Against Women Act to come to the floor, even though some bitches be asking for it! But, like, [...]
You Guys, John Boehner Said A Swear!
Remember just before Christmas, when we told you how everybody was dumping on poor John Boehner, for the minor crime of being a total mess? Turns out all this fiscal cliff hullaballoo may have taken a toll on Old Weepy. Late last week, see, while Boehner was in the midst of the legislative cat-herding that [...]
Eric Cantor Honors America’s Unsung Managerial Class on Labor Day
The Republican party loves Labor Day so much that it’s gone and created a whole new special double version of it, on the same day. This one, however, celebrates the historical enemy of organized labor, the Noble Small Businessman. Everyone, quick, whip your cat’o nine tails at the nearest laborers to honor the owners of [...]
Eric Cantor: Yeah, We’ve Got Some Anti-Semites In the House GOP
How’s jolly warrior Eric Cantor going to bat for his House GOP colleagues today? Oh, just by acknowledging that there’s an anti-Semitism problem among House GOP members. Hmm. Perhaps there have been moments of discomfort for our beloved Majority Leader, the only Jewish Republican in the House?
Hero Journalist Attempts To Explain ‘Womyn’ To Disingenuous Douche
It’s a fine line between clever and stupid, and the poor dears of the GOP establishment are all in a tizzy trying to find it. Having somehow decided that their previous forays into women’s uteruses lacked a proper goose-stepping panache, and having also settled on calling 150 million Americans diseased whoring strumpets as their big [...]
House GOP Mysteriously Filled With Spirit of Compromise
Oh look, here is an unusual sequence of words that is popping up on the newswires: “Republican leaders in the House of Representatives on Monday dropped their demand for spending reductions to pay for extending a tax cut for 160 million American workers, setting up a likely breakthrough for agreement with Democrats.” Interesting. Is this [...]
House GOP Trying To Murder Their Own Party For Whatever Reason
Woah! Ha ha, so in the last 48 hours the political narrative in Washington has followed a life cycle from “House Republicans won’t agree to the Senate’s two-month extension of a payroll tax cut for the freebie-loving middle class” to, now, “House Republicans are LITERALLY SETTING FIRE TO THE PARTY ITSELF,” and the Republican party [...]
Angsty House GOP Ends Year In Favor of Higher Taxes, To Be Emo
Well, this makes sense: John Boehner announced that House Republicans expect to vote down tonight a two-month payroll tax cut extension that passed 89-10 in the Senate, presumably to round out the year in teabagger obstructionism with a full-circle reversal of the defining GOP platform for the last million years, “not raising taxes.” Nobody even [...]
Eric Cantor Wimps Out On Speech After Hearing Peasants Might Attend
Terminally panicky villain-child Eric Cantor was all set to deliver a speech on “income inequality” and its many virtues to what he thought would be a carefully selected audience of approvingly docile business students at the Wharton School, but at the last minute university officials reminded Cantor’s office that the event would be open to [...]
Shivering Twerp Eric Cantor Afraid of Polite Unemployed ‘Mobs’ (But Not Gun-Waving Teabaggers!)
Mincing little twit Eric Cantor was all for a bunch of heavily-armed old white sociopaths showing up at Obama speeches and Town Hall meetings about, uh, denying health care to children and working people. But if a crowd of polite unemployed people camps out in a park to politely blog about income inequality, then watch [...]
Republican Thugs Warn Ben Bernanke Not To Try To Fix Economy
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke with his unenviable job of trying to save the crumbling American economy with interest rate tweaks is sort of like a firefighter standing before a Texas wildfire who gets to shoot at it with a water pistol while everyone yells at him about the size and type of his water pistol. [...]
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