Tag Archives: enron

  too small to fail

Freedom Industries Too Busy And Too Evil To Talk To Congress About WV Chemical Spill

Not that we’re complaining, because we need the post fodder, but is Freedom Industries, they of the “whoops, sorry we murdered your water, West Virginia” problem, behaving in an almost comically evil manner? First, there was their brave leader, Gary Southern, chugging bottles of water while Virginians had none. Then there was the refusal to explain exactly what horrorshow chemicals they threw in the water, because it is a trade secret. Today, we find out that very thirsty man Gary Southern couldn’t be arsed to show up to chat with Congress about the whole shebang. Read more on Freedom Industries Too Busy And Too Evil To Talk To Congress About WV Chemical Spill…
  safety last

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Lawyers, Guns, And Money Edition

Let’s kick off today’s NYT review with some chit-chat about guns, because there is never going to be a shortage of Second Amendment harpies shrieking that if they cannot carry a gun everywhere, all our freedoms will disappear. Today, let’s learn about Kansas’s fun new requirement where public buildings actually can’t ban guns anymore unless they’re willing to pay extra money for security screening out of their own stretched-thin municipal budgets. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Lawyers, Guns, And Money Edition…
  money that's what i want

Nice Time (With An Asterisk): JP Morgan To Fork Over Some Actual Cash-ish For Enron-ing California

JP Morgan is going to have to pay $410 million dollars for manipulating energy markets in California and Michigan between 2010-2012, and if you’re thinking that this sounds an awful lot like what Enron was doing, well, you’re right! It was! Via CNN Money: The bank’s energy unit, JP Morgan Venture Energy Corporation, was accused of raising electricity rates in these markets between September 2010 and November 2012 through “manipulative bidding strategies,” according to the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission. […] The bank neither admitted nor denied the violations, but said it would work with outside counsel to review its policies and practices in the power business. Read more on Nice Time (With An Asterisk): JP Morgan To Fork Over Some Actual Cash-ish For Enron-ing California…
  Who is Liz Warren Yelling at Today?

Elizabeth Warren Yells at Banks Again, Because It Is A Day

Today was just like any other day in that we woke up thinking, “Can we love Elizabeth Warren more today than we did yesterday, given that she is one of a tiny handful of people who seems not only committed to putting the banks in their place but also sufficiently empowered, politically, intellectually, and otherwise, to do so?” And, just like any other day, we found very quickly that the answer is “Yes, we CAN love Elizabeth Warren more today than we did yesterday, because it seems like she is planning to yell at banks again, which brings us an immeasurable amount of pleasure.” Today the Senate Banking Committee met to discuss Wall Street’s role in the global commodities business, and as you can imagine Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) was quite outspoken about the fact that she wants it majorly diminished. “…I share the concern of many of my colleagues about asset managers at huge Wall Street banks exercising control of key parts of America’s infrastructure,” she said. Read more on Elizabeth Warren Yells at Banks Again, Because It Is A Day…
  white collar "crime"

Enron Criminal Jeff Skilling Gets 10 Years Off For White Behavior

Hey, remember when convicted crimer/Cheney best bud/secret Energy Task Force honcho/Enron chief Ken Lay “died” (moved to Paraguay) without ever darkening the door to his prison cell? We remember it too! We assume Jeff Skilling, Lay’s patsy/aka actual CEO of Enron/not really a patsy at all really, remembers it as well and is all why didn’t IIIIII move to George W. Bush’s South American hideyhole? Instead, like a dummy, he let himself get sentenced to prison for 24 years for thieving the entire state of California, plus reaming Grandma Millie in the ass: Trader 1: “They’re fucking taking all the money back from you guys? All the money you guys stole from those poor grandmothers in California?” Trader 2: “Yeah, Grandma Millie man. But she’s the one who couldn’t figure out how to fucking vote on the butterfly ballot.” [Laughing from both sides] Trader 1: “Yeah, now she wants her fucking money back for all the power you’ve charged right up, jammed right up her ass for fucking $250 a megawatt hour.” [Harder Laughing] Stupid Grandma Millie, voting for Pat Buchanan on California’s infamous butterfly ballot that elected the people who deregulated California’s energy industry and then impeached Gray Davis for being governor after they deregulated California’s industry! What a fucking dummy she is. She is probably a Baby Boomer or some shit. Oh, right, so Jeff Skilling is getting 10 years shaved off his 24-year sentence, because apparently laws against “theft of honest services” are not actually laws. Read more on Enron Criminal Jeff Skilling Gets 10 Years Off For White Behavior…
  impeach

California Gas Prices Still Out Of Effing Control

Hello from sunny California, now home to two three vaginally-afflicted members of your crack Wonkette cyborg team. It is a fun state, full of many wonderful things like giant trees, Mexican goth teens, and of course, Danny DeVito’s allegedly hyperactive peen. But what else does California have to offer its mixed population of liberal shitstains and Orange County ‘Publicans? Why, the insanest gas prices we’ve ever seen in this here nation! The rise in California gasoline prices has slowed after recent jarring increases, but nonetheless the cost of a gallon inched up to another record high, even as officials hope their emergency action will help ease the sticker shock. The average price for regular gas in the state on Tuesday was a bit over $4.67 a gallon, according to the AAA’s Daily Fuel Gauge Report. The price was a state record and the highest in the nation. The cost increased only a fraction of a cent overnight, however — compared to nearly 50 cents in the past week. Only un fraction de un centado? Viva la gasolina! (This is a mixed language called “Spangmerican,” which some might call a pidgin and others might call a creole and others might call “what the gardener talks when he sprays the bushes with no mask on, because we are too cheap to buy him protection against lethal carcinogens and as long as our bougainvillea looks purty, all is right with the world.”) Read more on California Gas Prices Still Out Of Effing Control…
  banksters

Romney’s London Money Party Imperiled By Impending Enron-Style Disaster

What is LIBOR, you might be wondering? And who has messed with it? And how exactly will a banking scandal in London have something to do Mitt Romney? Well, what wouldn’t it have to do with Mitt Romney? First things first: LIBOR stands for the London Interbank Offered Rate, and according to the BBC, it is one of the “most crucial rates in finance” because it underpins trillions of dollars in loans and financial contacts, including (OF COURSE!) American mortgages and student loans. And because a bunch of derivatives traders at Barclay have been playing around with this rate and trying to rig it since 2005, your mortgage payments or student loan payments might have been affected this entire time. (Evidence for this rate rigging includes the message “”duuuude… what’s up with ur guys 34.5 3m fix… tell him to get it up!” sent via one trader to another via unknown means. Yes, apparently they talk like this in the U.K. too.) Anyway, this scandal MIGHT (but probably won’t, knowing how these things usually go) lead to the resignation of Barclay’s CEO Bob Diamond, but in the meantime, it has led him to pull out of a Romney fundraiser.  Because surprise surprise, the corrupt CEO of a disgraced financial institution was such a big Romney fan that he was going to host a London fundraiser for the candidate. But it’s cool, Romney understands. Also, lots of other Barclays bankers have donated craploads of money to his campaign and even served as his policy advisers, so it’ll all work out. Read more on Romney’s London Money Party Imperiled By Impending Enron-Style Disaster…
  silkwood shower

Ann Coulter: Hollywood Libels Businessmen By Telling Their True Stories

Ann Coulter has a guest opinioner in The Hollywood Reporter, and she has some thoughts she would like to share on that mean old Hollywood and how it is always smearing priests and WASPs and Southerners and Christians while holding up as heroes public school teachers if you can even believe it. Public school teachers! Ick! Nast! She gives a rundown on many types of characters whom H’wood is just cold besmirchin’ all the time, with small lists of the movies in which they are shamed and smeared. We do not have much to say about this, because she does things like say “small town” people are libeled with Footloose, but then, you know. Mostly she is mad that “Law & Order” is populated exclusively with white criminals, even though she saw two true crime programs where the rapers were Hispanic. (Not to mention all Law & Order’s black lady judges — which, oddly, Coulter doesn’t! It was probably edited out.) But there is one group of people Ann Coulter is especially protective towards, and that is businessmen. Why does Hollywood make villains out of businessmen, just because it is telling true stories? Businessmen (Erin Brockovich, A Civil Action, The Insider, Silkwood, Michael Clayton, every John Grisham adaptation, even The Muppets, where they reunite to save their old theater from a greedy oil tycoon! And Law & Order). Read more on Ann Coulter: Hollywood Libels Businessmen By Telling Their True Stories…
  just in time for the third eye blind reunion tour

Supreme Court: Enron Really Wasn’t So Bad, Actually!

The first year and a half or so of the ’00s sure seem pretty awesome in retrospect, right? The worst we had to worry about was Al Gore’s “lock box” and the sudden discovery that maybe sometimes corporations acted in the interests of their own short-term profit, rather than for the greater good of society! One of these corporations was called “Enron,” and everyone was really mad about it, for a while, and eventually some of the people who ran it went to jail. Except now the Supreme Court has thrown out a lot of the charges, because really, crimes from 1999, who can even imagine what those must have been like, now Read more on Supreme Court: Enron Really Wasn’t So Bad, Actually!…
 

Daily Briefing: Kewl Kids Vote Dem

New poll shows Democrats favored by 2 to 1 among the important independent voters who have soured on Iraq. [WP] Black and Latino voters once supportive of GOP turn to Democrats as previous campaign promises go unfulfilled. [LAT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Kewl Kids Vote Dem…
 

Ken Lay Innocent! World Rejoices!

A good man and a dear friend’s name has been cleared. Ken Lay, founder of Enron, was posthumously cleared of all charges yesterday after a Houston judge declared him innocent by way of deadness, or something. Lay could not be reached for comment, as he was playing backgammon with Jesus. Read more on Ken Lay Innocent! World Rejoices!…
 

Daily Briefing: Iraqi Idol

Under pressure, White House declassifies portions of the National Intelligence Estimate. [NYT, WP, LAT, USAT, W$J] What does it say? What does it mean? The big papers are handy with analysis. [NYT, WP, LAT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Iraqi Idol…
 

Business Section Decadent, Depraved

Henry Allen, we know you’re a Pulitzer-winning critic, a respected old newspaper veteran, all that jazz. But please — the death of Ken Lay does not call for a rewrite of Hunter S. Thompson’s Nixon obit. Ken Lay was a garden-variety crook, not the near-mythic villain of a generation. You are a Washington Post staff writer, not an iconoclastic, self-destructive legend. Here are some phrases that should not appear in the Washington Post: Read more on Business Section Decadent, Depraved…
 

Ken Lay Dead, Energy Industry Officially Not Corrupt Anymore

Enron founder Kenneth Lay died this morning in Aspen, Colorado, awaiting sentencing for fraud and conspiracy. Lay, 64, was admitted to the hospital last night after suffering a massive coronary. Federal prosecutors immediately found a large portrait of Mr. Lay and placed it in an imitation gold frame with tasteful gray matte. Read more on Ken Lay Dead, Energy Industry Officially Not Corrupt Anymore…
 

Cartoon Violence Can’t Handle Complexity Right Now

Hot time, summer in the city, editorial cartoonists continuing to churn out cheap barbs at easy targets. And our very own cartoon expert the Comics Curmudgeon is here to cool and refresh you with unparalleled insight into those funny drawings in the back of the A section. Our magical journey through Today’s Cartoons begins after the jump. Join us for white collar crime in all its guises, talking animals with bizarre agendas, and violence against public figures. Read more on Cartoon Violence Can’t Handle Complexity Right Now…
 

Breaking: More Rich People Headed for Prison

The jury in the Enron criminal case has returned with a verdict, and the news is not good for the defendants. Enron founder Ken Lay has been convicted on all six counts of fraud and conspiracy (as well as additional bank fraud charges that were tried before the judge rather than the jury). Read more on Breaking: More Rich People Headed for Prison…
 

Talk About A Slow News Day

But if Osama bin Laden had eaten all those grilled cheese sandwiches, while simultaneously cooking the books at Enron… now that might have been something… Intelligence Chief Says Al Qaeda Is ‘Top Concern’ [AP] Ex-Enron Exec Says Company Cooked Books [AP] Woman Eats 26 Grilled Cheese Sandwiches [AP] Read more on Talk About A Slow News Day…