Tag Archives: enlightenment

  Part 5: England Narrowly Escapes the Age of Reason

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Haunt Your Home-Schooled Dreams

Charge up your Flux Capacitors, folks! It’s time for our weekly foray into the past — or at least, the past as it happened in the fevered imaginations of fundamentalist Christians. Our text is again World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective (A Beka Book, 1997). This book does, in its tendentious way, present mostly-factual history. You actually could learn a lot about world history from World History, even if you dismiss the Creationist nonsense, the relentless anti-Catholicism, and the obsession with connecting historical events to the ideological hobby-horses of the modern American religious right. We only focus on the craziest stuff here in our Sunday series. On the other hand, there’s also been enough crazy for five posts so far, and we’re only up to the 18th century. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Haunt Your Home-Schooled Dreams…
  You Say You Want A Revolution?

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook For Your Home-Schooled Darlings

Welcome back, hearty Time Tourists, to our continued explorations of a 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective (A Beka Book, 1997). We’re up to the 18th century now, so you know what that means! The Age Of Enlightenment, that heady time when brilliant thinkers like Locke, Voltaire, Rousseau, Jefferson, and Paine freed the human mind from the darkness of superstition and tyranny, bringing a new spirit of egalitarianism and liberty! Or, more likely, tyranny, atheism, and death! Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook For Your Home-Schooled Darlings…
  of course it's illegal

Science Finds Simple Source of ‘Lasting Happiness,’ So It’s Completely Illegal To Have It

Do you want “lasting happiness”? It is available to everyone! There are two doorways to this “measurable personality change” that stays with people pretty much forever. The first is arduous and requires a good deal of natural empathy and the slow, patient development of the human quality of “openness.” The second is through the harmless ingestion of a common fungus that literally grows atop cow shit pretty much anywhere, overnight. See if you can guess which method the U.S. Government describes as a “Schedule 1 drug, with a high potential for abuse, has no medically accepted use and isn’t considered safe to use under medical supervision.” Read more on Science Finds Simple Source of ‘Lasting Happiness,’ So It’s Completely Illegal To Have It…
 

The Passion of the Stick

We have received this wisdom from a reader, and, truly, it all makes sense now: This panda worship is so primal. Could he be a messiah? What if we broadcast, worldwide, nothing but the pandacam 24/7. I think all wars would end. We should seize control of the public and private airwaves, cyberconnections, etc, and substitute all media w/ butterstick. There are stupider solutions to the Middle East mess. Yes, we must make it so. It sort of explains him disappearing into that cave recently… We’re not sure he’s a Christian god, however. He seems more like a reincarnation of the Buddha: Think of how he bears the weight of his imprisonment, his calm and thoughtful nature, his roly-polyness. His roly-poly-holiness. Read more on The Passion of the Stick…