Tag: england

I got it off the toilet seat

Nerdy Teens Invent ‘Smart Condom’ To Detect STDs, Never Getting Laid Now

Science Nice Time, kind of! Three English teenagers have invented -- well, at least done the groundwork for -- a condom that changes color when it comes into contact with common sexually transmitted diseases. Cool! Also, Ick! But Cool! Students...
It's like a French TV version of Wonkette!

Fox News’ Statements No Longer Operative, Osama Bin Laden Not Holed Up In Buckingham Palace

Drudge Sirens! Fox News actually apologized for spreading a completely made-up story about supposed "no-go zones" in England and France -- areas where officials supposedly have agreed to let Muslims run things according to the dictates of Sharia, without...

Luxury London Apartment Ad Wants To Stab You, Play Around With Your Blood

Yr Wonkette  has been considering a move into high-end real estate as a way of diversifying our portfolio, which is currently a little heavy on dick joke manufacturing and political scandal futures. From the looks of this long-form commercial,...
By the look on your face I can tell you like the pipes, wee laddie

Plucky Haggis-Eating Highlanders Decide ‘There Can Be Only One!’

Scottish voters turned down a referendum on independence from Britain yesterday, leading bloggers everywhere to brace for a slew of angry emails about how they didn't use "England" or "United Kingdom" or "Great Sceptered Lizard Queen Realm Of God's...
Freedom, sugar tits!

John Oliver Brings You The Scottish Independence Story You Didn’t Know You Were Dying To See (Video)

John Oliver and Last Week Tonight have a real treat for us this week: the funniest reporting on this week's Scottish vote on whether to leave the United Kingdom. Yes, Scotland -- which Americans know as "the birthplace of Shrek and...
This actually happened

Why Are We Hating Obama Today? (He Went To Stonehenge Instead Of Syria That’s Why)

Sometimes we hate President Obama because he is golfing or dictator-ing or bad-tan-suiting or presidenting while black. But today, kids, we get to hate him for sightseeing. Neat! See, the president is off in Merry Ol' Britainland, which is even...

British Politician Gives Hot Tip To Youngsters: Learn To Talk Like Hitler

We will totally admit that we do not know much about politics in Merry Olde Limeyland, mostly because the parliamentary system seems really fucking complicated. How do you British people keep track of them all? Do you just kind...

Breitbart Has A London Bureau So They Can Call British Rape Victims Sluts

Well how's this for brand expansion? At some point that we were blessedly unaware of, the Breitbart Empire got itself a London bureau, and yesterday it ran a thoughtful piece explaining that, for the sake of not harming any...

Michele Bachmann Will Teach These Oxford Dummies A Thing Or Two About How To Debate

Fresh off her vigorous defense of Free American Free Straight and Billionaire People from the bullying of the gays and the liberals who are shutting down freedom wherever they find it, Michele Bachmann is headed to Jolly Old Kidney...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Tour Of The Terrible

Happy Saturday, Wonquistadores! Every week, our web browsers overflow with a fetid slop of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth full posts of their own. Then we mop up the mess and wring...

On Her Majesty’s Secret Snack Bowl: Police Were Ordered To Leave Elizabeth’s Nuts Untouched

Here's a weird little tidbit that's emerged from the phone hacking trial for executives from Rupert Murdoch's News of the World tabloid: For reasons not made the least bit clear in this BBC story, on Thursday, the jury was...

Nice Time At Last: English Lady In Giant Vagina Costume Is Your Newest Superhero

Hey, Wonkers, we have been throwing some pretty grim stuff at you today, so let's round out the day with a "happy ending" of sorts -- how about this feel-good story of how a woman came to the assistance...

Free Republic Geniuses Would Like To Be Part Of England Again, To Escape Socialism

Oh look, some super-brilliant science nerd at the Free Republic has written an Open Letter to the Queen of Englande! It is full of incontrovertible facts, like how we must rejoin the British Empire, because Barack Obama is socialist....

Wacky British Floppybums Clearly Unprepared for Olympics, Murder Bells Flying Everywhere

Drat, the bell! Did no one think of securing the bells? Hells bells, drat drat drat bollocks, splat. Here is Tiddlywinks McNinnypants, the UK's "Secretary of State for Culture, Olympics, Media and Sport," trying to ring a bell, like...

How Else Has Mitt Romney Insulted Jolly Olde Englande?

Mitt Romney is trying to prove his foreign policy chops are so much better than stupid hapless old Obama's, and so he and his advisors are barnstorming across London, whinging about the threat from the Soviet Union. But His...

Mitt Romney Does England, Day 1: Meeting The Dandies

The trip of the century has begun! Mitt Romney is in Londontowne, visiting the enemy Empire against whom we literally revolted because of tea taxes. How many lobsterbacks has he killed yet? None; he got a graduate school deferment...