Tag: england

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Tour Of The Terrible

Happy Saturday, Wonquistadores! Every week, our web browsers overflow with a fetid slop of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth full posts of their own. Then we mop up the mess and wring...

On Her Majesty’s Secret Snack Bowl: Police Were Ordered To Leave Elizabeth’s Nuts Untouched

Here's a weird little tidbit that's emerged from the phone hacking trial for executives from Rupert Murdoch's News of the World tabloid: For reasons not made the least bit clear in this BBC story, on Thursday, the jury was...

Nice Time At Last: English Lady In Giant Vagina Costume Is Your Newest Superhero

Hey, Wonkers, we have been throwing some pretty grim stuff at you today, so let's round out the day with a "happy ending" of sorts -- how about this feel-good story of how a woman came to the assistance...

Free Republic Geniuses Would Like To Be Part Of England Again, To Escape Socialism

Oh look, some super-brilliant science nerd at the Free Republic has written an Open Letter to the Queen of Englande! It is full of incontrovertible facts, like how we must rejoin the British Empire, because Barack Obama is socialist....

Wacky British Floppybums Clearly Unprepared for Olympics, Murder Bells Flying Everywhere

Drat, the bell! Did no one think of securing the bells? Hells bells, drat drat drat bollocks, splat. Here is Tiddlywinks McNinnypants, the UK's "Secretary of State for Culture, Olympics, Media and Sport," trying to ring a bell, like...

How Else Has Mitt Romney Insulted Jolly Olde Englande?

Mitt Romney is trying to prove his foreign policy chops are so much better than stupid hapless old Obama's, and so he and his advisors are barnstorming across London, whinging about the threat from the Soviet Union. But His...

Mitt Romney Does England, Day 1: Meeting The Dandies

The trip of the century has begun! Mitt Romney is in Londontowne, visiting the enemy Empire against whom we literally revolted because of tea taxes. How many lobsterbacks has he killed yet? None; he got a graduate school deferment...

Mitt Romney Considers First Ever Global War Tour!

Whatta we got in the local clip 'n' save today? "Mitt Romney’s campaign is considering a major foreign policy offensive at the end of the month that would take him to five countries over three continents..." HMMMMM. You have...

David Cameron, You Have Been Cavorting Far Too Much With Barack Obama

The Almighty King of England, David Cameron, recently spent a lovely American spring afternoon with Barack Obama inside a sweaty gymnasium watching college athletes play basketball. They then had a lovely American spring evening at a White House state...

British Lizard Queen Celebrates 60 Earth Years of Oppression

Is everyone super excited about the "Diamond Jubilee" of America's queen of hearts, Elizabeth II? They should be, after her exciting performance at yesterday's American football spectacular "half time." Here is the well-known story we all recite to ourselves...

British Tabloids Uncover Michelle Obama’s Fancy Underwear

The Europeans just cannot get enough of our First Lady Michelle Obama. She is all they have right now, with their money spinning down the toilet and Heidi Klum experiencing a divorce tragedy, etc. Last week, the French shared...

Wedding of the Century: Meet Your New Prince & Princess!

Have you heard about America's new king and queen of hearts, Bill and Kate plus Eight? They are getting married very soon! And until the divorce in a few years and the tragic aftermath when Kate runs off with...

British Sharia Protestors Giving American Bigots Run For Their Money

Muslim, muslamic law, from Iraq, you know. Muslamic ray-guns? We're not quite sure what this bloke is saying (something about the metric system and putting blood in their pudding cups?), but we know these guys are better than our...

Evil Old Nazi Pope Tries To Trick Anglicans Into Becoming Catholics

Trying to finish what his Nazi forces started during World War II, Pope Joseph Ratzinger will attack England tomorrow with a bizarre offer to turn Anglicans into Catholics, even though he has publically described non-Catholic Christians as following a...

EXCLUSIVE: Does the Pope Wear Tartan ‘Knickers’?

NO! He does not. But the lady who leads the Scottish Conservatives might. Or at least that is what The Duke of Edinburgh implied, during a reception for Mr. Pope Benedict: According to Ms Goldie, the Duke made the remark...

Pope Admits Maybe the Church Has Been Just a Bit Rapey

Pope Benedict's trip to England started on a sort of racist, not-helpful note. But the Big XVI has recovered, and he even told the Limey newspaper men that you know, isn't it a pity the Church was able to...