Fresh off her vigorous defense of Free American Free Straight and Billionaire People from the bullying of the gays and the liberals who are shutting down freedom wherever they find it, Michele Bachmann is headed to Jolly Old Kidney Pie Land to share her unique language stylings with the Oxford Union, England’s most famous debating […]

Happy Saturday, Wonquistadores! Every week, our web browsers overflow with a fetid slop of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth full posts of their own. Then we mop up the mess and wring out the smelly excess into a big old bucket we call the Derp Roundup. Add grain […]

Here’s a weird little tidbit that’s emerged from the phone hacking trial for executives from Rupert Murdoch’s News of the World tabloid: For reasons not made the least bit clear in this BBC story, on Thursday, the jury was read emails from an NoW editor about suspicious nut-related goings-on at Buckingham Palace. Specifically, Queen Elizabeth […]

Hey, Wonkers, we have been throwing some pretty grim stuff at you today, so let’s round out the day with a “happy ending” of sorts — how about this feel-good story of how a woman came to the assistance of her co-worker and saved him from an assault by an angry stranger? And even better, […]

Oh look, some super-brilliant science nerd at the Free Republic has written an Open Letter to the Queen of Englande! It is full of incontrovertible facts, like how we must rejoin the British Empire, because Barack Obama is socialist. But wait! you are shouting at yourself, while scratching your belly, isn’t the United Kingdom sort […]

Drat, the bell! Did no one think of securing the bells? Hells bells, drat drat drat bollocks, splat. Here is Tiddlywinks McNinnypants, the UK’s “Secretary of State for Culture, Olympics, Media and Sport,” trying to ring a bell, like all British people are required to do during their lunch breaks, and whoops, there goes the […]

Mitt Romney is trying to prove his foreign policy chops are so much better than stupid hapless old Obama’s, and so he and his advisors are barnstorming across London, whinging about the threat from the Soviet Union. But His Lord High Hairgel has not had the easiest of receptions, as every person in that small […]

The trip of the century has begun! Mitt Romney is in Londontowne, visiting the enemy Empire against whom we literally revolted because of tea taxes. How many lobsterbacks has he killed yet? None; he got a graduate school deferment from fighting in the Revolutionary War. Let’s check in our next, greatest Republican president, as he […]

Whatta we got in the local clip ‘n’ save today? “Mitt Romney’s campaign is considering a major foreign policy offensive at the end of the month that would take him to five countries over three continents…” HMMMMM. You have to wait until you *win* the presidential election to launch world war, dingus. And then it’s […]

The Almighty King of England, David Cameron, recently spent a lovely American spring afternoon with Barack Obama inside a sweaty gymnasium watching college athletes play basketball. They then had a lovely American spring evening at a White House state dinner, at which David Cameron saluted the American liberal president. We all know how creepy Cameron […]

Is everyone super excited about the “Diamond Jubilee” of America’s queen of hearts, Elizabeth II? They should be, after her exciting performance at yesterday’s American football spectacular “half time.” Here is the well-known story we all recite to ourselves each night before flogging our own flesh with a thorny wooden portrait of Our Queen: Sixty […]

The Europeans just cannot get enough of our First Lady Michelle Obama. She is all they have right now, with their money spinning down the toilet and Heidi Klum experiencing a divorce tragedy, etc. Last week, the French shared their opinions about Michelle Obama and her brave decision to not dress like MC Hammer. Now, […]

Have you heard about America’s new king and queen of hearts, Bill and Kate plus Eight? They are getting married very soon! And until the divorce in a few years and the tragic aftermath when Kate runs off with an Arab playboy and Bill falls in love with a tampon, this may very well be […]

Muslim, muslamic law, from Iraq, you know. Muslamic ray-guns? We’re not quite sure what this bloke is saying (something about the metric system and putting blood in their pudding cups?), but we know these guys are better than our bigots. When’s the last time you saw a mosk protest in the United States? Back in […]

Trying to finish what his Nazi forces started during World War II, Pope Joseph Ratzinger will attack England tomorrow with a bizarre offer to turn Anglicans into Catholics, even though he has publically described non-Catholic Christians as following a “defective” religion, and also the Church of England lets ladies work as priests, and other Anglican […]