Barack Obama’s goofy, hated British squire Gordon Brown gave a speech earlier as host of the G20 conference, which is already basically over. Boo! He mentioned that since all countries are screwed, because they’re connected, because of globalization, they have all agreed to kick in a few bucks for loans and shit. But then he said, “a New World Order is emerging.” OH NOES. There are already 10 million versions of this clip on YouTube. “we are freaking screwed,” writes YouTube user “spydat3k.” [YouTube]

Oh this is a necessary post. You all do want to see the Obamas meeting our colonial Queen at her Buckingham Palace, don’t you? Because they do just that. Check out the Queen, still hangin’ in there. She could stand on top of both Malia and Sasha Obama and still be shorter than either of their parents. CNN did a great job covering this event, too. Its daytime anchor shouts for a while, and then a drunk limey comes on to shout some more. [YouTube]

The YouTubes are flooded with protest videos from G20 where, in quieter quarters, Obama is giving the Queen an iPod filled with libidinous American “noise.” This offers a good Aerial Shot, though, of the protesters — whose parents are probably inside the conference, deciding interest rate policy — taunting the Bobbies, who simply have to take one step forward to scare them all away for a few seconds. [YouTube]

While Barack Obama is doing Man’s Work at the fancy 10 Downing St. dinner tonight, with Angela Merkel, stay-at-home mom Michelle Obama will be segregated with the other G20 spouses and forced to sup with the beloved author of devil-fiction directed at children. Michelle will sit next to J.K. Rowling, famous gazillionaire and creator of the Harry Potter witchcraft craze. The Obamas are big fans of the 38 Harry Potter bibles, from which they taught their daughters how to cast magical spells to kill villains. [The SUN/LA Times/Telegraph]

Barack Obama’s Air Force One has successfully landed in England for the G-20 conference, where leaders from China, Russia, France, etc., are expected to be annoying. A tribe of local knickered hobbits swarmed the country airport and captured this disturbing footage. [YouTube]

President Obama has dispatched an army of sterilization goons to London in advance of the G20 meeting this week. Their task: to remove the gonads of any human who invades the “sterile area” around the president. Obama also sent his driver over early so that he could familiarize himself with the quaint English custom of driving on the wrong side of the road, a practice known locally as “buggery.” MORE »

A fancy Tory named Professor John Beddington is worried about that the “growing world population will cause a ‘perfect storm’ of food, energy and water shortages by 2030.” He’s the “chief government scientist” of England, too, so he is basically Al Gore in knickers. Anyway, this will starve out mostly the poor countries, so we’re… oh shit that’s us now! Actually, meh. Anyone who expects things to be halfway decent in 2030, anywhere, is kind of dumb. Just remember not to breed, unless you’re *comfortable* with having to sell your child to the Huns in a few years. [BBC]

• COMICAL SUNDAY READING: The Independent landed a sit-down with former Hillary Clinton campaign chief strategist Mark “Bowser” Penn during one of his awful British speaking engagements and JESUS, the write-up reads as if Mark Penn had once sodomized and tortured and eaten every member of this reporter’s family! It’s titled “Mark Penn: The man who blew the presidency,” and along the way this reporter (whose name we cannot locate Cole Moreton!) calls him “fat,” “ugly,” and even — hide the children from this one — “indefatigable.” That is English for the American word “cuntmonger.” [Independent]

Crabby queen writer Gore Vidal, who is certainly older than you, appeared on the English telly after Obama’s clinch last night to discuss American politics with the Britons. Appropriately, he went insane for several minutes after asking and receiving permission to “talk the facts of life” with the BBC anchor. Whenever he is asked a mild follow-up question, Vidal barks that he has never heard of the terrible, lowly anchor who is harassing him. This clip is staggering. [YouTube]

Everybody loves Barack Obama, especially the British, who prefer the handsome young celebrity 5-to-1 over cranky old World War I veteran John McCain. But what will happen once Obama becomes president? One Englishman at the Times of London knows the answer: The world will turn on Handsome Barry, because he is an American, and everything bad in the world must eventually be blamed on America, even the post-Bush/Cheney America. [Times of London]

Here is your “Thursday Fun Link,” an article about the Doodys, a Family of Faggot Fans. Our favorite sentence: “The competition was organised by faggot producer Mr Brain’s Faggots.” [BBC]