A supersecret source sends us this important update on the sad abandoned Republican street urchin/chimbley sweep cabal that got stuck fighting for lower gas prices while the decadent world around them yawned and left for vacation. These oppressed legislators issued a special request via the emails! MORE »

Here’s a fantastic new John McCain ad, about Gas Prices. It shows a gas pump in a stream of water. Oh no the water is a mirage! (But why is the pump in a mirage, hmm?) And then the narrator asks, “Who can we thank for rising prices at the pump?” as a million retards scream “OBAMA! OBAMA!” behind Obama’s fat head. Obama put the high gas prices in the middle of the mirage! Finally the narrator tells us, “Don’t hope for more energy, vote for it.” Because a “vote for energy” is a vote for a 72-year-old geezer, see? [YouTube]

Everybody in California’s 26th congressional district got this crazy-ass ALL CAPS hand-written freakout from beloved conservative bachelor David Dreier today. You can read the second page of ALL CAPS “MUST DRILL 4 OIL AT SEA WORLD OR ISLAMO FASCISTS WILL KILL KILL KILL” in the comments of basically all blogs everywhere.

Here’s a snippet of President Bush’s fun press conference today, which Sara aptly described as “a portrait of a man slowly losing what’s left of his mind after eight years of exhaustion and failure.” MORE »

Barack Obama is on an economics campaign tour this week, traveling to various sad places to let people know there’s still hope, but not really. Today, for example, Obama visits Flint, Michigan — the ruined auto-factory town that primarily serves as a backdrop for sad economic speeches, ever since Michael Moore destroyed the once-prosperous city to make a point. But not all the Economy News is gloomy! Read our fun list and find out why! MORE »

Any powerful Ida-ho needs a strong “Lion” behind him. And doesn’t the senior senator from Idaho Mr. Larry Craig know this! In a statement yesterday entitled “Dreaming of a Clean (Energy) Christmas,” where he mostly brags about how he got to make out with George Bush at the White House the other day, Craig inserts a special love quote for his inspiration: William E. Borah, the “Lion of Idaho.” Oh Larry, we all know you-da-ho! MORE »

“Senate Republicans blocked a broad energy bill Thursday because it included billions of dollars in new taxes on the biggest oil companies.” In an ideal world, of course, the new taxes proposed in energy bills would be targeted about hobos and the other riff raff of society. [CNN]

The Post has the Energy Task Force list!!!!! We’ve been waiting six years to figure out who, exactly, sat down with Vice President Cheney to draft our nation’s energy policy! The answer: the energy industry! MORE »

• Senate approves fences and barriers for the southern border as well as restrictions for the guest-worker program. Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.): “Good fences make good neighbors. Fences don’t make bad neighbors.” [WP, NYT, WSJ]
• New details about Gen. Michael Hayden’s “highly classified world” are “forcing lawmakers to reexamine a man many of them have known for years”; last-minute briefings to lawmakers on the Intelligence Committees “have smoothed what might have been a contentious path toward confirmation” and a declassified list shows select members were briefed 30 times on surveillance programs since 9/11. [WP, NYT, NYT, USAT, USAT, WSJ]
• Tuesday’s election results may preview a “brewing unrest that could threaten incumbents of both parties in the November elections”; a “broader disaffection” is noted. [WP, NYT]
• Bush echoes past campaign themes in speech at RNC fundraiser: “We are the party of the future, and our candidates will be running against the party of the past — a party that offers no new ideas like the Republican Party, a party that can only offer opposition.” [NYT]
• Sen. Judd Gregg (R-N.H.) says Bush is not appropriately funding the National Guard order: “A lot are going to be sitting in cars that don’t run and planes that don’t take off.” [USAT]
• House ethics committee opens investigations of Reps. Robert Ney (R-Ohio), William Jefferson (D-La.), and Randy Cunningham (R-Calif.). [WP, NYT]
• Lockheed Martin, Raytheon and Northrop Grumman are bidding for a multibillion-dollar contract to provide border security. [NYT]

MORE »

* Cenk Uygur tries to help an admitted oil addict. [HuffPo]
* Place blame on faceless oil barons, THEN pre-pay, THEN pump. [Wizbang]
* Poisoned, oil-coated, asthmatic fish — just like Mom makes it. [Jesus' General]
* Natural gas wants a piece of the action. [moxie]
* Pretending to have a lot of casual sex is just as awesomely satisfying as actually having it. [InkWell]

* Bush remains firm on port deal as lawmakers from both parties voice concern: “I want those who are questioning it to step up and explain why all of a sudden a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard than a [British] company… They ought to look at the facts and understand the consequences of what they’re going to do. But if they pass a law, I’ll deal with it, with a veto.” [WP, NYT, W$J, LAT, WT, USAT]
* Supreme Court will hear case on partial birth abortion; decision will test new court. [WP, NYT, W$J, WT, USAT]
* Bush devotes second day to talking up alternative energy options. [WP, NYT]
* Andy Card called off December briefing about NSA eavesdropping to the House Intelligence Committee. [NYT]
* Commander of Guantanamo admits force-feeding detainees; Rumsfeld says interrogation tactics changed after legal concerns were raised in early 2003. [NYT, NYT]
* Alito was “precocious,” jovial, and “enthusiastic” on his first day. [WP]
* Fundraisers aim to raise $5m for Lewis Libby’s defense fund. [WP]