An evangelist named Dr. K.A. Paul, whom the New Republic has called the most popular evangelist in the world (read: has sodomized more little boys than the others), has shockingly endorsed the Muslin candidate, Barack Obama, in what must be an all-time first! This dude, who we will respectfully dub “The Other Dr. Paul” for the sake of LIBERTY! and FREEDOM!, offered three reasons for his endorsement: restoring America’s image abroad, eliminating the Bush/Republican economic policies, and punishing George W. Bush for his ineffectiveness in bringing about the second coming of Christ as the Bible had ordered him to do. As you can see, one of these reasons is insane on a COSMIC SCALE. What kind of drugs must this guy be on to think that the Bush economic policies have failed us?? MORE »

Republican hero and proud father of Cocktober Mark Foley hangs out in Beverly Hills, apparently, and chatted with a TV producer and a talent manager who thought he looked familiar. Maybe because he was on CSI or something? He said “Yes I am that guy who had to resign from Congress because I sent some sexy emails to a page when I was drunk, blah blah blah.” Then he said he supported Barack Obama for president, thereby ensuring a glorious 72-year McCain/Palin reign of terror. [Wilshire & Washington]

After Christopher Buckley insulted his dead father’s National Review magazine by endorsing a liberal black Maoist over the Crazyfarts McBombs and Sideshow Moosetits ticket, every editor at the National Review and every wingnut with an AOL account called him a traitor to his own family, Jesus, and The Cause. And so Buckley has now quit his columnist position at the magazine and written a rather brutal excoriation of Modern Conservatism on Tina Brown’s new Huffington Post, The British Space Cyclops. MORE »

Republican movie actor Dennis Hopper is so Republican that he starred in that shitty wingnut movie not even Republicans bothered to see, An American Carol. But now the hippie icon and Republican-since-Reagan is in the tank for You Know Who, That One, Barack Obama. “I voted for Bush, father and son, but this time I’ll vote for Obama,” Hopper said in Paris, which is also in the tank for Obama. “I pray God that Barack Obama is elected.” [AFP]

You can almost hear his melodious English grumble as he fusses with his morning oatmeal and coffee, and finds the wine-stained post-it note stuck haphazardly on his laptop screen: “OBAMA ENDORSE, SLATE.” Well, then, let’s get on with it — before some clumsy mental midget like Jonah Goldberg beats you to it, old salt. Christ knows all the big names have already done so …. MORE »

In North Carolina there is a famous old liberal named Dean Smith, who coached the Tar Heels for a million years before retiring to become a bleeding heart. He has officially endorsed Barack Obama for president which, according to Wonkette reader Kelsey, means “It’s over in NC.” Coach Smith’s exciting email after the jump. MORE »

We’re calling it: the election is about to turn “red” again! Even though McCain has randomly surrendered Michigan and now needs to win Pennsylvania to have like a 15% shot at this thing… well this election will not be decided by “math numbers,” it will be decided by the American people! And the American people hate nothing more than the gay French arugula-blowing big government white wine-eating literate elite non-cling snob black coastie welfare magazine, The New Yorker, which has just endorsed Barack Obama. And just to rub it in, the editors have made the endorsement have a whole lotsa WORDS in it. GRRR me wants to start a farmer’s rebellion you in? [New Yorker]

Ron Paul’s very special press conference has ended and, we regret to inform, it featured no “Tournament of Losers”-style death match among the various third-party candidates he invited. He totally copped out and endorsed three third-party candidates: Ralph Nader, Cynthia McKinney, and Chuck Baldwin. He was planning on endorsing Bob Barr, too, but selfish Barr didn’t want to share the blessing with his fellow losers and refused to show up. Ha ha, Bob Barr is in loser-denial. But Paul redeemed his hazy endorsement of these competing hippie agendas by revealing that Phil “Nation of Whiners” Gramm tried to force him into endorsing John McCain. And somehow Paul fended off his heroically persuasive powers! MORE »

Reliable New York Times reporter Bill Kristol tells Fox News that once-popular Republican Colin Powell will endorse Barack Obama, the Democratic nominee, and might even be giving a speech at the DNC or introducing Obama at the Stadium Concert with the Decemberists or who knows! Very exciting, we guess? Colin Powell is famous for being a black Republican warlord who “sold” the UN on the 2003 Iraq invasion, which has been the biggest debacle in American History. OBVIOUS UPDATE: Ha ha, fucking Bill Kristol. "I do not have time to waste on Bill Kristol’s musings,” Powell told ABC News. “I am not going to the convention. I have made this clear." [Fox News]

Oh look, it’s the famous Ramones/Leonard Cohen producer Phil Spector, the creator of the “Wall of Voodoo,” pictured here in court with a “Barack Obama Rocks” button on his lapel.

No fist jab for you, wig-hat!

[LAT Top of the Ticket]

Forgotten former vice president Dan Quayle is always wrong about everything, so the Obama campaign is surely horrified that the Indiana lightweight “respects” Barack and believes John McCain faces an “uphill battle” in November. Sure, everybody else believes that, too. But if Dan Quayle is endorsing this conventional wisdom … well, see you in Iraq in the year 2108. MORE »