In an editorial, the paper's editor writes that "it's time for Hillary's gay donors and volunteers to look past short-term disappointments and consider the long-term impact of a McCain administration." But gay Clinton supporters are a stubborn crowd — Gay Internet Spokesman Andrew Sullivan has been urging his fellow homosexuals to leave Hillary forever. They won't even listen to Andrew Sullivan!

Hillary, the time has come [Washington Blade]

Everybody knows that Oprah made Barack popular, and in turn Barack made Oprah a pariah among all the sad white ladies who never realized the billionaire media empress and Giver of Cars was also black. Oprah has spent months repairing this damage to her reputation. This is why she will not campaign for Obama and instead he has to settle for endorsements from a white elitist New Jerseyite who wrote songs about being blown up in Vietnam for Ronald Reagan.

O, No: Winfrey a no-show [Politico]

He looks ungodly tired:

[HuffPo]

On The Graham Norton Show, Sheen said, "Both Obama and Clinton came to me for support ... I haven't said this publicly before but I'm an Obama supporter. Bill Clinton loved The West Wing and still calls me the President, so I have to be careful."

Thanks to Secret Limey Wonkette Operative "Lucy" for bringing this very important news to our attention, writing, "He said he didn't want it getting out because Bill Clinton was a fan and he didn't want to offend. So why he said it on tv then is anyone's guess."

Martin Sheen Tells Graham Norton Who He Backs As President [Unreality Primetime]

KING: Do you have a favorite between the two, the two Democrats?

LAURA BUSH: My favorite is the Republican.

KING (pointing to Jenna): Yours too, I would imagine.

JENNA BUSH: I don't know.

KING: A-ha! Are you open to...

JENNA BUSH: Yeah, of course. I mean, who isn't open to learning about the candidates and I'm sure that everybody's like that.

What is this "being open to learning about things" stuff? Does that mean she's into anal?

Jenna Bush: I may not support McCain [Yeas & Nays]

Here is a paraphrase of his editorial: I hate John McCain to the very marrow of my bones, but now I will vote for him because the ghost of Ronald Reagan whispered in my ear and told me that if I want a political future I will need to eat shit on this important issue. Santorum for Veep!

The Elephant in the Room: Why conservatives should support McCain [Philadelphia Inquirer]

Meet yr Barry endorsers, who each "know stuff" about the various issues:

• Sam Nunn, ex-Senator from Georgia, chair of the Armed Services Committee from 1987-1995. "We need a president who has the temperament of a leader — a sharp, incisive, strategic mind, a rare capacity for self criticism, and a willingness to hear contrary points of view." And I can be his white Southern vice president!
• David Boren, ex-Senator from Oklahoma, former chair of the Select Committee on Intelligence (smartypants elitist!). "Senator Obama is also a person of sound and good judgment. He had the good judgment more than five years ago to warn against our involvement in this tragic and costly war. He also understands the need to repair our partnerships with other nations and to more effectively use diplomacy to serve our national interests." And I can be his white Southern vice president!

• Bruce Springsteen is the most popular musician among the Blue Collars, ever, as well as various other "white ethnics," Jersey shore rats, and your father. Black people hate him!
• He wrote an entire album called The Rising dedicated to the victims of 9/11. But that was only his cheap apology for causing 9/11 in the first place, with liberal ginseng bombs.
• This little piece of ELITE CYNICISM:
  
  

Here are the exact words that came out of his mouth the other day in a stammering, poncey accent:

I think you can see the Republicans in the US who are on the pro-immigration side of the debate, on the pro-free-trade side, the Americans who are Democrats but protectionist. I think the thing that has come home to me most since leaving office is just the speed at which the world is opening up.

So yes, he is pulling for John McCain, and for Armageddon.

What Tony Blair thinks about John McCain [Comment Central]

Instead the former Democrat and former Republican maverick Bloomberg has decided to stay "neutral" and not endorse any Presidential candidate. It's a tough line for him to walk: Hillary Clinton is from his home state, Barack Obama bought him breakfast, and John McCain belongs to the political party he most recently abandoned.

Ah, but who cares? Until the Voters Have Spoken (in Pennsylvania, one million years from now) all this pointless speculation can keep alive the crazy dream that Michael Bloomberg has some sort of influence, or future, in national politics.

No Endorsement; Bloomberg Plays It Down The Middle [CBS]

Some insiders speculate that Obama and Clinton have both been avoiding Pennsylvania, perhaps because they don't want to appear to "like" it in that way. Obama in particular has given it the cold shoulder this month, either because he has written it off entirely or because making himself look like a hopeless loser now will make him look like less of a hopeless loser when he loses Pennsylvania by "only" 5 points or so.

In other Pennsylvania-related news, Mumia Abu-Jamal is still alive. Chew on that, hippies!

Bob Casey to endorse Obama, join bus tour [Philadelphia Inquirer]

Here's what she told a New England teevee station about the possibility of an Obama-Clinton or Clinton-Obama "dream ticket," despite the fact that this is no one's dream:

I think that the Clinton administration has fairly ruled that out by proclaiming that Senator McCain would be a better Commander in Chief than Obama. I think that either way is impossible.

What The Fuck. Sorry, John McCain, but all candidates must be at least as tall as Bush's nipples in order to run for president.

"Mr. President, my friend, could you please stop dancing and just endorse me? There are cameras here."

"He's, uh, uhm, Senator McCain, he's a, uhm, he's a distinguished turtle."

"And, uh, uhm, Cindy, you, you're a nice looking lady, a fine lookin' cougar. You come on inside with me right now, I give you a pill. John here won't notice. He's clappin' at somethin'."

Bush Endorses John McCain For President [AP/Yahoo]

Speaking of McCain’s valorous contributions in the Spanish-American war, the elder Bush said “His character was forged in the crucible of war. His commitment to America is beyond any doubt. But most importantly, he has the right values and experience to guide our nation forward at this historic moment.”

He then advised Republicans to stop crabbing about how McCain isn’t a true conservative, because back in the day everybody complained about how Ronald Reagan wasn’t conservative enough and now REAGAN, LIKE BUSH, HAS A AIRPORT NAMED AFTER HIM.

Former President Bush Endorses McCain [CBS News]

Wonkette operative Ben found long-buried top-secret information about Chafee’s own coke-snortin’ days. Way back in 1999, in his first and only Senate run, he made the shocking admission that he tried cocaine … when he was in college … in the 70s, a time when pretty much nobody except indigent prostitutes and South American criminals were doing that stuff.

“I think it’s important to put it into perspective - I tried it,” Chafee, 46, told WJAR-TV in an interview. “It’s not something I’m proud of.”

The real question is, did Chafee ever try to give drugs to anyone? Did he sell them to anyone?

Senate Hopeful Used Cocaine [ABC News]

But despite this minor inconvenience, former Governor Ann Richards and former Representative Barbara Jordan still bravely raise their voices in support of the woman who would be the first female president of the United States.

“I can hear their voices saying, ‘You keep going! You give the people a real choice about the future!’” Clinton said.

Clinton’s Delegate Math Challenge [ABC News]

Paul is a lot of reluctant because of The War. For most people, this refers to the Iraq War; for John McCain, “The War” is simply a synonym for “time”:

“I can not support anybody with the foreign policy he advocates, you know, perpetual war. That is just so disturbing to me,” Paul said. “I think it’s un-American, un-Constitutional, immoral, and not Republican.”

Amen, Dr. Paul. This is precisely why “media favorite” John McCain will look horrible against either Democratic nominee! Even though John McCain and the Democrats are all very, very gay with each other.

Fortunately, Ron Paul will win the nomination in pretty much every scenario, so it doesn’t matter:

This is the first week when even if Paul won every single delegate in every single upcoming contest, he still could not win the nomination straight out.

Ron Paul: No John McCain Endorsement [The Swamp]

In this election year, look here for a biting take on the nation’s politics. You’ll find a mix of informed analysis, strong opinions, (and, be warned, language), and plenty of rumor and speculation—some of which inevitably turns out to be true.

The former drug mayor told the Washington Post that President Barry represents “a fresh start, a new direction. I listened to him Sunday morning on C-SPAN and it was like a breath of fresh air.” Hey, that’s why many people are voting for Barack Obama — because they saw him on the teevee that time.

[Washington Post]

Mary Matalin has gone all Silverback on us on FoxNews. Oh wait, that’s the Democrats’ next hope! Can’t wait to jawbone with the fellas at the water cooler tomorrow about all her bold, new ideas!

Ha, you may be jawboning with the fellas forever about this lady, who is actually Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius, because she just endorsed Barack Obama and that means she’ll probably become Secretary of State or Supreme Court Justice or something. [Wonkette Comments, AP]