It’s pretty exciting to vote, right? Remember how cool you felt in November, voting for the black dude? Remember how fun it was, voting against goddamned Sarah Palin and Walnuts? And just cold goin’ down the ballot and voting against anybody with an “R” after their name? Fun times. You can relive the excitement today in California, if you live there and do the voting thing — and if you read Wonkette, there’s a one-in-three chance you do live and vote in California. Who knew? MORE »

There is a special place in Hell for hairless rat-eyed creeps who rise to fame as an emblem of all that is mediocre and shameful about our dumb country and who make careers for themselves selling digital TV converters and then start yapping about how they never really supported the people who made them a household name in the first place. We speak, of course, of the odious Joe the Plumber, who will suffer an eternity of torment at the hands of lecherous demons with forked sex organs. MORE »

• ENDORSEMENTS: Your editor endorses John McCain, for president, of America. [AOL Political Machine]

Check out this sexy article which shows every fancy college newspaper endorsing Barack Obama except one, in a ratio coincidentally similar to that of the editorial staff at Slate, “the college newspaper of the Internet.” The only college newspaper to endorse McCain is that of the University of Mississippi, where they hate black people all the time, because of slavery. Not all of Mississippi is horribly racist like this, however, as the “grown-ups’” Clarion-Ledger of Jackson, Mississippi has endorsed Obama. For some PERSPECTIVE, the headline for this paper’s wrap-up of MLK Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” deal in 1963 was, “WASHINGTON IS CLEAN AGAIN WITH NEGRO TRASH REMOVED.” This newspaper has no consistency whatsoever. [Editor & Publisher, HuffPo]

We’ve had a wonderful year with our favorite columns-writer-of, Peggy Noonan — maybe because, in our hearts, we knew this day was coming, this declaration to end all declarations. And here, today, we have our reward, our moment of grace. As usual, as always, our Peggy doesn’t bother with tired old introductions and such — this is, after all, a woman who burst into Bloomingdale’s and demanded pen and paper, one day, when she chanced upon a Mexican. Instead, she drops the bomb we always expected, like this: “The case for Barack Obama, in broad strokes:” And then she makes her case, which contains the most delightfully cruel assessment of John McCain’s delusional character we’ve even encountered. MORE »

What a sore winner this guy is! The only three newspapers in the country to endorse John McCain — the New York Post, Washington Times, and Dallas Morning News — have all been given the heave-ho from Barack Obama’s pwecious pwane. Now they will all have to fly commercial in order to get to various events in the last stretch of the campaign. This is the journalistic equivalent of having to walk through the town square in a pom-pom hat and a thong. [Drudge Report]

MAGAZINE ABOUT WEALTH ENDORSES OBAMA: Sarah Palin’s favorite — dare we say, “favourite,” tut tut — magazine, rich & sexy British global-money pamphlet The Economist, has endorsed Barack Obama, who is more likely to save all of their money than John McCain, who’s just nuts. [The Economist]

The past week has been so insane and frantic — thanks, Ashley Todd! — that we never got around to mentioning the daily endorsements of “That One” by myriad Republican politicians and power-brokers. So let’s run down the list, and maybe even figure out what it all means, at this late stage in the game. MORE »

Suddenly Saturday Night Live is on all the time, because an election’s coming up. But ha ha ha SNL we still don’t watch you, even on Thursdays! Anyhow here is a nice video clip of some portion of that show, featuring your old pals Will Ferrell and Tina Fey, who are not on that show anymore but who came back to do some impersonations. And also Darrell Hammond. A ringing endorsement to watch, yessiree! [NBC]

An evangelist named Dr. K.A. Paul, whom the New Republic has called the most popular evangelist in the world (read: has sodomized more little boys than the others), has shockingly endorsed the Muslin candidate, Barack Obama, in what must be an all-time first! This dude, who we will respectfully dub “The Other Dr. Paul” for the sake of LIBERTY! and FREEDOM!, offered three reasons for his endorsement: restoring America’s image abroad, eliminating the Bush/Republican economic policies, and punishing George W. Bush for his ineffectiveness in bringing about the second coming of Christ as the Bible had ordered him to do. As you can see, one of these reasons is insane on a COSMIC SCALE. What kind of drugs must this guy be on to think that the Bush economic policies have failed us?? MORE »

Republican hero and proud father of Cocktober Mark Foley hangs out in Beverly Hills, apparently, and chatted with a TV producer and a talent manager who thought he looked familiar. Maybe because he was on CSI or something? He said “Yes I am that guy who had to resign from Congress because I sent some sexy emails to a page when I was drunk, blah blah blah.” Then he said he supported Barack Obama for president, thereby ensuring a glorious 72-year McCain/Palin reign of terror. [Wilshire & Washington]