Tag Archives: empty chair

  when i drink alone i prefer to be by myself

Mitch McConnell Makes Funny Joke About How Nobody Wants To Have Drinks With Him

Hey, kids, do you remember that time some doddering old Hollywood elitist yelled at an empty chair and pretended it was President Obama, before God and the nation and everyone, and we all laughed and laughed and laughed, until we realized he was serious, and then we laughed even harder — and that is how Mitt Romney beat Barack Obama for president except that he didn’t? You’re laughing about it all over again right now, aren’t you? Us too! The plan to show Clint Eastwood losing a debate to an empty chair worked so well, in fact — which is why everyone from the Romney team promptly insisted it was not their idea, they didn’t approve it, and Clint Eastwood who? Never met the guy — and Republicans are so super good at getting the joke, that Mitch McConnell, Senate Minority Leader and amateur (very amateur) comedian, has a brilliant way to stick it to Obama, and it is totally going to work. Since everybody howled with laughter at Barack Obama telling the HARD TRUTH that nobody wants to have drinks with Mitch McConnell, because he is an unpleasant person to spend time with, McConnell has decided to prove this by drinking alone, which he prefers to do by himself! He has also encouraged people to take pictures of themselves drinking alone and pretending that the president is sitting there with them even though he is not, and then they will put it on the internets “to be automatically entered to win a drink of your choice with Mitch!” and it will be like Obama’s Waterloo or something, and America fuck yeah! Read more on Mitch McConnell Makes Funny Joke About How Nobody Wants To Have Drinks With Him…
  a time to kill a chair

Texas Patriot Lynches Obama Chair

If lynches were wishes, the president would be white. A nice patriotic fella down in Austin, Texas, has taken to protesting our Kenyan usurper president in the most calm and rational way possible: lynching an empty chair. Via Katherine Haenschen: I called the homeowner to ask about his display, citing my concerns as a fellow Austinite. He replied, and I quote, “I don’t really give a damn whether it disturbs you or not. You can take [your concerns] and go straight to hell and take Obama with you. I don’t give a shit. If you don’t like it, don’t come down my street.” Ironically, the homeowner in question, Bud Johnson, won “Yard of the Month” in August 2010 from his Homeowners Association. I guess his display was a little different that month? Correct, lady. It was August 2010, at the head of Teatard Mania, so he hung a man made of teabags with a “watermelon flavor” sign around the neck and, in case you didn’t get it, a small sign underneath that said “The Slow Drip of Liberty” and then next to it, “For Whites.” SUBTLETY. Read more on Texas Patriot Lynches Obama Chair…