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Tag: employment

Boob Says 'Titties'

Donald Trump Gives Boring Wrong Speech On Economy, But At Least Says ‘Titties’

Donald Trump gave another bad teleprompter speech aimed at proving he's not unhinged. Yeah, that should fix everything.
People with disabilities should just knock it off and stop faking

Sen. Tom Cotton Knows ‘Disabled’ Fakers Spending Your Tax Moneys On Drugs

Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton returned to one of the Great Republican Myths the other day, suggesting the Social Security Disability program is not merely full of fakes and cheaters, but might actually cause economic decline and drug abuse. In...
SHE PISSED.

Lesbian Superhero Houston Mayor Wants Gay Rights Ordinance Back Right Now, Dammit

Tuesday night, Houston took one giant leap backward for humankind, as the Jenny Jerkoffs who showed up to vote decided to listen to lying religious right mofos instead of their own good sense, and effectively killed the Houston Equal...
Don't mind me, I'm just being a complete asshole.

Who’s Winning The ‘F*ck The Poors’ Trophy This Week? It is Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback!

Welfare queens of Kansas, we are very sorry, for your worst nightmares have come true. Your governor, Sam Brownback, has signed HB 2256, which, as we reported earlier in April, makes all the changes to welfare everybody wants, but is...
Thank god somebody has some fresh thinking!

GOP’s Awesome Plan To Make America All Better, Starting With Killing A Million Jobs

John Boehner and Mitch McConnell have affixed their names to a VERY IMPORTANT op-ed in the Wall Street Journal today,* explaining all the terrific fresh new ideas that they'll be able to accomplish with their brand-new Republican control of...
The One shines His Glorious Light Upon Our Valiant Troops

Nice Time: Barack Obama Will Get Vets Jobs And Stop Global Warming All At Once

Just to remind people that he is in fact a hippie greenie liberal who likes to stimulate the economy whether the economy is in the mood or not, Barack Obama is moving forward with a program to train 50,000...

US Senator Jeff Sessions Is A Buzzkill And A Total Narc

Oh noes! The nation's top Law Enforcement Officer made a joke about weed! Doesn't he know that pot kills and that it is NO LAUGHING MATTER? What is our once-great nation even coming to when the FBI Director can...

Insanely Low New Unemployment Numbers Mean Barack Obama Did 9/11

Good news! The new Bureau of Labor Statistics unemployment report came out, and more Americans are working, the unemployment rate dropped to 7.8%, and jobs numbers were revised upwards in July and August. Of course, Barry Obama had a bad...

Today (or Tomorrow) We’re All Helen Thomas

The other day (we're old and can't remember exactly when ... or even where we are right now, actually!), the Wall Street Journal posted on the computer thingamajig that Helen Thomas is "the future of America," for being 89...

New Data Shows Economy Still Sucks

Remember all that talk about how the unemployment rate fell by .1 percent last month and this proved, definitively, that happy days were here again? Remember all the sailors kissing ladies in the streets, and the wonderful ticker-tape parades?...

Unemployment Rate Still Thriving!

In these difficult times, when it seems everything is declining -- corporate profits, individual incomes, assorted varieties and levels of a thing we used to call "hope" -- one thing grows ever larger and more robust: our unemployment rate....

Attention Job Seekers: Glenn Beck Is Hiring!

If you want to weather the recession in style, there's no better bet than serving our nation's ever-diminishing population of wingnuts. As more Americans climb aboard B-Rock NObama's Socialism 'n' Poetry Jams Express, frustrated conservatives have flocked to a...

Meghan McCain Rant Directed At One MATTHEW YGLESIAS?

Hey we solved a mystery, maybe! In her infamous Twitter Rant, Meghan McCain cites "a particularly nasty comment from a person I won't say how but I indirectly work with questioning if I have ever worked." Blah blah blah...

Unemployment Problem Finally Solved

You've done it, America! You have already shed so many jobs that you are running out of remaining jobs to lose. That means new unemployment filings for last week were not quite as awful as unemployment filings for the...

Having Poisoned World Money Supply, Bankers Can Now Poison Young Minds

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown suggested that a group of unemployed people who represent society's most rapacious, morally flexible personalities sculpt the vulnerable minds of innocents. We speak, of course, of out-of-work bankers getting jobs teaching school children. Crazy...

New Stimulus Party Report: Some Guy Drank Beer

We have received another sexy stimulus party report, this time from elitist operative "Eric." He tells us that he drank imported beer, because he doesn't like Bud Light (take that, Cindy McCain), that his girlfriend is kind of a...