Oh noes! The nation’s top Law Enforcement Officer made a joke about weed! Doesn’t he know that pot kills and that it is NO LAUGHING MATTER? What is our once-great nation even coming to when the FBI Director can say something as horrible and shocking as the thing that was said in a hearing by […]

Good news! The new Bureau of Labor Statistics unemployment report came out, and more Americans are working, the unemployment rate dropped to 7.8%, and jobs numbers were revised upwards in July and August. Of course, Barry Obama had a bad debate on Wednesday, so how could the economy mysteriously be recovering two days after Obama […]

The other day (we’re old and can’t remember exactly when … or even where we are right now, actually!), the Wall Street Journal posted on the computer thingamajig that Helen Thomas is “the future of America,” for being 89 years old and (until this month) still working a day job. Perceptive scribe Brett Arends (America’s […]

Remember all that talk about how the unemployment rate fell by .1 percent last month and this proved, definitively, that happy days were here again? Remember all the sailors kissing ladies in the streets, and the wonderful ticker-tape parades? Well, everything has gone back to being terrible, according to New Statistics.

In these difficult times, when it seems everything is declining — corporate profits, individual incomes, assorted varieties and levels of a thing we used to call “hope” — one thing grows ever larger and more robust: our unemployment rate. Let’s hear it for the magical number 9.5, for that is the percentage of Americans who […]

If you want to weather the recession in style, there’s no better bet than serving our nation’s ever-diminishing population of wingnuts. As more Americans climb aboard B-Rock NObama’s Socialism ‘n’ Poetry Jams Express, frustrated conservatives have flocked to a few of the nation’s last reputable wingnut media outlets for soothing words about how right they […]

Hey we solved a mystery, maybe! In her infamous Twitter Rant, Meghan McCain cites “a particularly nasty comment from a person I won’t say how but I indirectly work with questioning if I have ever worked.” Blah blah blah WHAT? (Just read it a few times and it will vaguely resemble English.) So who is […]

You’ve done it, America! You have already shed so many jobs that you are running out of remaining jobs to lose. That means new unemployment filings for last week were not quite as awful as unemployment filings for the previous week, and were the lowest since late January! We have turned a corner, etc!

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown suggested that a group of unemployed people who represent society’s most rapacious, morally flexible personalities sculpt the vulnerable minds of innocents. We speak, of course, of out-of-work bankers getting jobs teaching school children. Crazy Europeans! What will they think of next, milk in boxes?

We have received another sexy stimulus party report, this time from elitist operative “Eric.” He tells us that he drank imported beer, because he doesn’t like Bud Light (take that, Cindy McCain), that his girlfriend is kind of a pain in the ass, and that he has a job for now. In other words, we […]

Oh goodness we spent all day yesterday saluting Bill Kristol, who had to leave the New York Times because he was TOO PERFECT TO GO ON, without noticing a gem of a column by his fellow token conservative David Brooks. He wrote about the profound reverence with which we should approach our professions because they […]

Hurrah, it is a very short YouTube clip! Joe Biden says the middle class’s biggest problem is a three-letter word: jobs, J-O-B-S. Three letters, literally. Literally. [Joe Biden Can't Count]