Look at this shouty email your Wonkette editor received today! It is about Ron Paul—and not just in the sense that everything written in all-caps is automatically, in some way, technically “about” Ron Paul. This letter is a Reasonable One though, as its author merely requests that everyone “JUST LAY OFF UNTIL HE WINS IN 2012 PLEASE!!!!” After 2012—uhh if Ron Paul allows there to be a 2012!!—you can all just do what you want. MORE »

The research goblins over at TPM and the New York Times are busy at work devouring thousands of pages of newly released documents regarding the US attorney firing scandal. At an undetermined point in the future, these specially evolved goblins will excrete a powdery white substance and several pages of “analysis,” or at least a few juicy quotes from Karl Rove about how he is guilty of unspeakable crimes against David Iglesias, the US attorney in New Mexico who was fired “for poor performance” (meaning, because he did not aggressively pursue Republican allegations of voter fraud). MORE »

Hey, we’ve gone all week without some fuckface old Republican getting caught sending hateful racist email about the Obamas. Maybe racism really is on the wane, in America. Maybe old white GOP officials have finally realized it’s not super funny to send hilarious jokes about the coloreds, to everybody, about the president. Ha, right. The latest batch of foul, blatant racism comes from “City Councilman Gary Frago,” in some place near Merced, California. And he’s not sorry, either! “I’m not the only one that does it,” Frago told the Merced Sun-Star. Yeah, we’ve noticed. MORE »

On Friday night the New York Times, a well-known snarky DC gossip blog, suggested that a guy who briefly dated Mark Sanford’s ladyfriend may have leaked a bunch of emails to Sanford’s hometown newspaper. But now Sanford’s ladyfriend is denying it, saying that the accused leaker in question “is an excellent, respectable and honorable man incapable of making anything similar to that.” So who is responsible for sharing these embarrassing emails with the world? MORE »

How are the Republican politicians doing with the email today? Not too good, as usual! It’s a busy Monday, as one Republican official already got busted doing racist anti-Michelle Obama stuff on the Facebook, and now we’re learning about some super-funny racist emails sent out by a Tennessee GOP legislative staffer for Republican state senator Diane Black. Let’s meet the charming Sherri Goforth, who sent the image above to god knows how many people because, ha, a Negro in the White House? MORE »

Remember that CEI video we mentioned last month, the one attempting to cast doubt upon global warming? We found it amusing; but many people had far more visceral reactions.

Howard Mortman collected them here. Several are gems; here’s our favorite:

You sick lying soulless ignorant son’s of bitch’s! Selling out that kid in your commercials future for a few more dollars. Nothing in the Science supports the misleading claims in your adds. You can expect an especially large amount of warming in your future… IN HELL! Anyway have a good day… Jackasses! Ignorance and greed mixed together… what a shitty combination.

More heartfelt responses to the CEI ad appear after the jump.

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The good folks over at Atlantic Media have a crisis on their hands. And since they recently showed us such great hospitality, at the recent Michael Kelly Award Dinner, we thought we’d do them the favor of publicizing their plea for help. Here it is: MORE »

Oh ye of little faith! A number of you doubted the authenticity of the close encounter with Dustee Tucker that we passed along on Monday, from a tipster who claimed to have met her at Starbucks.

Truth be told, we did too. But we now have reason to believe that it was quite authentic, based on what appears to be email correspondence between Dustee and our source.

We now must ask: Is Dustee Tucker a real person? She seems superhumanly nice. She charms an entire Hawaiian resort. She’s besties with the baristas at Starbucks. And she engages in pleasant email correspondence with a man who hit on her in a Starbucks — instead of calling the police and/or seeking a temporary restraining order, which is what most women would do in her shoes.

After the jump, the correspondence — which must be read to be believed…

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Another choice bit of FEMAil, from page 398.

DHS, heckuva job managing FEMA. Oh, sorry, are heckuva job jokes passe? We forgot due to the crushing depression brought on by remembering all this shit. MORE »

The Center for Public Integrity (something we’re in favor of in an abstract sense, but probably wouldn’t recognize if we saw) got their hands on 900 pages of Michael Brown’s emails during the Katrina disaster. We think a lot of the juicy stuff’s been left out or redacted, but there’s a hell of a lot to sort through, so who knows. Feel free to take a look yourself, and send us anything particularly interesting, but we think the tenor of the thing can be summed up by this one:

(Also fun is the exchange that begins with an email on page 723 with the subject “REDEEM YOURSELF BY SAVING THE ANIMALS IN THE GULF!!” — Brown, a genial sort, responds enthusiastically, leading one to wish someone had emailed him with the suggestion of saving the people there) MORE »

Edited slightly for formatting, content untouched. You don’t mess with genius.

1) You guys don’t get it. Porter Goss USES national intelligence.

2) Note that Porter Goss abruptly resigned to leave for his farm two days after Fran Townsend put out Bush’s Pandemic Flu Plan — in which Bush first told us “You’re Fucked” — see here.

Next, he told us “You’re on your own” — see here.

Which looks a lot like the Bush Hurricane Katrina plan.

3) In the 1960s after the Cuban Missile Crisis, Porter Goss left the CIA and settled on Sanibel Island near the bottom of southwest Florida — one of only two spots in the USA that would have survived the massive fallout from a Soviet Nuclear Strike — see here.

4) Now, the news reports that “Goss and his wife own a central Virginia farm, where they raise cattle, sheep and chickens. ” See bottom of here.

It just so happens that Central Virginia is one of the few spots in the country that does not have geese carrying Avian flu flying over it. See here and here.

5) Face it — when the pandemic hits, interstate transport shuts down and you guys in Washington are feeding on each other like cannibals –literally, not just politically — Goss will be setting on his front porch eating goat cheese, sipping homemade Cabernet and enjoying the rural sunset. Laughing his ass off as he tells his wife about how Donald Rumsfeld talked Dick Cheney into buying an estate on the Chesapeake Bay –an area which receives the largest dump of migratory goose droppings in the country.

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